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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Au pair and dog poo

170 replies

Littleloafofbread · 01/03/2019 07:27

Dog did a poo in front of the front door during the night - very rare accident and she's never had to clean up after him in six months of being here. Au pair left for work early this morning (we don't need her to work during school holidays so she has a different babysitting job) and rather than cleaning it up, she pushed it out of the way with the door, of course getting it on the door and on the bristles under the door, which of course I have had to clean.

AIBU to say something to the au pair about this? In her defence, it isn't her job to look after or clean up after the dog, there was no other way to get out of the house and she was probably in a hurry to get to work. However, she is an adult and my gut reaction is that she should have just cleaned it up because sometimes these things happen, and by not doing it she knew she was making extra work for me.

OP posts:
calpop · 01/03/2019 07:29

I dont have a dog and I would not clean up dog poo for anyone. Id have gone out the back door though.

ThePollutedShadesOfPemberley · 01/03/2019 07:31

No. Don't mention it this time. If she does it again knowingly, mention it but I would let it go.

Crunchymum · 01/03/2019 07:31

Could she have not seen it?

GinUnicorn · 01/03/2019 07:32

I’d say maybe she was in a rush and just didn’t notice. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

Giraffetower · 01/03/2019 07:32

You're both right - but you're the one going to have to suck it up, because you're only "morally" right and presumably it isn't her dog nor in her job description.

However, I always thought the point of an Au Pair was to treat them like family rather than a paid employee, so I'd be pissed off in your shoes, too - as I would expect another adult family member to help look after the family dog.

gambaspilpil · 01/03/2019 07:33

If your dog has an issue with defecating in the house I would ensure he isn’t simply allowed to roam and poop where he wants. Rare occasion or not. I would have been fuming if I was the au pair who was leaving early to find that presented at the door. She is likely to have been in a hurry and had to simply shift it.

imnottoofussed · 01/03/2019 07:34

That's gross. Even if I didn't have a dog, if I was staying at somebody else's house and the dog had done a poo so I couldn't get out I'd pick the thing up. As a last resort if I really had a phobia of dog poo or was gagging or something like that then I would try and wake the owners up to clear it up. There is no way I would have opened the door.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 01/03/2019 07:34

Yeah I wouldn’t clean up dog shit either. I wouldn’t make it worse, but it’s your dog, you clean it up!

IceRebel · 01/03/2019 07:34

I think it's more likely that she didn't see it. If it's the first time the dog has had an accident she wouldn't be looking out for any.

I don't think it would be her job to clean up the mess even if she had seen it, especially given she doesn't work for you during the holidays. Also I would be getting the dog checked out, to make sure everything is ok.

Bobbybobbins · 01/03/2019 07:37

You could mention it like 'Sorry that the dog had left a mess this morning - if you see it again please let us know/wake us up straightaway and we will deal with it' Then you are making it clear she doesn't need to clean it up but also letting her know not to leave it!!

chuttypicks · 01/03/2019 07:47

I'm confused - if she's your au pair then surely she works for you, so where was she going? (Yes, I totally missed the point).... also, maybe she didn't see the pooh and when she opened the door it just scraped the pooh back out of the way without her realising?

FlopsyMopsyRabbit · 01/03/2019 07:52

@chuttypicks OP said she doesn't need au pair in the holidays so she has another babysitting job

Nothinglefttochoose · 01/03/2019 07:52

I thought au pairs looked after children? It’s not their job to clean generally

Original poster
Littleloafofbread · 01/03/2019 07:53

Thanks everyone! I was very annoyed to start with but I thought it better to get some perspective before speaking to her about it.

I think I'll borrow Bobby's line. I doubt it'll be an issue again -DDog is normally completely reliable - so I suppose there's no point ruffling feathers!

OP posts:
Stopyourhavering64 · 01/03/2019 07:56

It's your dog....not her job to clean up after it- she's there for your dcs

Billballbaggins · 01/03/2019 07:56

You can’t really speak to her about it because she will say she didn’t see it. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t but that’s what she will say. If your dog shits in the night keep it confined to one room or get up and let it out during the night, your AP shouldn’t be having to deal with dog shit anyway.

Original poster
Littleloafofbread · 01/03/2019 07:56

Nothing, often au pairs do a bit of cleaning though ours doesn't. It's more that by opening the door, if she had indeed seen the mess, she would have knowingly been creating extra work for me, when unfortunately we all occasionally have to do unpleasant tasks when we're part of a household.

For the pp who mentioned it - au pair grew up with dogs so has had plenty of experience cleaning up after them.

OP posts:
SoThisHappened · 01/03/2019 07:57

Yep, that's a good response.

Dogs can be lovely but are disgusting - there's no way I'd clean up someone else's dog shit!!

howwillwedeal · 01/03/2019 07:58

If your dog has an issue with defecating in the house I would ensure he isn’t simply allowed to roam and poop where he wants. Rare occasion or not. I would have been fuming if I was the au pair who was leaving early to find that presented at the door. She is likely to have been in a hurry and had to simply shift it.

It was a one off accident and the au pair is living in a family home, these things happen and if my au pair had that attitudes I'd sack her. If she nicely said, I can't do that I'd be fine. So much anger over a one off happening.

OP, I agree with Bobby as well...

Cremeeggsareforever · 01/03/2019 08:02

If your dog doesn't do it often then it's possible she didn't see it, because she wouldn't really have been looking for it. As an au pair it's not really part of her role to pick up dog shit in the early morning.

When I was younger and I stayed at my now DHs house, we were maybe about 18, his parents got a dog that would do huge loose poos in the kitchen. I was always the first downstairs and would not clean them up. DH gave me some stick for this but it eas in no way my dog so I should not have been expected to clean up after it.

I clean up after my own dogs, or anyone's that I am looking after.

lyralalala · 01/03/2019 08:02

Au pairs may do a bit of cleaning around the house, but that wouldn't normally extend to cleaning up after your dog. I don't know anyone who'd ask their AP to do that.

Tbh from the sound of it I'd assume she hadn't noticed in her rush to get out the door. Very few people would actually make a dog shit mess worse.

Honeyroar · 01/03/2019 08:05

Oh dear OP, the bitchy brigade woke up early this morning!

I think Bobby's response is good, but I'd add that opening the door makes a mess, to stress how important it is they tell you.

I also think it wouldn't have been a big deal for her to scoop it up, whether it's her responsibility or not. She's part of the family and it's not like you're asking her to do it as a daily task..

mydogisthebest · 01/03/2019 08:05

Well unless she didn't see it of course she should have picked it up. I don't understand posters making excuses for her. You would have to be pretty ignorant to open the door on it knowing it would then be on the door and, even worse, the brushes on the door.

She is used to nappies I assume if she is an au pair so a bit of dog poo is hardly going to hurt is it. In my experience dog poo is nowhere near as bad as some of the awful nappies I changed on my nieces and nephews

Drogosnextwife · 01/03/2019 08:06

Not her problem. You clean up after your own dog.

zzzzz · 01/03/2019 08:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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