Do you let your DC do this?

[jcmayj]

If at the dinner table or out for a meal with family, do you let your DC watch things/play on their tablets whilst you eat?

Ds does sometimes - it enables us to be able to eat out or go to cafes as a family. It is always on silent or with headphones. Other people can crack on and do what they need to, and we will do what we need to.

My children and I sat through a rather dull meal with some Dutch accountant friends of dh once. Lovely guys but hardly great conversation for children. Tbh, I was almost at the point of getting my phone out and playing snake on it back in the day!!

8 and 10 year old - never, can keep them occupied with conversation for even the longest meals. 6 year old who is autistic and minimally verbal and would have to wear ear defenders to spend even 5 mins in a restaurant anyway - always (with headphones).

I do my DD is 16month and kicks off all the time when sat in a high chair. So if letting her watch YouTube on our phones is gunna help us have a peaceful meal then that's that

Never, but ours don't play with tablets normally. I hate seeing kids on tablets with no one interacting with them at all. Our 6 year old is autistic the other NT. Both colour and chat when we are out. Three year old usually gets restless first.

No. However we rarely go out for dinner with the dc and if we do it's to a buffet restaurant or carvery so there is no waiting for food.

I guess it’s good to try and balance things for our child, and tailor our parenting to them. However the no tv / iPad can muddy the waters, I liken it to th breastfeeding / dummy snobbery. So if your child was breastfed until they were 5, never had a dummy and never have an iPad you automatically get gold stars! In middle class circles at least.

I’m all for raising the bar of our parenting. But we have to be wise with it, forcing kids to sit still for long periods isn’t brilliant parenting.

My DD has her tablet on when we eat at home most times. We end up watching YouTube together. It doesn't hinder conversation or eating for us. She's had tablet at meals out but more when she was younger. Less so now. Usually went off when meal arrived and was always low.

The problem is that kids using technology has been demonised to some extent, resulting in people saying things like I hate seeing kids on tablets with no one interacting with them at all... Kids can and should be able to do things on their own without interaction sometimes! It's normal and healthy! As long as it's in moderation, then reading alone, playing on a tablet, colouring in, playing on their own with toys... all these things are just fine.

A meal out with family is meant to be a sociable family occasion not just eating. It's a bit sad if itisjust about eating and not the sociable element.

For years I barely spoke to anyone and just read books at meals out. I would talk for a bit and then read. One holiday I read for 18 hours solid without speaking more than yes or no.

Some kids like distractions. Others don't. It's not a big deal.

If they are bored and fussy then maybe we will sort them with an activity while waiting for food. I really don't see the difference between a tablet or some colouring in to entertain them, as long as the activity is done quietly.

@chocolate but would you rather see a kid kicking off because they were bored and restless? My ASD kid has great difficulty drawing and cannot keep up a conversation. I could recite the alphabet 100 times but it’s hard to eat that way. Many kids are like this anyway at a young age. I don’t want to only take them to macdonalds and eat in 15 minutes. I want a coffee with a friend sometimes and I don’t have a million babysitters. (Or any )

Sometimes you see adults out together but separately using their phones without any interaction between them. This is what our future generations are heading for!!! & we can blame technology and the parents who allowed it.

I think most people don't give a crap whether other children use iPads at restaurants, myself included. But it does really annoy me when the sound is on high, especially if the whole family are all watching different things on loud!

We don't hang around chatting afterwards either. One of my favourite things about child free meals out is being able to relax, chat and slowly finish our drinks and not have to make a quick exit.

I am so jealous of those of you whose kids wil quietly watch their phones. None of mine are remotely interested. Running around is much more fun.

Not while we are eating but maybe while waiting for food.

Family dinner/lunch in or out, no. Knackered after a long day and just eating beans on toast, yes. Night out for me and DP where the kids are with us because we don't have baby sitters, yes.

Headphones if we're at a restaurant though.

I prefer that the kids understand the reasons for having/not having rather than having blanket rules.

"I hate seeing kids on tablets with no one interacting with them at all. Our 6 year old is autistic the other NT. Both colour and chat when we are out. Three year old usually gets restless first."

How smug. What would you do if your six year old couldn't 'chat' and didn't enjoy listening to you talking at them all evening?

Personally no. I think it's bad manners. We love meal times as it a great time where we can sit and have time to catch up. I don't allow phones or iPads at the table. Surely you should want to engage with your kids.
I do agree though if you are going to stay for a long period after the meal then there should be something to entertain the children that doesn't disturb anyone else.

I sat at the table having a meal out with my family and the family next to us didn't speak to their children once throughout the meal. The kids just had headphones in throughout. I can't judge as their children may have had additional needs and needed them to get through the meal. But if not I just think it's a shame.

Occasionally at home/GPs if we are all tired and eating something on the sofa.

Never at cafes/restaurants/friends houses.
Someone does have to go for a little walk round with DS while we wait for the food though.

Nope.

Not while they eat but before and after, yes

No, never. It’s just me and DD though so we’re always chatting or doing the puzzle things they sometimes give you in some places.
No judgement though, it annoys me that people put assumptions on families for things like this! There could be a million different reasons why and none of them are anyone else’s business.

DS has autism and sometimes needs his music to avoid anxiety and meltdowns, he always has headphones though 😊