to be furious at this?

[noseywhatsit]

Just for background: My DD (10) is currently going through puberty, has had major growth spurts and is currently 8st 3Ibs and 5 foot.

A couple of month ago, her school had brought in a team to weigh the pupils and we didn’t receive feedback until a couple of weeks ago. In the letter they had sent home, they’d claimed that DD was overweight! I can very clearly see that she isn’t. This has made me feel really disgusted that they’re body shaming children! I have an older daughter who faced her own body issues during early teenage years and it was heartbreaking to see how it was affecting her emotionally and mentally. Am I wrong for thinking that they shouldn’t be throwing around claims like this when so many people, especially children and teens are dealing with eating disorders and mental health issues? I can’t help but think that they shouldn’t be throwing so much of the tax payers money into something like this when there’s so much more the NHS could do with that money, i.e. better mental health facilities for those who desperately need the medical intervention.

People carry weight in all different areas. So no I don't think you can say an 8 stone 3 child is necessarily overweight just based on these 2 things.

Because a 10 year old should not weigh as much as a fully grown adult maybe.

@ShadyLady53 because when you are 10yrs old your body is not going to be as broad as it will be when you're an adult, hence why an adult of the same height is naturally heavier than that of a 10yr old child.

I don't understand the reactions to these letters. They often seem to pop up on Facebook with mothers outraged that their little darlings could be classed as overweight. They haven't just looked at your kid and decided, they have weighed and measured them. Your child is too heavy for their height, it's quite simple. Its amazing in a country with such a high rate of childhood obesity that parents are so blind.

My daughter is being weighed soon at school. If it comes back that she is overweight I will adjust her diet and exercise. They aren't doing it to hurt your child's feelings, they are simply trying to encourage you to keep your child at a healthy weight.

Sounds like my sister in law who ignored her kids weight for years. The older one has just had a heart attack. This is the first generation where kids are more at risk of dying before the parents. Sad. We have become too accustomed to thinking overweight is the norm!

I know plenty of friends who reached their adult height and weight at 12 years old. I was a bit older but was always my adult weight at my adult height. I never grew up then out later which is what the children's bmi calculator seems to expect.

According to the NHS BMI calculator, your child is overweight.
www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/bmi-calculator/

If you put these figures in as an adult, it shows as a healthy weight. The two results can't compare.

ShadyLady, surely the two medical professionals you're sat with would know that the calculations will give different results depending on the age of the person 🤔?

OP, the letter came to you, not your daughter. She has not been 'body shamed'. You have been informed that she is overweight in comparison with other children the same age and height as she is. You note that she is developing hips and breasts as if that explains the weight. Actually, the weight of a girl has a direct impact on when they begin puberty. Girls with a higher BMI are more likely to start puberty earlier than those with lower BMIs.

I suspect that your sport has more to do with it than your weight. My BMI is currently 19-20 and I train 6-7 days a week- if I exercise really hard I miss periods and/or the timing goes haywire.

I think it's this too. I have a BMI of 17 and still get regular periods, whereas a friend of mine (BMI of 20) who trains for a couple of hours a day during competition season doesn't get them at all some months.

ShadyLady, surely the two medical professionals you're sat with would know that the calculations will give different results depending on the age of the person 🤔?

If you scroll up the thread, this has already been asked and answered a few times.

That's a lot more than I weighed at that age, I was under 7stone and 5-5'4 until I was 15. She's a child remember, she shouldn't be weighed as though she is a woman (higher fat, hips and breasts).

Your daughter has not been body shamed. You have been sent a letter addressed to you. Your daughter need know nothing about it. It's your call if you share it with her. Don't blame the school and don't blame the NHS.

Of course they can only go by statistical averages. Personally I would see it as an early warning that I needed to make sure my child kept to a healthier diet for the next six months or so. While she's still at primary it's much easier to control what she eats without making a fuss about it. The whole family can go on a 'health kick' i.e. more veg, ditching sweets, sugary cereal and cereal bars.

Because a 10 year old should not weigh as much as a fully grown adult maybe.

Surely that depends on where they are in relation to puberty?

I had an early puberty (periods started at 10yrs 5 months), was very tall for my age and had 34c tits while still in primary. I was 5'5" in primary school (taller than all the children and a lot of the teachers), but only grew another inch and stopped growing at 12. My tits remained 34c for another 20 years.

Physically, I was no more adult at 30 than I was at 11. Using standard "child" criteria is nonsensical for children who have an early puberty.

I think the issue is that her daughter's puberty is quite advanced so her body is more womanly and therefore not really comparable.
If it's worked out as a centile, there's not many other kids who are as advanced into puberty at 10.

Because a 10 year old should not weigh as much as a fully grown adult maybe.

It's difficult, though, because some children really do hit puberty early and have amazing height on them by age 10. DS13 is over 6 foot tall and still growing. He was easily 5 foot by age 10 and I'm sure would have been overweight for his age cohort (despite being terribly long-limbed and slim just as the rest of the family are).

It's not as straightforward as "a ten year old should weigh x" because as a society we might be getting heavier but we're also getting taller.

I think this shows a problem with the BMI calculators. I am 5ft 1 and 8st 3 is a very healthy weight for me.

This could have negative effects if a mother with her own issues around weight, saw this letter and put her healthy daughter on a diet because of it. I had a friend at uni whose mum locked the cupboards when she went home so she couldn't eat. She went from health slim, to unhealthy looking slim due to pressure from her mother. There should be a checking system where a sensible adult makes a judgement about whether the BMI is reflecting common sense reality.

I also had a slim, healthy colleague told he was overweight by a doctor - I have no idea how the doctor came to that conclusion when any fool can see it is not true.

Surely that depends on where they are in relation to puberty?

Early puberty usually comes about when a girl already has a higher amount of body fat.

Source:
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5664767/
pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/132/6/1019

You're not doing her any favours if you ignore the facts. She is overweight and that does need to be addressed. It's just as damaging to mh as not eating enough.

Just because others in the class are heavier/fatter than her doesn't mean she isn't overweight, it just means they are too.

Get advice and deal with it appropriately.

I hate to say it op but over 8 stone is VERY heavy for a 10yr old. Christ I was 5 stone at that age! I know this because until I was 18 I was always half my age in stones (weird but true) and my daughter's have more or less that same pattern.
I think schools are right to inform parents (note I said parents,not the child!) if there are concerns about children's weight,because so parents seem blinkered to the fact that their child is getting a bit porky and/or accept it as the norm.

I don’t see an issue with the letter at all!!!

First, it doesn’t afftect the child until you, the parent, decides to talk to them about it.
Then it also gives you the information, your choice if you decide to ignore it - just be aware that your DC once an adult might resent you for letting them become overweight. Changes are way easier to make as a DC than as an adult IMO.

Also overfed children tend to be taller too it's another indicator of their eating more cals than they need

Also overfed children tend to be taller too it's another indicator of their eating more cals than they need

Forgive me if this has already been said,but they tend to start puberty early too.

Yep it's more likely a case of their eating too much triggered the puberty than the puberty resulting in excess growth for age.

But I'm betting op won't listen to any of that, will ignore the issue and he dd in a few years will be an unhappy, unhealthy, overweight teen struggling to lose the weight without real support. Seen it soooooo many times

I think the level of puberty does have an effect. Using the child's BMI calculator, if you input the same stats but an age of 13, which is a more likely time to start periods based on my experience, it puts her at the top end of healthy weight.

Are you confident that they got the measurements right? It isn't unknown for inaccurate measurements to be recorded.

How do BMI measurements for girls around puberty take into account whether a girl has started puberty? I'd expect different reference ranges depending on whether a girl was prepubescent or quite a way through puberty. There must be something that deals with the transition between girl or woman, rather than hitting 18 changing the reference.