Why don't men get 1 year paternity leave?

[Catinthetwat]

I was just wondering what people's thoughts were on this?

I think it's hard to defend unequal access to parental leave. This is important for men, women and for children. The only argument against is an economic one. Is that a good enough reason?

The government are currently looking into extending the 2 weeks paternity leave to around 12 weeks I think - which would be a start.

So, men should be given 1 years paternity leave with pay and benefits equal to women - aibu?

Ok, so how much leave do you think mother's should be entitled to?

And how much should fathers be entitled to?

Ok, so how much leave do you think mother's should be entitled to?

What they have now.

And how much should fathers be entitled to?
6-8 weeks. Remember they also have the option of sharing parental leave with their mother beyond the paternity leave.

😂 at breastfed babies sleeping as well as formula fed babies:
expectingscience.com/2014/09/09/lets-face-it-formula-fed-babies-sleep-better-from-their-parents-perspective/

Also: formula fed babies have their mothers and fathers sharing the night feeds (every second night or every second week) - simples!

As for the breast is best stats, no offence, but I'm a professional medical researcher. Here is a good layperson article: sciencebasedmedicine.org/questioning-the-evidence-for-breastfeeding/

Also, we know that formula fed babies are happier. Why are you forcing breastfeeding on them? See: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/10/breastfeeding-babies-temperamental-study

As for the breast is best stats

Well, it is the biological norm - human milk for human babies.

Well, it is the biological norm - human milk for human babies.

But so?

That's your belief and your agenda, @HedgePlastic. That blog post is in interesting read, the conclusions are the bloggers personal opinion. Not sure what you think that proves.

Formula fed babies are not "happier". That linked article is saying that breastfed babies behavior is normal and formula fed babies are artificially pacified and essentially comfort eating and subdued.

I tried to link to articles a layperson could understand.

Also, the interpretation of the finding that formula fed babies are happier as a negative is HILARIOUS! Image if the finding were the other way around 😂

Most medical practitioners understand that breast is most certainly not best, and to be honest, laugh at midwives who make this claim without any understanding of research.

WRT infant feeding it shouldn’t matter which is chosen in terms of parental leave - women shouldn’t be disadvantaged in terms of leave by choosing to breastfeed or formula feed. It shouldn’t be “you chose to breastfeed so it’s your fault your career is fucked”

Quite, @HerSymphonyAndSong. Thank you for putting it so clearly!

They already have it, it's called shared parental leave. If your question is why men don't choose to take it up, you can take it up with them but the answer is they don't want to as they can't be bothered looking after babies.

And if it was a thing that the mother and father took a yesr off together, the father would just sit around doing nothing in 95% of cases. I would not choose this myself. Can't think of anything worse than me and DH both sitting at home staring at each other for a year.

Hedge Agree with you about the scientific evidence re breastfeeding. Shame you quoted untrue facts about womens earnings/

I always wonder where all the money should come from.

We need longer paternity keave
We need better funding for schools
We need free child care
We need better funding for the NHS

But nobody ever says: we need to pay 20% more income tax than we pay now.

I think women should get a minimum of 2 months. I know in theory there are women who feel great right until their birth, have a straight forward delivery and then bounce back, but they are a very small %. There are so many reasons why women can really need longer than that, either for the last few weeks of pregnancy or to recover after.

I would like the absolute minimum to be enough to give a comfortable margin that means women do not need to worry about being medically signed off. Of course, those that need longer can then be signed off on medical grounds if necessary.

After the 2 months, parents should then be able to decide what is best for them and how to split the time. That will be affected by the jobs they have, salaries, feeding, general health of all concerned and availability of childcare. So, it should be flexible about who works or stays home and when.

@HedgePlastic, the article doesn't say anything at all about "happier". That's your interpretation. I'm sure everyone else, if they're interested, can read the linked article and decide for themselves.

My DH took 5 weeks with our first baby. She was a very easy baby, bottle fed, in a great routine so really we didn't need to both be off. But it was good for him to spend the time with us and share night feeds. I was quite relieved when he went back to work though so I could get on with it on my own! I started going to groups etc and made friends with other mums at that point. He's always been very hands on since.

@grinningcheshirecat I would happily pay more tax if it were spent on those priorities. Income tax is not the only source of tax either.

I think women should get a minimum of 2 months.

Do you mean a non optional forced leave for 2 months? Currently it is 2 weeks after birth. As a self employed person I could afford 2 weeks on maternity allowance but not 8! I would need to be legally able to work again before that.

"the father would just sit around doing nothing in 95% of cases"

I don't think this is true, and I find it odd that people have such dismissive attitudes towards fathers. Even if it were somewhat true, I think it would start to shift and more men would realise that there are benefits to experiencing more childcare in the early days.

Fortunately my H is a useful sort, as he is around a lot more than other fathers (at the taxpayers’ expense! ) during school holidays. I do agree that sadly many men would create more work for the women in their lives by having more parental leave

I kind of wouldn't really want DP off for a year with me .

Today 19:04 Catinthetwat

Ok, so how much leave do you think mother's should be entitled to?

And how much should fathers be entitled to?

Ok, speaking as one who had babies in the days when most mums who returned to work went back after 12 weeks (because that’s what maternity leave was) and paternity leave was non existent... I think the current situation is about right. Though personally if I were having babies now I would probably take 6 or 8 months off and transfer the remainder to my dh, because I agree that it’s beneficial to the child and father to have that one on one time too. Also, although returning to work with a 12 week old bf baby was damn hard, I think a whole year out of the workplace would have felt like a very long time, and it would have been harder to slot back into work after getting used to such a different routine for so long.

The idea of men getting a year is completely bonkers though. It doesn’t need both parent home full time to be able to bond and care for a baby. And this is the sort of ludicrous idea that comes from people who have no clue how it would be funded, and no clue about the impact in the workplace.

Oh God it's all about the men isn't it fucking hell women cant even have children without them trying to co-opt there recovery time women need the time to recover men don't they can take a few weeks off to help but really they are better off working and taking time when things settle down a bit or when needed like potty training maybe? Nursery starts or when mom goes back to work make the transition easier

I would have loved to have DH with me for longer than the first two weeks. I'm sure about a year but definitely think 12 weeks would be great.
We looked into shared parental leave but it did not work for us. I think shared parental leave works best if the women is the higher earner. Also I found it hard going back when DD was 1 so wouldn't have liked to have had to go back any earlier.

The cynic in me would say its hard enough to look after a baby without a man sitting around the house wanting to be looked after too.