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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report my colleague?

101 replies

HeyNannyNanny · 27/02/2019 13:31

I work in a private household as a Nanny.
There are several chauffeurs but during the week my charge and I typically have the same one. He's lovely though he could potentially be awful and I wouldn't know as we don't share a common language.

I dread having to get into the car as it absolutely reeks of smoke. I'm not sure if he's smoking a particular kind of tobacco but the smell is very heavy and genuinely makes me feel nauseas every time we travel (spend about an hour or so in the car each day).
He never smokes in the car, but smokes outside of it and comes straight into the car after.

The smell is so bad it has made me sick several times (and I'm rarely sick, and not usually a princess about such things I swear) and I'm getting quite concerned about the air quality and the secondhand smoke risks for my charge.

The car never smells when my boss is being driven.

WIBU to have a word with the Mum/Dad (bosses) about this?

I hate the idea of snitching and he's obviously within his rights to smoke, and doesn't actually do it in the car or on the property but it truly is foul in that car.

Im worried he'll get in trouble and I'm selfishly worried about my relationship with him, as it'll be obvious who has said something and I have to see him every day.

OP posts:
PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 27/02/2019 13:33

Or alternatively you could ask him not to smoke?

not a princess, my arse

HeyNannyNanny · 27/02/2019 13:34

@PlainSpeakingStraightTalking missed the bit where I said we don't speak the same language?

OP posts:
LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 27/02/2019 13:34

You won't have any problems with secondhand smoke as its just himself smelling of stinky smoke. I'd just open the windows. The boss can't miss the fact that he is a smoker as he will whif of smoke.

Poor you - I cant stand the smell of smokers either and in the car it seems much worse.

flumpybear · 27/02/2019 13:35

Tell him, use the child as the reason, it's unfair to subject a child to heavy smoke smells - perhaps he doesn't realise?!

JumpOrBePushed · 27/02/2019 13:35

I’d speak to the chauffeur about it first, and ask him not to smoke straight before getting in the car - he might not realise how badly it smells to a non smoker.

I’d only consider having a word with your boss if nothing changes after you’ve spoken to the chauffeur yourself.

flumpybear · 27/02/2019 13:35

Somebody must speak the same language as him?

CallMeRachel · 27/02/2019 13:36

Can't you just hold up your phone with an image of a no smoking sign?

Though it sounds as if it's coming from his clothes rather than him smoking in the car there's probably not much you can do.

HeyNannyNanny · 27/02/2019 13:36

Ah I was under the impression that 2nd hand smoke was a hazard up to 30 mins afterwards? I must have got my info mixed up, I remember reading somewhere about not holding a baby until 30 mins after a cigarette

OP posts:
DiamondsInTheMud · 27/02/2019 13:37

Surely you must be able to communicate in some sort of way, he needs to know where youre going etc...

HeyNannyNanny · 27/02/2019 13:37

OK, well in which case it's just me (and to be fair my charge) not liking the smell.

I have no idea how to ask him without seeming really rude

OP posts:
HeyNannyNanny · 27/02/2019 13:39

Surely you must be able to communicate in some sort of way, he needs to know where youre going etc...

I am now excellent at interpretative mime plus he generally gets the instructions ahead of time from the other nanny (a native) who i could potentially ask to talk to him thinking about it.

OP posts:
LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 27/02/2019 13:39

He isn't breathing out the smoke fumes - its just stinking up his hair and clothes. I may be wrong but don't think its a health issue.

I would open the windows and see if that gives him a clue. Id be wary of going to the boss as you have to spend a lot of time enclosed with him (and I'm a wuss).

Missmother · 27/02/2019 13:40

I would have a nice word with the chauffeur and explain to him your concerns, he may well roll his eyes though and think that your just being an annoying non-smoker, be prepared for this.

JumpOrBePushed · 27/02/2019 13:42

Oh, I missed the bit about you not speaking the same language. Is there someone who can talk to him who could pass on a request about not smoking?

Missmother · 27/02/2019 13:42

Use google translate, for his language and type out your concerns, show him and see what happens.

How can you be expected to work together yet not speak each other’s languages?Confused

HeyNannyNanny · 27/02/2019 13:42

I would open the windows it's -15c here and they are REALLY weird about the cold in this culture, so opening the window would cause a whole other set of issues.

OP posts:
HeyNannyNanny · 27/02/2019 13:44

@Missmother I'm nervous about trying that as Google translate has got me in hot water before and basically I'm a massive wimp, I'd hate to offend him (and I'm aware talking to the boss would not avoid this)

OP posts:
Missmother · 27/02/2019 13:44

I have worked with people who have far colder winters than we have in the UK yet they always moan about our cold temoeraturesConfused they say ‘it’s a different type of cold’, they always have the heating up full blast in the staff room and it’s very annoying.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 27/02/2019 13:44

missed the bit where I said we don't speak the same language?

I’m sure you can make yourself under stood. but hey ho, lets report him, for doing nothing illegal or in breach of H&S, but lets see if we can get him spoken to sacked

You know, if you really aren’t capable of making an adult decision to communicate with a colleague, I'd have serious concerns about your ability to be in charge of children, I really would. Its an avoidance technique -trying to make an unrelated third party responsible for enacting your wishes.

Missmother · 27/02/2019 13:47

You’ll have to try Google translate though, what else can you do? Maybe bring up a no smoking sign and show him it?Confused

Again, how on earth are you expected to work together yet not no each other’s language?

Missmother · 27/02/2019 13:47

Know rather than noConfused

ReanimatedSGB · 27/02/2019 13:50

Sorry but you are being a bit precious and it is not your job to sneak on this man and try to cause trouble for him.

HeyNannyNanny · 27/02/2019 14:00

I'm not trying to cause trouble for him nor am I trying to get him sacked.

I am unable to communicate directly with him without offending him or being misunderstood.

I'm talking about having a quiet word with our "manager" about how the car is incredibly smelly when we are out with the child.
Something along the lines of "Child and I don't like the smell in the car when XXX has been smoking, is there anything we can do?"

Its a big leap to say that I'm trying to get someone sacked because they smell Confused

It's a very different culture here and I really can't see how I'd sensitively communicate to the chauffeur that his smoking is making the car smell considering that the only think I can say in his language is "yes, no, please" , goodbye," apple" and, weirdly, "appendix"

As for how we communicate at work, in short we don't. Someone else tells him where we are going (the routine is the same each day though) and I use pointing and my hands (and smiling, though less of this since I've learned that smiling here is seen as weird) to indicate where and when we are picked up.

OP posts:
Missmother · 27/02/2019 14:03

Can I ask what country your in, and whose the minority language out of you and your chauffeur?

Tomtontom · 27/02/2019 14:03

Is smoking accepted as the norm in your country? If so it makes it far more difficult to address.

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