OH and Op and worried

[howwillwedeal]

DH since I've know him (36 years) has probably had in total 10 days sick from work. He's lucky blessed with good health.

However, he now needs a serious ankle operation and will be off for around 7-8 months.

I feel terrified and I don't know why, but I just do.....it's going to be so different for him and I'm worried how he'll cope, how I'll cope. I'm petrified this will lead to something else and he won't go back etc etc. I'm worried he'll get depressed and how he'll not be bored all day!

Please calm me down and tell me soonest done, soonest mended and it'll all be fine and he'll be free of pain in the future.

I'm normally extremely calm and level headed but this has sent me into a right frenzy!

You may be panicking slightly but you're right to identify potential issues with this.

My lovely ex pil almost divorced when he retired because he was driving mil bonkers! Went from working 8-10 hour days to being literally at her feet all bloody day she couldn't even go Drs alone! They are the most laid back, loving couple but honestly he was lucky there was no patio!! 😂😂

Eventually she blew up at him and told him he needed to back off, he was all hurt at first and it was looking a bit precarious then his sister told mil "build him a shed and get him a hobby" she'd been through same with her husband. He now happily spends hours building "experiments" a la Wallace & grommit, occasionally he'll come up with something useful.

Keep him busy and feeling useful. He can do all the online shopping, budgets, meal planning, family calendar administration, switching all your bills to cheapest option, helping any kids/grandkids with homework, even some gardening stuff sorting seedlings etc

Fun stuff - mn? Reddit, Netflix, reading, puzzles, computer games, jigsaws, crafts (doesn't have to be knitting/sewing/crochet though I know men that do there's also felting, rug making etc)

www.instructables.com/id/Manly-Crafts-1/

Bookbinding, whittling etc

Who in your circle is around when you're at work that maybe can keep him company (if he wants)? Cheerful, practical, upbeat types preferably.

Also probably obvious but he needs to watch his diet, not only to avoid too much weight gain but to make sure he's getting good nutrition to aid recovery, focus on protein, calcium and fibre (sudden reduction in mobility can also slow the bowel, plus depending what meds he's on they could have constipation as side effect. I'd recommend getting a gentle laxative in just in case)

You might find he's tired for longer than you're expecting too, sleep = healing so if he beats himself up over having naps etc remind him of that.

Also even before he can weight bear there are still some exercises he can do and that not only aids physical health but mental too.

Watch for pressure areas developing, he's not just not weight bearing on his leg he WILL be weight bearing instead elsewhere and fear of pain can make patients reluctant to shift positions as often as they should.

Use the aids you're given/recommended like grabbers and pull rails, the last thing you need is either of you incurring injuries from trying to manage heroically when there's no need.

Good luck with it all.

Hi OP. I've been off for 9 months with my first broken leg, 3 with my second, and 3 with my tib pos repair. All the above suggestions are good, but I'd like to add this: don't let him screw up his sleep pattern. It's really easy to stay up late, and then sleep in so as not to get in the way during the morning routine. It took me years to fix it.

@Purpleheadgirl thanks for the practical advice!

@Nickpan we look forward to retirement, it's more that he'll be immobile or limited movement that's worrying us.

I echo the advice further up the thread about the knee scooter. It is possible to use as long as the cast doesn't come up too high and it certainly works with the boot. It revolutionised my life when I broke my ankle as it gave me back so much of the independence that I had lost - I am slightly evangelical about them now!

PM me if you want more details of who I hired mine through.

Sounds like he had a similar op to me. Took me a good year to recover! I read a lot of books! As long as his mind is busy he'll be fine.

@HotelRedFace I'll PM.

@SongforSal once you were recovered were you pleased you'd had the OP?

The fact that he will have it in a cast / in a boot won't mean that he'll be immobile. He can get a knee scooter and zoom around the place like a kid . He'll soon work out what he can and can't do - I'm sure he won't be watching Netflix and doing jigsaws for 8 months.

www.strideon.co.uk/

I've just looked on FB selling page, loads of knee scooters for sale. Which is brilliant!

Get one! You and he won't regret it! Mine had a little basket on the front and a cup holder so I was able to go in the kitchen, heat up food, put it into a Tupperware and take it and a drink back into the lounge rather than having to eat and drink where I had prepared it. It also provided me with a footrest to elevate my leg onto if we were out and about and I was sat in a cafe, in the park, etc. I genuinely credit mine with saving my sanity!

@howwillwedeal, colleague is almost a year in and he'd doing okay. He was told it could take up to a year for it to feel 'normal'. Yes a single fusion is quite a long recovery too. My consultant told me that my other two joints will probably go in time too and they could just do a triple rather than single. I said absolutely no way. Touch wood I'm fine at the moment and use an air splint if I feel I need it eg exercise.

If you have a walk in shower get a shower stool or chair and yes he will need the waterproof sleeve for his leg. If the time comes for me to have mine done I will having it done over the winter!

Ii was told by my Dr's that total healing time would be a year and a half after the triple Arthrodesis (2015)and so it was. That being said my ankle was in an awful mess with massive osteophytes surrounding the whole joint My foot was at an angle and I could not put it flat on the ground for years and could only walk in high heels . .It is not perfect now and the swelling persists and still feels somewhat tender at times but I can manage to at least go for a walk and look after my house etc.I really miss wearing nice shoes though.Skechers are the only shoes for me now.Don't think that will bother your husband though OP .I would not have that knee scooter in the non weight bearing stage though.For that stage he just has to be a good patient and stay on the sofa .Otherwise the fusion may not take place and a malfusion is not always correctable.