To ask you what is the stupidest thing you have ever done?
I'll start:
When my kids were 3 and 18m (circa 10 yrs ago!) I took them camping. For those of you who like camping you will know that camping with tinies is nothing like camping pre-tinies. And when you're camping with kids all routine disappears. Their bedtime blends into your bedtime because they can't sleep because of the light night, because of the noise on the site, because the sleeping bag crinkles - anything in fact. Morning starts when the first bird dares to utter a tweet at 4am and you desperately try to clamp littlies mouths shut tight so as not to wake the whole site, whilst hiding through gritted teeth 'Go.Back.To.Sleep!!!'
Anyway, that's the background, which is very important as way of trying to explain why I did what followed.
By the second night everyone is exhausted from late nights and early mornings. Having eventually getting the kids to sleep I crawled into my own sleeping bag. It had been tough getting the 18m to sleep because there was a lot of noise on the site. As happens, I woke up in the middle of the night for a wee. I laid trying to ignore it, hoping to fall back to sleep. I absolutely did not want to risk waking the tinies. But the more I thought about it the more desperate I became. Eventually I just couldn't wait any longer. Like an army commando I navigated the exit of my sleeping bag without undoing the zip. Takes some doing I can tell you. Then I was faced with the zip of the tent bedroom door. I considered my options - unzip with one fell swoop like ripping a plaster off and risk waking the beasts sleeping angels or manoeuvre the zip painfully millimetre by millimetre. I ended up going for option 2. The noise was horrendous. The kids stirred, I held my breath, they rolled over and I continued. This was painstaking. Meanwhile my bladder was spasming from being so desperate. I made it with utter stealth into the main compartment of the tent, crawled around in the dark (no torch for fear of waking the kids) looking for my shoes. Then realised it was raining and the loos were far away. Suddenly a brainwave hit me. One of those light bulb moments of utter clarity... I could use one of DS's nappies to pee in, after all that's what they're for. I was so pleased with myself! Got myself into a suitable position to dtd. Oh I tell you it felt soooo good to finally be peeing. Everyone was still asleep. I hadn't had to go out into the rain. Win win situation. It felt so so good. Only readers, if you've made it this far, Children’s nappies are not made to hold adult volumes of wee. I only realised this in the pitch black silence as I felt warm wet pee flowing down my legs, all over my hands...Once I'd started I could not stop. Oh it was horrific! Basically the overflow was overflowing. All over the tent floor... it was like a bloody river! And I could not stop. Not for my life. I should stop now as I've waffled on. But you know what? The kids slept through the whole thing!