IAB completely U but let me rant?

[Findingthingstough18]

I am a spoilt, horrid brat but I need to rant!

I am on holiday (in an absolutely beautiful part of the country with unexpectedly gorgeous weather) with DH, DS (7 months) and my PIL. Who are lovely. But DS is waking up every 90 minutes at night (I think maybe teeth, but maybe he just hates the travel cot, who knows? - Calpol isn't helping if it is teeth) and because we're all in one room DH and I can't take shifts like we do with his shit sleep at home. I am beyond tired (so is DH, too, obviously). This morning I had to get up with DS at 5am and then try and entertain him very quietly so I didn't wake up PIL for 3.5 fucking hours. I am finding my objectively lovely, kind PIL - who paid for this holiday and are generally generous, nice and adore DS with a fierce passion - beyond irritating. DS refuses to be spoonfed and so we're doing a reluctant form of baby-led weaning - PIL are being very vocal about how this is the Source Of All The Problems (the new one, since I gave up breastfeeding and it turned out giving him a bottle was not the answer to all) and it's stressing me out massively, partially because I think deep down they're right: he isn't getting enough solids to eat and I don't know how to solve it. But also because I am tired tired tired, a massive ungrateful cow and a grumpy horrible person. I also think I may be on the verge of getting my first post-partum period, which would be a real cherry on the cake.

DH told me to excuse myself and pretend I have work to do today so I could get out of the daytrip and come and drink coffee by myself in the nearest town (no wifi at holiday cottage), I think because he could tell I was in such a grump that I was at risk for ruining things for everyone. Which made me feel incredibly guilty, but I still can't shake myself out of this childish sulk. Does someone want to hand me a grip, a little bit of (pretty undeserved) sympathy or even some actual advice?!

If they're going on a day trip, don't leave the house! Sneak back and get some sleep!

I'm with whoever said holidays with babies are shit.

This is yet another of the surprise 'gifts' that come with children. No more good holidays. If they aren't sick, grumpy or unable to sleep due to being over-excited then they are spontaneously terrified of airports or desperately missing their friends or the curtains in their bedroom.

grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I could have written your post on one extended family holiday holiday when ds was about 18 months old. The hours and hours of entertaining him on my own and we were in France and I couldn't even switch the TV on in the background for company- no cable TV. Everybody else was having a nice time. Aghh.

You have my full and utmost sympathy. Rant away. And take the opportunities your DH is offering you without guilt.

I agree with the other posters who have said it might be the mattress - or lack of it - in the travel cot. Please try extra padding!

I had the same thing with DD at 8 months old, waking every 90 mins on holiday. Added a single duvet as extra padding and lo and behold, she was back to normal that night.

You can get folding foam mattresses for travel cots in Argos. Ds had his best sleep ever on one!

Use pitta bread / toast strips or rice cake or chips to use as a 'spoon' for purees or dips or mashed foods... Worked for me better than a spoon...

OP - if you are worried about iron, cook steak or pork chops, cut into strips and then give (cool). Both of mine loved gnawing on strips of meat from 6months old (and the oldest wouldn't be spoon fed in any case).

There's a lot more iron in strips of meat than carrot mush!

There is no need to feed mush at all - from 6months we were feeding ours strips of meet, whole roasted carrots and sliced (lengthways) roasted parsnip etc - roasting is good as it cooks the veggies whilst leaving them structurally sound enough for babies to grasp and eat. Broccoli is also great at the stem stays fairly firm while top is softer.

YANBU.You're not ungrateful or unreasonable, just exhausted. Get some rest - and could PIL take baby for a walk for a couple of hours so both of you can get a bit of a break? And 5 of you in one room sounds a nightmare too. The idea of going to the settee sounds good.

My two eldest were dreadful sleepers and I was always tired; when DD, my third, was born I was older and more experienced and I just took her to bed with me. that way we both got some kip and she was much easier in the day time as well. It was frowned upon in some quarters but not in others - but I don't know if it's considered a terrible thing to do these days!

I’m coming out in full sympathy with you OP. I’m not on holiday but the weather is blissful here and DD is, quite frankly, a bloody nightmare. Last night was her best night for a while and she “went to bed” at 7, woke at 8.30, 10, 12.30, 2.30 and then every 45 minutes after that until I sacked it off and got up at 5.30 with her and immersed myself in some eventually tepid coffee. She had a few nights last week where she went to sleep at 7.30 and didn’t wake until 3. She’s 12 months old and I don’t even need all the fingers on one hand to count how many times that has happened. She still got up at 5.30 though. Anyway you have my sympathy in bucketloads- lack of sleep is unbearable and it just makes me hate everyone else. I want to go back in time to me pre-kids and slap myself when I moaned about being tired then. I didn’t know what tired was until DD taught me. Now I’m not even sure I could do a whole night asleep if I tried...!

My DS didn’t drink much milk at all until I started weaning him. Then I think he was similar to your DS as he was doing baby led weaning while I was doing traditional weaning with mushy stuff on a spoon. Obviously this is when he started to drink full bottles of milk. As he was my second DC, I decided I didn’t care too much about the detail as long as he was getting a bit of different food in him.
With DD, I’m not sure how many months she was but we used to give her tiny squares of toast so she’d open her mouth and then I’d put a spoon of food in.
Honestly, one day they’ll eat loads of things and you’ll laugh about this time! (I hope!)

It's so hard when they're little and won't sleep. You have my sympathy You're doing a great job so keep up the good work. Don't give yourself a hard time: being kind to yourself and each other is so important at this time.

1. Agree on getting better mattress for travel cot

1. I had a ‘no audience when eating ’ rule when my children were small. GPS watching is a nightmare.

1. Buggy nap with GPs in charge?

We're home! DS finally, on the last night of the holiday, slept better (awake twice and up at 6.30, which is average to good for him) - hoping he doesn't take an age to settle back into his own cot now! PIL were really, really lovely and took DS out for a long walk yesterday so that both DH and I could sleep AND sent us out for our first post-baby 'date' (by which I mean '90 minutes exactly sat in a pub talking about DS until I insisted that we go back because he was bound to have woken up distraught while we were gone' - he hadn't) last night, and something in the combination of the two refreshed me a bit. Turned out I was getting my first post-partum period, though - but no cramps (?!), hurrah!

Anyway, thank you for all the support and encouragement as I came to the slow but clear realisation that going on holiday with a baby is a bit shit - expectations firmly readjusted for next time!