Is it possible H was married/ had family before me?

[womaninatightspot]

Already separating but he was abusive (verbal gaslighting etc.). Suspect having proof he's a liar would be good for my mental health. Found a birth certificate among his papers from before we were married. His name listed as father and informant (so would have to be married to mother right?) Same surname as the mother.

It is a common name and he's from a large family who I've never met so can't ask them (I know major red flag territory.) Can I use this to search for a marriage certificate and confirm the date of birth and know for sure. We are married and declared no previous marriages when filling out wedding licence application. Do they double check these things?

Would rather him not know I know if that makes sense. I don't want to confront him.

If he still is married to that wife, then as the house, etc is all in OP's name, a separation will benefit OP and her DC. The "husband" likely won't have much of a claim.

Yes, it's fantastic news as far as holding onto what's yours, womaninatightspot!

Hello Dc in bed so have come back. House is in my name but he put up the cash could he claim it back as no longer a gift to spouse?

I am in the UK. It was called a felony in the offences against the person act (joys of google) maybe it's just a classification of crime I know what you mean it does seem like an Americanism.

Bigamy. Offence may be dealt with where offender shall be apprehended. Not to extend to second marriages, &c. herein stated.
Whosoever, being married, shall marry any other person during the life of the former husband or wife, whether the second marriage shall have taken place in England or Ireland or elsewhere, shall be guilty of felony, and being convicted thereof shall be liable . . . F1 to be kept in penal servitude for any term not exceeding seven years . . . F2:

To summarise a few points upthread, definitely listed as single informant, mother was listed as having maiden name so married. On ancestry you only get the year and the quarter, his name is listed in fourth quarter but was born in the third quarter. Can anyone who is on Ancestry check and see if that is a common occurence? Pretty please and thanks in advance.

So I suppose possibility exists of having someone of the same name/ age who had a different life but why on earth would he have a birth certificate for someone unrelated to him?

I found evidence of one marriage and two children with the same surname/ mothers maiden name as per long and short birth certificates I'd found. The marriage and births all happened within the same district. The eldest was a girl who'd of been 14 when we "married" youngest would of been 9.

I need to order the marriage certificate to confirm DOB and if it does will hit up the linky to family court they can search divorce records 65 quid for ten years.

I think before it's confirmed I don't want to take any legal steps as it would be jumping the gun. Am still feeling flabbergasted tbh the idea that you don't really know who you've been living with for ten years is overwhelming.

Trying to think through implications would I have to change my name back? Would the dc's birth certificates need altered? Life insurance would be void as it's a joint policy? May mooch over to legal..

Donotworry You made me laugh with that comment nearly sprayed the keyboard with wine.

You say he works away a lot but you always book the flights. Do you have any evidence of him actually getting on these flights? How much contact do you have with him while he's away.

I really think you need to get legal advice asap. I can't see how you can keep it quiet if you're hoping to divorce him rather than just separate, so surely it's better if you can prove that you were honest about it when he wasn't. He could claim you always knew about his previous marriage, and if it comes out that you did know, for even a short period, but chose to keep quiet for your own benefit, that's really not going to make you look very good in the eyes of a judge.

Wow. You poor thing.

From a practical point of view, births are occasionally registered in the following quarter. So, for example, a baby born in March might not be registered until April. I haven't been on Ancestry for a few years now but if the records are by date of registration rather than date on the certificate, that could explain a minor discrepancy along the lines of the one you mention above.

Wow this must be such a shock, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Hope you get some answers soon. You definitely need legal advice re house etc.

Yes, if you look at the date of the registration on the cert (as opposed to the date of birth), you can see whether it's in the fourth quarter.

The index (which is what's on Ancestry) is by registration date.

On ancestry you only get the year and the quarter, his name is listed in fourth quarter but was born in the third quarter. Can anyone who is on Ancestry check and see if that is a common occurence? Pretty please and thanks in advance.

This is a common occurrence if a person is born in the final days of one quarter may be listed in the following quarter. This happens because it is really a list of registrations rather than a list of births. Registration can happen weeks after the birth.

And as a PP said, it certainly does happen that births are registered in the quarter after the birth (when a child was born towards the end of a year, they can even appear in Q1 of the next year).

Definitely gets on the flights. I quite like the peace when he's not here so really wouldn't need a elaborate story to dash off. If he was to tell he was working in Ireland for a bit and getting the ferry I'd just wave him off. It's not like I'm interrogating him.

He was in the middle of the quarter but I think his mother was very poorly post birth so perhaps registered late.

Your children’s birth certificates wouldn’t need to be changed as he is their father, and you can call your children whatever name you like, his, yours, or made up. If you wanted to change their names, I think you’d need a different certificate for that.

I don’t think it gives marital status on a birth certificate, isn’t that the problem after all. So it wouldn’t matter as far as your DC’s certificates go.

Sorry you are going through this OP.

You might have some luck with the general register office; there's a number on line. The staff there are very helpful.

I think his mother was very poorly post birth

Where did you get that info from?

House is in my name but he put up the cash could he claim it back as no longer a gift to spouse?

The key is when was the house acquired? If the house was acquired after your marriage then chances are it is a joint marital asset, regardless of whose name it's in or who put the cash up. If you had the house before you married, whether or not he has any interest in it would depend on many things.

This is why it's imperative you get legal advice. If the house was acquired after your marriage and is in your sole name, but it turns out that you were never legally married that may make a huge difference!

It also occurs to me that if he IS legally married to wife #1, that would be a very very good reason for him to have put the marital home in your sole name. That way she couldn't come along and claim it in an ensuing divorce or try to take it from you (as his 'rightful widow') after his death.

Gosh. 💐

Epanoui That info came from him.

House acquired post marriage but in my sole name. More than 7 years ago so IHT wouldn't be an issue.

Across the pond That thought crossed my mind too.

For the person who asked about social media he's on it but under a nickname and privacy settings locked up tight.

If you even suspect you can contact the police who would do the investigating for you, it's a serious offence - even if the marriage was dissolved or his wife died he should have declared when he married you. As to the house, unless he has joint ownership I think the court will side with you especially if bigamy was proved.

This has been very shocking for you to learn in such a short space of time. Today must have been hard for you. Take care of yourself.

As PP have said, bigamy is a serious offence. You are the innocent victim of a huge deception and a court of law ought to treat you well. Please talk to the police.

I think unless I knew for sure I wouldn't want to contact the police as he has form for being a vindictive bastard. I'm not entirely sure whether I'd be safe if I accused him of something like this and it wasn't true.

I think, at this point, you are pretty much in a position where you must report a suspected crime. Your H will be arrested.

Trying to think through implications would I have to change my name back?

Don't worry about your name. You changed it in good faith, and have been using it in good faith. UK law is clear that you can change your name to whatever you like, as long as there's no intent to defraud. I assume your personal documents are all in your "married" name? Bank account, etc, ditto? You won't have any oligation to change back, and if your DC are young it may be better to remain with the same name as them right now.

If the marriage is confirmed, you won't have a divorce certificate if you want to change back, but I think you can just wave your own birth certificate around to back up the name change. (I don't believe a deed poll is needed to revert, just if you want to change to a completely new surname.)

I don’t think you can “think through” the implications! You are underestimating how serious a crime bigamy is. You are not responsible for anything but you really need a court of law to deal with this so that you have the paperwork to get your life in order.

I think as it's been years 5 days whilst I wait for marriage certificate to confirm will make little difference.