Do you let your DC do this?

[jcmayj]

If at the dinner table or out for a meal with family, do you let your DC watch things/play on their tablets whilst you eat?

No tech at the table here! We sometimes let them have their ipads in the car on the way to having dinner with family, but always they leave them in the car when they go into the restaurant. When they were very small and needed entertainment in a restaurant we'd take a little pack of pens and paper etc.

Btw I am usually the only parent and kid has SN. I’d be actually quite cross if any other diners judged me for letting DS on his iPad!

On he other hand, I have been out with friends who are soooo anti screens that they will let their kids go a bit crazy eating out, running around, wobbling their chair, no one gets to ever have a conversation without it being all let’s jolly the kids, let’s get the food quick, let’s get out of here quick! What stress.

I’ve also seen kids, more rarely, but who quietly colour and eat their meal without mess or raising their voices. I look on in awe!

We do sometimes if we're out and they're not in co-operative moods. Never with sound. I don't give a single shit if people are watching and judging. I know that they get absolutely loads of stimulation and socialisation so keeping them sat down and quiet, when they otherwise would fight against it, so we can have a pleasant meal is fine in my book.
Yes it wouldn't have happened when I was a child but also I can probably count on 1 hand the number of times we had meals out at kids, it was much less of a thing.

But why would you take small children to this kind of meal?

From reading this forum lots of people go to restaurants with extended family and the little children are expected to attend.

But as long as I cannot hear other peoples' tech I don't care what others do.

Re-read your first post, @Youmadorwhat. It speaks volumes.

@PinaColada1 There's nothing 'awesome' about this. It's just bloody hard work.

A meal out with family is meant to be a sociable family occasion not just eating. It's a bit sad if itisjust about eating and not the sociable element.

For years I barely spoke to anyone and just read books at meals out. I would talk for a bit and then read. One holiday I read for 18 hours solid without speaking more than yes or no.

Some kids like distractions. Others don't. It's not a big deal.

I have an extremely lively 4 yr old. He is allowed to use one of our phones when we are out. It's the only way we get to actually eat anything. He's well used to eating out, so it not that he's not used to it. He just cannot sit still otherwise

@Totopoly yes I read my post!! I know what it says I wrote it! I’m annoyed at the fact that ppl are judging parenting on what they see over a meal time!! My quotes are “if I want...” it doesn’t mean I “do”. But I certainly don’t judge anyone who does or need to know if the child had a diagnosis of ANYTHING to help me form that judgment. A lot of ppl on this thread are emanating the holier than thou attitude because they wouldn’t dream of using an iPad at the table. That’s what irks me! I don’t get what you think it speaks volumes about?? But if you care to elaborate...work away!

No because I try to be respectful to those around us. I often play candy crush on the phone waiting for dd to finish eating but without sound and only as she enjoys the game herself.

@dionysa actually I was in awe at the kids ability to be quiet and just draw. I didn’t think it was the parents!

I have a nephew who is impeccably behaved always, in restaurants and elsewhere. However I know that this is because his mother was pretty horrible to him! She’s better now but I was worried at one point. So I don’t assume quiet kids = good parenting. Happy kids, happy parents, respecting other diners = that seriously impresses me.

@iwouldliketoknow sounds like good parenting! You are respecting his nature, working within his capabilities. Nothing wrong with that.

@IWouldLikeToKnow Yes, he can sit still otherwise. Honestly.

@Youmadorwhat It was the whole tone of your first post which spoke volumes. You could perhaps have made the same point in a slightly more coherent manner, which would have carried a bit more weight (though it's hard to say, as it's not entirely clear what your point is. It is hidden in a torrent of 'rowdy' words).

No way. They can colour until food arrives.

@Pinacolada1 Don't worry. I have failed a thousand times over since then. I was quite a good parent when mine were toddlers.

@Totopoly yes I can see what you mean! 😂 I honestly got really annoyed because let’s face we’re all trying to do our best here, and I just got so enraged at a PP’ s flippant comment of something along the lines of “oh well yes, if they have adhd or autism then it’s ok” 🙄No...it’s ok anyway regardless of those diagnosis!! I just think we can’t assume that when we see a kid with a ipad that it is how they do it everytime, and even if they do it’s not our business.

Hell, yes! But only with headphones.

However I know that this is because his mother was pretty horrible to him! She’s better now but I was worried at one point. So I don’t assume quiet kids = good parenting.

Yes. Some kids behave and are quiet because their parents have instilled fear in them. My dad would sit there accepting compliments about how good we were, little did people know it was because we had learnt that doing anything child like when we were children earnt is a smack or 10 when we got home.

Yes with no sound or very low sound though.

No, never

I try to entertain my 1yo as much as possible, but if he’s crying and wriggling I’ll give him my phone to watch. I imagine people would rather hear a (very quiet) cartoon than listen to him wailing.

@Totopoly Eh, he can't. I do know my child. Everyone that meets him comments on how busy he is and his inability to sit still.

@PinaColada1 Thank you. I do feel judged, but I know what works for him. He rarely gets the phone/iPad at any other time.

Our daughter is 5.

Generally she will colour etc (if provided while we wait for food)

If it's a 3 course/slow meal and she's been done a while and getting edgy but we still want to chat/eat more then we will let her play with one of our phones. But not with volume on.