AIBU to ask whether you give your second child things of their own`

[Kneehigim]

Don't ask the train of thought that led me to this because it's a long wandering path starting with watching MJ and the Jackson 5 perform I'll be there.
They were all so beautifully turned out, could you ever have known what life they lived.

Anyway, the mind wandered a bit, and I had one toy that was purely mine (I had an older brother). And I loved it. But it got me to realise that any toy I had as a kid was never mine, it was always my brother's or to share

So, do you ensure your second and subsequent children have things that are purely theirs?

I think the eldest gets an unfair advantage in life sometimes.

Did you not get your own toys for birthday or Christmas?

Of course they had things that were only theirs..... All of their birthday presents for example. Shared presents were only given at Christmas (along with 'own' presents, of course)

I have two sons, and yes, they always had their own things, though as children they were also expected to share eg expensive computer equipment. But they had their own rooms, clothes, toys, right up to a motorcycle and a car each.

They were always games that could be shared or clothes in the latter years. Never anything that was just mine.

Yeah, I do.

And I’d rather buy cheap and twice, than buy clothes to pass down.

My older two girls have very different tastes, and I know the middle one would be quite upset to have to wear DD1’s black emo hand-me-downs.

Well that's the point I suppose. The first born never has to share.

Yes but it’s probably not necessary. A lot of toys have become my youngest’s only. Thechildren somehow decide between themselves what is to share and what is theirs individually. Obviously the individual toys get shared sometimes. The eldest actually has less toys that are only his.

Yes absolutely. I do hand down clothes but they both get new clothes and they both get their own toys.

The first born has to share their parents when the second one turns up. Guess that's pretty difficult.

Yes. Mine have plenty of their own toys as well as shared things. I have three boys and my younger two so wear hand me down clothes(it seems wasteful not too) but I too them up with their own things too.

Within reason yes

Both of my kids have their own toys, but ds has dd’s cot.

He also had her training step and toilet seat.

I’m sure there are a couple of things we kept behind for him that was hers, but things like clothes and toys, were bought just for him

I always buy them their own things

They have shared games and a trampoline but otherwise have very different interests

There is two years between my boys and yes, they have their own things.

Because they are so close in age, we did end up reusing a lot for our youngest, like car seats, pram, cot, clothes etc. But we have also made a point of buying new bits of clothing for our youngest. They have their own toys. Stuff generally does get shared with, but they do have their favorites that the other isn't allowed to play with.

I remember as a child, I did kind of end up being dumped with my brother's old things. He was 3 years older and I remember having to wear his old clothes. I also kind of remember always having to have the same stuff as him. It wasn't really until I was about 10 my parents realised I had my own tastes and they were different to my brother's!

I've made a point of asking my boys what they want and encouraging them to have their own tastes. They do like similar stuff, but that's their choice rather than forced.

I think it's just a little sad that I only had one toy that was only mine. Everything else my brother would take off me as it was 'his'. He was an asshole of a big brother.

And I'm talking about being quite young, I remember this house, so I would have been 3 and him 6, so it's obviously something that has stuck with me.

I suppose the latent message it gave me is that I wasn't as important as him.

I was the eldest of three, but I was expected to share my things (that were given to me) because I was the oldest and therefore should understand.

My siblings had things of their own and we're not expected to share with me to the same extent.

I only have one dc and know that it would probably break her wee heart if I had another child. She has always been very attached to me. For that reason, I've never had another child.

Yes, they have very different tastes regarding some things despite being so close in age. I think the younger children benefit by getting new and hand me downs.

Lol Fluffy, maybe there's only so much sharing we can take.

I have an age gap of less than 2 years and one boy, one girl.

Both have things of their own, but are encouraged to share most things but we know who the 'owner' is. Some things are bought to share. Some are things they do not have to share.

Often we have to buy the same clothes for the other so they match by their request!

What age range are you in OP? I can imagine this being the situation for my DM&D's generation (60's and 70's) but not more recently

DS2 is only 1 but I’m trying to avoid buying more stuff outside of bday and Xmas to be honest. He’s the opposite season to DS1 so I do buy him clothes. Me and DH are both second born of the same sex as siblings but certainly had own presents at bday/xmas.

To add insult to injury, my sister came along then and I had to share a bed with her. She used to wet the bed and I'd have to get up in the middle of the night to shower, change sheets, change her.

Middle child really gets the short straw.

Yes of course. My DD’s are only 19 months apart but they have very different interests and taste in clothes etc (they’re only 5 and 3!). I also have a newborn baby boy and he will get his own things.
Both happily share with each other though.

I was born in the 70's