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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell MIL to go home!! Semi-lighthearted

129 replies

Omgstop · 02/03/2019 15:42

NC for this!!😩 Ok so we have an air to water heating and air exchange system (newly built house) and MIL is staying over! She is VERY old school, wakes up EVERY morning and opens the bedroom window. I’m actually ok with this for 10mins etc but she tries to leave it open ALL DAY!!! I am blue In the face trying to explain to her that it is making our system work harder and that it is not needed!!! Everytime I close the window I come back an hour later and the bloody window is open AGAIN!! She is baffled as to how we can prevent damp etc!! I am fed up explaining that the system does it all!! That our house is pretty much airtight and that’s WHY it works so well, that’s why we have no damp, that’s why our house is an ambient temperature (except for when she leaves the flipping window open) I then notice a drop in temp and the heating system is clocking in unnecessarily. aibu to tell her if she doesn’t stop she can go home and open her own windows!! 😭😭😫 rant over!!

OP posts:
lazymare · 02/03/2019 16:54

All those who 'just wouldn't like that' - that's great, don't get this system in your house!

It's called conversation. It often goes off at a tangent.

ApolloandDaphne · 02/03/2019 16:56

Oh gosh I would probably do the same. I can't sleep if I can't feel a light breeze coming in the window. Hotels with sealed windows are torture.

Original poster
Omgstop · 02/03/2019 16:58

@Dermymc no it’s not stale! Read the posts it has an air exchange system 🙄

@ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay yes I mean sqft 😂😂 hubby has just informed me it’s 2226 or there abouts (the original plan was 2110)

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 02/03/2019 17:00

Air to water what now?Confused

No idea what you’re talking about OP, but the solution is definitely a laminated sign stuck on her window: “Please do not open window as it affects the heating system. Thank you.”

Original poster
Omgstop · 02/03/2019 17:06

@PuppyMonkey it’s a type of heating system

OP posts:
Pumpkintopf · 02/03/2019 17:15

If she is only opening the window in her own bedroom, that she's staying in, couldn't you compromise on allowing that if she then keeps her bedroom door closed?

Prequelle · 02/03/2019 17:25

Where the are you all living where you need to open the windows all the time to have breathable air? I'll open a window every now and again but I've never heard of this 'oh I can't cope not being able to open a window the air needs refreshing' stuff Confused I don't understand the 'the air is stale AF' comment

IsAStormApporaching · 02/03/2019 17:25

It's kind if the same logic when you ask a guest in your house not to wear shoes inside for example but they continue to do so. It's not very respectful.

Original poster
Omgstop · 02/03/2019 17:27

@Pumpkintopf well it’s not ideal as each room has a thermostat and also our house is all ground level so if we go off and leave a window open then that’s our insurance null and void if there’s a break in!😩 she did it the other day!

OP posts:
WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 02/03/2019 17:36

Sounds a wonderful system to me .

Years ago my Uncle and Aunt moved into a newly built flat that had underfloor heating . I loved visiting in winter and getting up to a warm floor .

As for MIL , as PPs have said, lock the window after her 10 minutes of having them open

Improve12 · 02/03/2019 17:37

I wouldn't have an issue with opening a bit at morning. lunch and night. all day is irritating. just 10mins a day is irritating

Original poster
Omgstop · 02/03/2019 17:38

@WhentheRabbitsWentWild thank you. We are very happy with it so far!! It took a long time to get here so I’m probably a bit precious but it’s a different take on heating altogether.

OP posts:
rosablue · 02/03/2019 17:41

I was just about to suggest the insurance angle...

Or could you get one of those security alarms for a window that goes off when open... think you can get temporary ones as well as permanent ones. It would shriek every time she opened it so making it difficult for her and no way she can claim forgetfulness!

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 02/03/2019 17:42

@Omgstop Well sounds like you worked hard for it (does not sound cheap to install, though the running costs are brilliant)so enjoy it . I certainly would do .

Original poster
Omgstop · 02/03/2019 18:13

@WhentheRabbitsWentWild not cheap but made sense for a new build, if your gonna do it do it right (or as best we can) was our motto. We were very lucky to have the opportunity to do it!

OP posts:
BasiliskStare · 02/03/2019 18:20

I would find it very uncomfortable to sleep in a room without a window open. If someone insisted windows were shut at all times I would probably find reasons not to go ( which you may prefer - I accept that ) Unless it is a massive security risk I think a few days of a window open at night ( closed when house unoccupied) is not onerous as a gesture to a guest & indeed your husband's mother.

I do sometimes smile at the lack of give and take some people think is normal.

Budsbegginingspringinsight · 02/03/2019 18:26

I have window open pretty much all year around.

I can't understand this at all, I think perhaps your mil is smelling strange smells and is suffering.

People Become immune too house smells when the they live in it... maybe you just can't smell it anymore.

Original poster
Omgstop · 02/03/2019 18:26

@BasiliskStare but that’s not what she’s asking she’s wanting to leave the window open all day when she’s not even in the bloody room!! 🙄

OP posts:
BasiliskStare · 02/03/2019 18:27

But then - when staying at my parents recently - I could have been found creeping round like a cat burglar to find a window key to open the window in "my" bedroom for some fresh air at about 1.30 am.

It was either that or taking the duvet onto the lawn - but then there would have been a whole load of alarm & triple barrel locks to deal with. Next time I shall take a small hammer and just knock out the window.

Stand by for a post from me about how my parents have cut me out of their will Grin

Original poster
Omgstop · 02/03/2019 18:29

@Budsbegginingspringinsight believe me if she smelled something she would say it...she’s not exactly very tactful 😂

OP posts:
BasiliskStare · 02/03/2019 18:30

@Omgstop - yes - I am being a bit jokey - yes that is not OK - but just resonated with me as I do not sleep without open window. I get your point . Apologies @omgstop Whilst all out of house - different matter.

Budsbegginingspringinsight · 02/03/2019 18:32

Unless there's a back story here I can't understand the window issues.

Yes yes heating starts to work system but I would be deeply hurt if I went to stay with DD and she got angsty over basic simple every day thing such as opening a window.

If my window opening was being watched....it would be horrendous.

As for shoes on and off...we are shoes on here but..if we were shoes off I'd never force this on guest's!!

OP your heating is New And strange..it maybe amazing but you need too make allowances for your mil and any visitor really

This is why I can't stay more than one night in premier Inn... I cannot bear not being able too open a window.

peachgreen · 02/03/2019 18:39

Is she just too hot?

Original poster
Omgstop · 02/03/2019 18:44

@peachgreen no she has said it’s a lovely temp in the house. She just likes to “air out the room” but as I said that only takes 10-20 mins not all day! 😩

OP posts:
HiGunny · 02/03/2019 18:50

OP, I have this system and same size house. Could you not adjust the thermostat in her room down to 5 degrees or something and then it won't call for heat?