What's the smallest amount you'd make someone pay you back?

[Teatimeted]

Interested to hear opinions on this as there have been several examples over the past few weeks, and normally to do with Uber but other things too...

Three of us split an Uber. Other two in a couple. I asked friend to let me know how much I owed her. Next day she messaged to say could I transfer £3.50

Friend called me an Uber from her house. Gave me £5 toward it (we'd had to change plans as her babysitter cancelled so I traveled across town to see her) then messaged to say it was £7.50

Met friend for dinner. She got there first and ordered and paid for bottle of wine. I tried to give her half (roughly £10) but she refused, so I said I'd pay next time

Which of those situations, if you were the other party, would you expect the money back? All? None? What's the minimum you'd expect a friend to pay back? Or would you ask/expect all outlay on your behalf to be repaid?

(For context, I'm not a freeloader! These are just recent examples. The first Uber was because they had the postcode of the restaurant and the second because my phone had died)

I think it depends on who the friend is/how well you know them/their financial situation. With friends I go out with often we just vaguely take turns buying coffee, and it wouldn’t bother me if I bought two in a row. But I have another acquaintance who I have to see occasionally for work purposes and she’s never offered to buy the coffee! Seen her 3 times in the last 8 months and I’ve bought the drinks each time, and that bugs me.

Ditto think its relative to the relationship, current wealth etc. I almost feel embarrassed when people insist on giving me under a fiver back. If I do that to someone else I try and justify it, like saying I'll pay for the parking as you paid for that. That way it feels less transactional. The problem is with smaller amounts, and this may be true of other people, is that I just sometimes forget that I borrowed, or lent, it. Must try harder. As a general rule I agree I'd expect a tenner back. If it was twenty or more I'd probably feel comfortable asking for it back.

It depends who it is really.

I have a friend I won’t lend anything to because I never see it back. With her I make sure we pay for everything 50/50 including paying in halves in the pub, or I always end up massively out of pocket. I learned from experience I will never see the money otherwise. It’s a simple solution to prevent falling out.

But I also have friends that are reciprocal with money so the coffees, nights out etc are just I’ll pay next time kind of thing, except if there’s tickets for things involved in which case we pay for our own. So if we go to the theatre, we each pay for our tickets as they’re usually expensive but meals/drinks will probably be on the it’s my turn basis.

I also have a friend who is so hung up on paying her way that I can’t treat her to anything! It genuinely distresses her to not pay. For instance I bought us some tickets for something that cost me £3 each. I didnt want the money back. She was saying oh I’ll get dinner then, which obviously isn’t proportionate so I had to let her give me the £3 back.

I have set friends i wouldn't ask for money off as were very much swings and roundabouts and hes been so nice to my dh in the past we can afford it so would take it on the chin - obviously if it was a significant amount say we paid for flights or something so we could put it on one booking we would ask.
Other people a drink here or there fine.
Work associates i would ask for all money back sadly not talking a15p drink from the machine or anything but many are not friends.

Im usually a "don't worry about it person". My friends and I usually take turns

Last weekend two friends and I took our kids somewhere, I booked the tickets which were £6 per child, my child and 3 others, it was the weekend before pay day and when they offered me the money I took it as I had very little in my account but usually I'd swallow the cost then and someone would probably pay for lunch or something else (we had a picnic that day so no cost there)

A woman contacted me on eBay to tell me that the postage for the item I'd bought from her cost an extra 70p and she wanted it back. I said yes, fine no problem but I was really busy and genuinely forgot. So then next time I checked into eBay maybe 2 or 3 days later I had a few messages from her. The last one saying that she had trusted me, I had let her down and that until I paid her back she would message me every day to remind me what an evil person I was. I decided to wait a few more days then to see if she did and she did!!!!! I obviously paid it back. But wow!!!!!

I’m someone that just loathes situations like this as I’m very much a neither a borrower or lender be. I am not a taker of cabs, I actually cant remember the last time I was in. Only with work occasionally and they obviously paid. I treat people sometimes but I prefer 50/50. If someone is hard up e.g my sisters I would never expect them to pay at all. It does mean on some family lunches I have paid for about eight lunches.

Under a fiver - never!

I usually only pay or get paid for by good friends and we do balance it out.
But I'm one of those who if I text a friend to meet me at costa for coffee I would then expect to pay (they don't expect it though iyswim?).

Same as if we are out and I go to get coffee or whatever I'd always ask who wanted one.

Personally o think it depends on personal finances. A fiver here and there isn't a worry for me nowadays.

10 years ago £1 would have mattered as I counted every penny and would have known exactly what that would buy me in the supermarket!

Usually under a fiver. So for example I'll happily buy a friend the odd coffee or something.

That might seem tight to some but I'm on a pretty strict budget right now and I regularly only have about £10 petty cash to spend per week after paying for bills and groceries.

My richest friends are always the ones who forget to pay me back.

My policy on this is different each way.

• If I've shared something, I offer to pay half and do so whenever that is accepted, however small the amount. I try really hard to be neutral about this, but if I know someone to be living a really luxurious lifestyle (massive house, multiple foreign holidays, massive car etc) I find it hard not to be a bit if they are bothering about £3.50.

• I don't ask others to pay half unless it's quite a lot. And then I would use a bit of discretion. If I know a mate is having a rough time financially, and I'm not, I will try to do a bit extra (get the bottle of wine with a meal or buy an extra round of drinks, or not charge petrol when we're driving all of us to a weekend away - you know, little things that you can do without bringing the subject of money up). Another friend is incredibly wealthy, so I wouldn't necessarily do the same for her.

I would ask for anything over a fiver tbh - I don't have much disposable income right now. I wouldn't bother asking for £3.50 for a taxi tho.. A coffee or a drink in a pub, I would just expect that they bought it next time.

Everyone I know would pay the smallest amount back,but its up to the loaner if they accept it back or wave it off. I did notice when working for the v v wealthy in corporate world, they seemed to think people wrote off up to £20, hence my friend stopping going to get Friday team sweets as she never got paid for them. Boss most taken aback when told why.

My richest friends are always the ones who forget to pay me back.

Which is why they are rich ...

Since this is AIBU, I'll probably be burned alive (after being skinned alive ) but small change lending is a great proxy for character.

Friends and family I generally don't bother asking for the money back unless it's over a tenner. I know I'll get the money back in return at some point.

Work colleagues is another matter. There are only so many of us who drive in the office, so it's always us who nip out to the shops at break time. And always us who get asked to pick up bits and pieces. Frankly I'm getting a bit peeved of being the only one who actually gets milk and biscuits and I refuse to be out of pocket paying for it all as well.

It depends on the person who owed it. If the person owing was a penny pincher then I’d ask for anything over a fiver, but generally nothing under £20.

I wouldn't ask for money back if it was a small amount or a one off type thing.
That said my so called net friend at the time owes me £300. Plus I spent 4 hours travelling each way to go and give it to her. Not a penny have I seen back. She promised she'd pay me back, I asked nicely as it's a lot of money (i was a student at the time). She ignored me and then said I'd have to speak to another of her family members about it but could I imagine how embarrassed they'd be if they knew she'd asked for that money to start with? (She basically never told her family she asked me for any money and I knew her family well and got on with them). In the end I let it go as it dragged on for months and I couldn't be bothered anymore.

When I’m ok for money I wouldn’t ask for anything under a tenner back. When things were tight I had to ask a friend for £3 and she was so horrible about it despite knowing I desperately needed it. Some people may be doing it because they are right but I think it’s better to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that it’s because they need it.

It would depend how often it happened and who.

I regularly buy my friend £4 costa's when we go out and would say I pay double the amount of times she does. I don't mind.

However at work we take turns in doing the coffee run on weekdays. There are 6 of us but one doesnt drive and she lives 2 mins from the office. So the other 5 of us take turns to go to mcdonalds for coffee on our way into work one day each. You pay for the 6 coffees on your day and then get "free" coffees the other 4 days. However this girl is getting free coffees every day. Same whenever we order office food in - everyone else will pay and she just sits there. She never offers money. She has also ordered avon and things through some of the ladies in the office and never paid them for it. Everyone moans about the coffee situation behind her back but wont say anything.... So I always ask her for her £1.50 on my coffee day. I've done it for around 3 months now and I STILL have to ask. I do it out of principal as shes a CF who freeloads. I wouldnt mind if she maybe brought in a box of chocolates every month or some office biscuits - but she doesnt. Shes getting £7.50 worth of free drinks a week. Doesnt sound much but thats actually £78 a year shes saving.

So it depends who it is, if they have form and how they usually treat money situations with me.

...she was also the one who was sick the day of the (optional) secret santa gift giving in 2016 and 2017 but text other staff members asking them to "bring my gift home with you and I will grab it over the holidays". Never brought her gift in for the other person. So last year we scrapped it.

My mum printed some stuff for me at the library and told me I owed her 40p for it?! So im surprised by these comments, and no I dont ever borrow money off her (or anyone really) so it wasnt a regular thing.

I have two friends I lived with at uni.

One of them is cost-conscious, and will split everything to the last penny. Even when I've got drinks in for when they visit etc, they'll ask how much I spent and want to split the cost of dinner/breakfast etc. I only really twigged the other month that when I stay with them, I just take for granted that breakfast etc is included, and feel guilty for not offering now - but I always refuse anything when they visit us, obviously.

The other is just a right little madam. She thinks that because we earn well that it's fair for us to subsidise them, never paid me back for a weekend shop for all six of us (three couples - she didn't help with tidying etc even though I also provided my parents holiday home for free), never offers a split, assumes we'll cover the cost of things. Oh and she's rude.

I'd love to ditch her,,, My problem being that these two women are also close friends and live in the same city! My absolutely lovely friend would be hurt and confused if I wanted to cut ties.

It depends who it is, I think. I did something for a friend a few months ago (made something personalised, it took me hours, a late night, that sort of thing) and said £30 for the cost of materials. She's yet to pay me back, and keeps saying "oh gosh I've forgotten all about that money again. So sorry."

I haven't chased her for it, I just won't be doing it for her again when she asks.

With most others we come and go with each other, I wouldn't think about asking for money back for coffees or taxis (unless it was a seriously high bill!)

I would probably expect someone to pay back £20, maybe £10 would be the minimum I would ask for back.

I remember a friend at Uni that I owed £1 to making sure I paid the £1 back very quickly- it's just a bit daft really unless you're on the bread line.

unlikely under 10 pounds your friends are hella cheap i would feel embarrassed to ask someone for 3.50 for a cab ride

when we go out someone gets the cab, then drinks or tips nobody sits there with a calculator tabbing up everything if i had friends like that i wouldnt go out with them