To ask which school you'd pick?

[HelenLaBloodyAnnoyed]

DD has been put on the waiting list for her first choice of school and has been offered a place at her second. Now I'm not sure which is best, I had been hoping the application process would take the decision out of my hands! Both are similarly good academically.

School A

1.2 mile walk or bike away
Town location
Lots of friends going
Absolutely huge
Some people going that have previously bullied DD
Same school holidays as siblings

School B
8 miles away - half mile walk to bus or train then a mile walk the other side
Rural and beautiful location
Very small
Only a few people going that DD knows (but she isn't bothered)
Two weeks of the holidays are different to siblings but I think this could be good in a way as DD could have some space from them and 1:1 time with me

Which one do you think would be best?

Which one does she want to go to?

How small is very small?

I'd probably say A due to the distance. What does she say?

I’d lean towards A but both sound like good options?

Tbh regarding friends, they tend to make a whole new group of friends ,my ds1 is in year 7 and he doesn't really have much to do with his friends from primary school.

A for staying in the comfort zone, B for a gamble that could be the making of her IF she quite fancies a fresh start?
Guessing B is waiting list and B is second choice?
Could hang on for B, go if she gets a place, and if it doesn’t work out and she doesn’t make friends / doesn’t like the travelling, then can always move to A in year 8.

*A second choice?

Hang on, the decision HAS been taken out of your hands, in that you've got one and not the other?
Accept the one you have been offered and see what happens with the other one.... decide in due course what to do IF you eventually get the other.
You'd be mad to turn down a definite school place for one you might not ever get!

But you haven't and might never have a place at school A!

I'd personally prefer school A (closer and "very small" worries me for a secondary).

Surely you have this worry if and when you actually get offered a waiting list place?

Personally I would go for A if I had the choice.

Don't underestimate the importance of school holidays at the same time. I suppose if you are SAHM it is not such an issue but for parents who work school holidays are always a struggle so I wouldn't do anything to complicate things.

It's 600 pupils vs 3000 so very different.

She's happy either way but I feel she could be overwhelmed at the big one, though it's much more convenient.

I thought she would lose the option of both if she gets a waiting list place? So if she wants the one she's been offered she needs to take it?

You need to accept a school and then go on the wait list

Sorry pressed to soon... accept the one you've been offered, stay on waiting list for the other option and then if you get offered wait list you have a choice to make (check with admissions re the process for offers from wait list because I think different LA's manage it slightly differently)

I went to a village school of 350 (11-16, no Sixth Form) and found it really stifling! Plus it was not always easy to do the subjects you wanted etc, they offered a more limited range of subjects to take and very little extra-curricular activities (sports, which weren't my cup of tea, no Duke of Edinburgh etc). Social life was hard as we all lived miles away from each other with no public transport.

I now live in a city and my DC go to a primary of around 600 children and will (hopefully!) go to a Secondary school of around 1000, with on site Sixth Form. And just ten minutes walk from the house with all the other students living close.

School B - definately!

3000 pupils, wtf!!
Wouldn't worry about old bullies in a school of that size, it's unlikely they'd be in same groups, pure bad luck if they were. And perhaps no huge advantage if friends are going there as there's so many other new pupils and friendship groups, she might not even be in same classes as old friends.

If it's only 2 weeks difference in holidays times, thats good i reckon.

You didn't mention school results for gcses/a levels - are they the same?

If you got school B....congrats!

Friendships might be more difficult at the further school. If dd is eight miles away in one direction, and friends are eight miles in the opposite direction, how easy will it be to meet up at weekends and in holidays? I'd always opt for a nearer school for that reason, other things being equal.

But that said, it sounds as if it wouldn't be a disaster if she ends up at School B.

When i waitlisted my child, they were offered a place and automatically withdrawn from the previous 1st choice/sibling entry offer I'd accepted. So please check with you school admission dept.
I wasn't excepting that, thought I'd have time to make a final choice. But didn't matter, because I actually genuinely wanted the waitlisted place more, wasnt just trying to keep my option open, well maybe a tiny bit

600 is tiny for a secondary school, remember this is for the next 4/6 years and what’s good at 12 could feel restrictive at 15/16.
As others have said you won’t get to make this choice unless a place becomes available on the wait list, accept your current school and see what happens, if a place come or or not, until then you have no choice to make.

The second one sounds better to me. Schools of thatsize are the norm where I grew up. 3000 is certainly huge and would put me off a bit. I certainly enjoyed going to school and knowing everyone in my year at least to some extent and it also encouraged mixing between different years which was really beneficial. 8 miles is a good commute. Walking and budding provides some nice down time imo. Of course a nice setting is nice.

Yes, here they lose the offered place if they get the waiting list place so I need to decide really.

Results are similar but the bigger school has a good reputation for improving pupils attainment. The rural one is more up and coming. Being further away from friends isn't that bad a thing IMO as then she's more likely to have them over/go to places rather than just hang around the local park.

Bigger school is likely to have a better range of exam subjects. Won't affect your daughter if she ends up wanting to run of the mill things, but might give her a better choice of sciences or languages for example.

8 mile commute is good for independence (and exercise - 3 miles a day). Journey will be miserable in bad weather, and will take best part of an hour each way.

Downside of 8m commute is that new best friends may be 8m in the other direction, so not practical for meeting outside school, and unless she can keep a good group of friends going for out of school socialising, she's going to miss out on opportunities to develop social skills. In today's workplace, social skills, the ability to work in a team, the ability to bring people around to your way of thinking, are as important as academic attainment.

she's more likely to have them over /go to places

And if they live the wrong side of school does public transport allow her/them to organise thisI independently, of is it all relying on parents' taxi service?

My year 8 DD has 2 friends round as I write. They decided spontaneously to come back to ours after school, which they can do because they can because they can get themselves home afterwards without having to forward plan with a parent. That's the ideal for teenage friendships.

Is the 8 mile school the next nearest school to you?

If that's the closest they can offer she'll get transport. Round my way they all love the bus journey in together and make friends very quickly.

No I'd have to pay for public transport to the further one.