Is it possible H was married/ had family before me?

[womaninatightspot]

Already separating but he was abusive (verbal gaslighting etc.). Suspect having proof he's a liar would be good for my mental health. Found a birth certificate among his papers from before we were married. His name listed as father and informant (so would have to be married to mother right?) Same surname as the mother.

It is a common name and he's from a large family who I've never met so can't ask them (I know major red flag territory.) Can I use this to search for a marriage certificate and confirm the date of birth and know for sure. We are married and declared no previous marriages when filling out wedding licence application. Do they double check these things?

Would rather him not know I know if that makes sense. I don't want to confront him.

I second getting legal advice asap. Perhaps under the guise of "asking for a friend" in case it stirs up an entire shit storm.

I'm so sorry OP this must be one unimaginable shock 💐

He is also a man who has walked away from 2 children. Potentially, his parents and family. That isnt normal behaviour.

Any chance he has been spending money elsewhere over the years. Any unexplained visits to family events alone , holidays or on business?

He is also a man who has walked away from 2 children.
Or there is another good reason why he was not allowed to see them, and there may be some quite disturbing ones.

How is it that people can get away with bigamy in this country? Aren’t all these records electronic? So if you go and register your intentions to marry wouldn’t this kind of thing be flagged? I mean I know that it doesn’t get flagged, but why not? Surely if the registrars had this kind of information to hand then bigamy wouldn’t be a possibility? And yet it happens...

I once watched a documentary about bigamists and how they’d essentially married other women but were actually leading double lives at the time. They all got caught somehow and ended up in jail but I can’t remember how they got found out. But in at least one case the second wife took him back when he was let out. .

I'd be booking an appointment with my solicitor pronto.

Gosh - this is really worrying - OP - I hope you get to the bottom of it.

Personally I’d be trying to track down the wife and kids to understand what the situation is before approaching him.

Unbelievable, you just never know.

Does work away quite a bit actually but abroad normally I book flights. Can't find any subsequent marriage for her. Surely you'd get divorced in the other persons absence. It's been years and years. We've not really agreed to a divorce just to separate.

Must go tend to my neglected children will check back later though.

Please get legal advice . There could be so many reasons this man doesn't see his children or his parents anymore.

Surely you'd get divorced in the other persons absence. It's been years and years

perhaps devout Catholic too and refusing to divorce ?

Am so sorry -

Oh doesn't sound good

Sounds pretty suspicious to me.. Hope you get to the bottom of it and are ok, OP

Crikey Orange that's a good point I hadn't thought about. Maybe she's catholic. It just doesn't gel with what he'd told me about that period of his life.

Right children then wine methinks.

I’d be looking to find the extended family rather than the wife tbh.

If he’s had nothing to do with them for all these years could he have been reported missing? If not they can likely shed light on what happened rather than what he says happened.

Why are you splitting OP?

Does the online marriage certificate specify a venue for the marriage? You could google and see if was a Catholic church (as opposed to CofE etc). Not that it negates the bigamy, more out of curiosity.

Splitting because he can be an abusive twat at times and I put my foot down.

Gives a district but not a church. crikey there's someone with her name lives locally according to 192

Op you need to see a solicitor I am utterly shocked

What an awful situation for you OP, you must feel so shocked. Definitely a glass of wine tonight! 🍷

So sorry you are going through this OP. He sounds like a liar. Not sure what being catholic has to do with anything? As a congregation they are the biggest liars and sinners out! Covering up child sexual abuse, denying it, but saying some Hail Marys and confession makes it okay apparently.

Fuck off Daily Mail

See a solicitor and now you’ve searched all this you can’t really lie that you didn’t know just to get a better divorce as that is also a criminal offence, are you in the uk? (I’m not saying that’s what you’re planning but there’s a few people on here suggesting it but you’re too far in now. If the police find out there’ll be an investigation and the cps will want everything.

I’m so sorry though x

Please look after yourself. Do not contact the other woman! Or anyone involved for that matter. You should make an appointment to see a solicitor as soon as possible. Call in the morning and make an appointment.

Look for the children on Facebook.
Most children have it.

Can't think of anything useful that hasn't been said already. Placemarking!