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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He laughs at me

66 replies

PS78 · 01/03/2019 13:39

So my husband is driving me mad. Whenever I try and have a serious conversation with him he makes jokes. I've told him this annoys me and of course it annoys me more knowing he does it knowing it annoys me! It makes me very grumpy and I end up snapping at him, so then he storms off in a huff. Surely if you tell someone something really bugs you, they should try not to do it. I find it disrespectful to me. He says I'll just have to put up with it. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Hazlenutpie · 01/03/2019 13:40

He says I'll just have to put up with it

Well you don't actually, so tell him to fuck off.

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 01/03/2019 13:40

Nope -he's avoiding the issue by laughing -try writing to him instead - and add a little small print detail at the bottom - that if he still avoids - the next letter will be from your solicitor

Singlenotsingle · 01/03/2019 13:42

He's a dick isn't he? How to win friends, eh?

Aquamarine1029 · 01/03/2019 13:43

You married him why exactly? Didn't you know this about him from the start?

Original poster
PS78 · 01/03/2019 13:48

Aquamarine1029 no this is a new thing since our baby was born 16 weeks ago.

OP posts:
percheron67 · 01/03/2019 13:55

My husband did this. It wasn't until later when I discovered he was a functioning alcoholic that it made more sense. i.e. I am not sure he was always capable of looking at things rationally.

User10727292 · 01/03/2019 14:02

What a cunt

AssassinatedBeauty · 01/03/2019 14:04

I wonder what he would say if you made it clear that you didn't have to put up with it actually?

What are the kind of serious things you are talking about and what are the "jokes" that he makes?

hellsbellsmelons · 01/03/2019 14:05

Ahhhh - a new baby.
This is when abusers show their true colours.
So next time this happens and he storms off in a huff - just laugh at him. A LOT!!!
See how he likes it!
Is this the only he does that you don't like?
What else has happened since the baby was born?

Original poster
PS78 · 01/03/2019 14:06

AssassinatedBeauty earlier I was saying about heating babies bottles as our bottle heater is broken an hob gas so not good so he said 'stick them up my arse and they'll get warm' 😳

OP posts:
Original poster
PS78 · 01/03/2019 14:10

Hellbellsmelons loads, he's screamed in my face, spat in my face, told me my post pregnancy belly was disgusting. I'll also add, I work, he doesn't, but he says childcare is a womans job so refuses to feed him at night. When he dies do anything he does it 'his way' because he's right and he's not into 'Internet fads'! Then baby ends up crying because he's not being fed right and full of wind 🙄

OP posts:
sar302 · 01/03/2019 14:10

Follow his suggestion and then laugh hysterically and tell him he just has to put up with it. How irritating!

sar302 · 01/03/2019 14:11

Ok, with that last update, his shit sense of humour is the least of your problems

EhlanaOfElenia · 01/03/2019 14:13

I agree with Sar, you have bigger problems than a shit sense of humour.

Tonkerbea · 01/03/2019 14:13

OP, he's despicable and you and your baby deserve more.

I'm appalled at his treatment of you.

CouldntThink · 01/03/2019 14:13

Following your latest update your DH is an abusive twat and you and your baby would be better off away from him.

FizzyGreenWater · 01/03/2019 14:13

Ok - your last post.

Leave him.

Seriously. He brings nothing, and takes away quite a lot.

He doesn't even help out financially?!

Don't be miserable and enjoy life and your son less because of some useless dick spoiling things.

Ask on here for help with thinking through the practicalities and do it now, while your child is tiny.

GabriellaMontez · 01/03/2019 14:16

Do you plan to leave him? I would in a flash.

grinningcheshirecat · 01/03/2019 14:16

Why are you with him?

AssassinatedBeauty · 01/03/2019 14:19

Oh, wow. Well that's all abusive behaviour, really abhorrent. I'm so sorry you're having to put up with this.

Is leaving him something you could think about? If he doesn't work, doesn't do anything with the baby, then really you would be no worse of without him. And in fact a lot better off, probably financially, emotionally and practically.

Merryoldgoat · 01/03/2019 14:22

FFS. Screams in your face? Spits at you? Doesn’t work but doesn’t do childcare either?

Seriously - what’s keeping you there? Did you seriously have no clue about this stuff prior to having your baby?

Thurmanmurman · 01/03/2019 14:23

My god woman you need to run for the hills. He doesn’t work, doesn’t do childcare, screams at you, spits at you, insults you and has a shit sense of humour. Please don’t accept this and don’t let you child have that sort of ‘man’ in their home.

HollowTalk · 01/03/2019 14:24

Well that was a drip feed. He sounded awful from the start, but your reveal later shows him to be well worth leaving.

Come on, OP. You have a lovely baby. Don't let them grow up with a twat like that.

Original poster
PS78 · 01/03/2019 14:25

Thanks everyone, just to explain, he was a dick years ago in our relationship (we're together 16 years) then he got better and has been great for years, but since baby was born he's gone horrible again. We both worked until baby was born. We'd decided he would stay home and mind baby as I have the career and greater earning potential and his wages would just go on childcare anyway. But since our son has come his changed drastically. He says it's the stress but I have the same stress and more besides while trying to get better (I had sepsis post birth and have a fractured coccyx). I feel he is being supremely selfish.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 01/03/2019 14:26

Are you back at work already? Is he actually looking after the baby during your working hours?