What's the smallest amount you'd make someone pay you back?

[Teatimeted]

Interested to hear opinions on this as there have been several examples over the past few weeks, and normally to do with Uber but other things too...

Three of us split an Uber. Other two in a couple. I asked friend to let me know how much I owed her. Next day she messaged to say could I transfer £3.50

Friend called me an Uber from her house. Gave me £5 toward it (we'd had to change plans as her babysitter cancelled so I traveled across town to see her) then messaged to say it was £7.50

Met friend for dinner. She got there first and ordered and paid for bottle of wine. I tried to give her half (roughly £10) but she refused, so I said I'd pay next time

Which of those situations, if you were the other party, would you expect the money back? All? None? What's the minimum you'd expect a friend to pay back? Or would you ask/expect all outlay on your behalf to be repaid?

(For context, I'm not a freeloader! These are just recent examples. The first Uber was because they had the postcode of the restaurant and the second because my phone had died)

I’d take the taxis on the chin as I’d be embarrassed to ask for the payments - if it was a one off.

However - id always offer if I owed it.

I’d happily except the bottle of wine.

However - I organise a lot of stuff for my friends eg.. they give me deposits, money toward group taxi ect.. and it’s getting a fucking faff because I always end up out of pocket. Especially with the ones that have way more money than me where I have to ask them half way through the night. One of my friends owes me a tenner and has just ‘forgot about it’ I know it’s not a lot but she is loaded. It’s pocket change to her. Probably why she feels she doesn’t have to pay it back! - but I still won’t ask for it as I dont want to embarrass us both.

Never under £10!! I’d just always do the same as the friend with the wine- one pays this time, the other the next. Exception being if, for example you go for coffee, and it’s your turn to pay but friend decides she’s having lunch, or similar.

None in all of those situations unless friend was a CF who pulled similar stunts all of the time.

I see friendship and paying things as a cycle. I don’t keep track but will pay a turn and they will pay the next time etc. However even then it wouldn’t matter as I’d rather pay if it meant I could have a nice time with friends rather than be at home on my own.

Only if they specifically asked me for money for something with a promise to pay it back would I expect it but would also not worry about it if I didn’t get it back IYSWIM and that’s only because I’m a firm believer in not lending what you can’t afford to lose

It depends on how skint I was at the time. If it was my last few quid and a ways to pay day, all of them

If it wasn't - none of them (which is my ideal situation)

None of the amounts are morally wrong OP, it may seem tight but they may really need £3 or whatever - we dont know their financials

Like a previous poster, I'm often the one booking tickets, organising trips, sorting out plans etc so I actually ask for every single £ back nowadays as I was getting so skint from all the £5 and £10 adding up!

Thanks all - it's not that I think it's tight, I'm just one of those "oh god no, don't worry about it" type people and I was interested to know if others were the same or not. And if not, is that why I'll never live in a big huge house

I agree on big group bookings as your organising and fronting the cost often ends with you being out of pocket. I'm very much "let me know exactly how much I owe you" but I worry that puts the onus on the other person, then when they don't reply, I can't settle my debt!!

Yes it can be tricky can't it, because equally when people say no dont worry about it, that makes me feel awkward as I know that financially I can't reciprocate so I'd rather pay them back .

I wouldn't expect to be asked for money in any of these situations. I would just offer to pay for the next uber/buy the next drinks. I think if these are friends that you see all the time it will eventually work out equally.

With my friends I would ask for money towards an uber if it's more than £10pp (we'd usually just split via the app but understand this doesn't work when phones die) but never ask for money for just the one drink I'd bought someone.

£10

I’m one of these people who will put my hand in my pocket, but feel uncomfortable about asking for money back, or reminding people I paid last time, so now if I’m booking something, or paying in advance for other people, I’ll make sure I get all the money on the nose. If it’s a drink or lunch I’ll offer to pay, which I don’t mind, but I won’t offer again before it’s reciprocated. I’ve known a few people, some who have a lot more money than I do, who consistently forget about the last two times I’ve bought them a pint, or paid for their Spoons, so I stick to my rule now. Some people genuinely forget, some people conveniently forget, and some just blatantly take the piss.

I feel uncomfortable in these situations. I insist on paying back to the penny and find it awkward when others do not. Because of this, it is not always equal, I end up always paying more and it does make me very uncomfortable.

I never get myself (if I can help it) into a situation where anyone has to pay me back. I always let someone else pay for the taxi and I will transfer them my share etc. This arrangement works because people know they can rely on me to pay. It can't always be avoided tho!

I like to be paid back every penny but if someone owes me for a small about I will wait until they owe me more and ask for it in a larger sum.

I don't have any financial transactions with friends.

The thing is that now we usually pay each other back by bank transfer, it's just as quick and easy to do for any amount of money. So whereas in the past I wouldn't have bothered asking for £3.50 and having to remember it next time I saw her, scrabble around for change etc, now I probably would.

I think it depends on various factors, but primarily on:

• how poor/wealthy you are
• your relationship to the other person
• how likely that it will be reciprocated

All of them. If money is owed, it's owed. I would never not pay someone back, and nor do I borrow money from friends.

I tend to think if it's less than a fiver it's not something I expect to be paid back unless of course it's a big group thing or someone who regularly gets but doesn't give. That said I have one friend who would, and has, asked for a quid back. I always request payment for anything back as she's quite tight and is unlikely to buy something in return to even things out. And it bugs me to think I always pay back anything to her rather than just turn taking. Alternatively I have one friend who we never expect money back from each other and regular buy each other little bits at the shop or lunch etc.

I've just read that back and it sounds like I begrudge paying her back, which I don't. I just begrudge paying back low amounts instead of just turn taking (ie I'll get this cuppa and you the next) in general because I CBA finding the right change lol

I always want small change back because I pay for almost everything by card, so don't have it otherwise.

So yes, I will lend you 20p for the vending machine, but I'd appreciate it if you could bung me 20p back the next time you have change.

If it’s more than £1 I’d offer it/expect it back.

Usually I say taxis, wine, take aways etc I’d just get or friends would and we don’t expect money back.

If I’d actually lent anything £20 or over I’d expect it back.

We organise a Christmas meal every year for all our friends and this year I’ve said I’m not doing it, or if we do I want deposits upfront as it’s always ‘oh I’ll bring you my £10 deposit in the night’ and we only ever get about half back which is a farce when there’s 20 of us there. Someone else can take the reigns this year.

MAKE them?

My insistence would depend on whether they had form for taking advantage

A "friend" never paid me for concert tickets but someone took the ticket off my hands
I felt bad because they didn't enjoy the concert but did me a favour.

I think the most I would give someone and not expect it back is £40 and I can say that because I gave someone who I knew couldn't pay me back that amount but couldn't have given more

I do have a vulnerable friend who is prone to take the piss financially but she was exclusively raised by a layabout permabroke father from whom I think she got a certain learned behaviour around if you can get away with not paying your way - don't

Probably less than a fiver. But if it were someone constantly doing it i’d probably say something once it reached a tenner.

My boss was owe me 3.50. He kept reminding me he owed me it. I kept telling him it wasn’t a problem. He went on about it so much and it was embarrassing. I don’t think he ever paid me back.

Now: I’m pretty lax, as long as no-one takes the piss I’m happy to have a general ‘you/I will pay next time’ approach.
10 years ago I had a weekly disposable income of £25 after bills, not including food. I didn’t even dress down for work on a Friday because I couldn’t pay the £2 ‘donation’. If someone had have loaned 50p back then I would have asked for it back.
I never judge as don’t know people’s finances.

In those situations none. I know people who genuinely would need £3 back though so I’d just pay and