Relative sending out pictures of DS without my permission. Am I being petty?

[Februaryblooms]

I was out with my DM and aunt for dinner today and my aunt asked me to show her how to do something on her WhatsApp.

As I opened the app I saw she'd been sending photos of my DS to another relative who I'm estranged from and want nothing to do with, another aunt.

I was accused of doing something daft by this aunt which I didn't do, when I was a child of 15 (supppsedly slagging off a cousin on social media - i didn't actually do it though and never saw any evidence that anything of the sort even happened!)

As a result I was torn to shreds by this aunt, disowned, ostreocized and never acknowledged again. She was utterly vile to me so as far as I'm concerned it's good riddance.

I haven't spoken to this relative in over ten years and have no desire to after how I was treat, I'm told that the feeling is mutual.

So AIBU to be annoyed that my aunt (the one i do have a relationships with) is sending her photos and updates of my DC, no doubt telling her all my business and private life in the process.

Or am I being petty?

My DS is an extension of me and as she was so vile toward me I don't feel as though she has a right to know anything about him and his life just because they are distantly related.

I 100% understand this.

I'd be furious at the aunt you're still in touch with tbh- she's not sharing that I for about your son and his developmental review because she knows NC Aunt would be concerned for his welfare, is she? She's using that information as currency.

It's true that she isn't sharing the info about DS because she thinks other aunt will be concerned for his welfare, she absolutely is using it as currency.

@5foot5 I am a bit upset about that if I'm honest, but I'd never try to come between my DM and her sisters.

In an ideal world my aunt wouldn't discuss me or DS with the other aunt full stop but as PPs have rightly highlighted I can't police their conversations I think the very least I can expect is for local aunt to accept my wishes and not send any more pictures of DS and discuss our private business with her.

But DS isn't you or even an extension of you. I think you're being unreasonable to expect two aunts to pretend you don't exists and to never speak about your DS.

That's fair enough I respect your opinion.

I'm still very much hurt by how I was treat by this relative so obviously it is compounding my emotional response.

I asked DM (who's also fairly close to the other sister) whether she asks about him or has shown any interest and she said sadly not no.

As a mum I would have glossed over it. I couldn't have responded in that way. As pp said I'd have said something to the effect of 'fuck her, she's my sister but she's horrible.' But that depends if the fallout was as cut and dried as portrayed here, which it rarely, rarely is.