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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be furious at this?

140 replies

noseywhatsit · 26/02/2019 17:03

Just for background: My DD (10) is currently going through puberty, has had major growth spurts and is currently 8st 3Ibs and 5 foot.

A couple of month ago, her school had brought in a team to weigh the pupils and we didn’t receive feedback until a couple of weeks ago. In the letter they had sent home, they’d claimed that DD was overweight! I can very clearly see that she isn’t. This has made me feel really disgusted that they’re body shaming children! I have an older daughter who faced her own body issues during early teenage years and it was heartbreaking to see how it was affecting her emotionally and mentally. Am I wrong for thinking that they shouldn’t be throwing around claims like this when so many people, especially children and teens are dealing with eating disorders and mental health issues? I can’t help but think that they shouldn’t be throwing so much of the tax payers money into something like this when there’s so much more the NHS could do with that money, i.e. better mental health facilities for those who desperately need the medical intervention.

OP posts:
Tinkobell · 26/02/2019 17:40

They're just making you aware OP that's all. So you can make a few healthy changes at home - just have fruit snacks, maybe reduce portions a tad, make people walk a bit more each day. I do sympathise my DD had an early puberty with periods at 11 and was overweight too. It is easier to make small corrections than to have to climb a big mountain later on. My DD shed the weight of her own accord in the end...she said she disliked looking back at old photos and seeing herself as the 'fat kid'.

m0therofdragons · 26/02/2019 17:40

The measuring is a guide to flag any potential concerns to parents then parents can act on it as they wish. More dc in year 6 are overweight than ever before. If you've read the letter then made a parental decision to ignore it then that's that. The bmi gives part of the picture and is never supposed to be used in isolation. You sound rather intense to be honest. How do you think the letter should be worded?

LovingLola · 26/02/2019 17:40

Obesity and all its related health issues including diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, strokes and cancer, cost the health services many millions each year.
So it’s much more cost effective for parents to be informed that their young children are overweight/obese so that it can be tackled effectively before they reach adulthood.

pollyname · 26/02/2019 17:41

OP I wouldn't be happy with this either. If they are measuring childrens weight and sending feedback on it I would want it with a doctors opinion too - not whatever is spat out by a computer. Without informed context is wrong.

LagunaBubbles · 26/02/2019 17:41

Unless she's extremely muscular, weight in relation to her height does provide a good general guideline as to whether she's overweight or not

People carry weight in all different areas. So no I don't think you can say an 8 stone 3 child is necessarily overweight just based on these 2 things.

oilLovesChuck · 26/02/2019 17:42

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Tinkobell · 26/02/2019 17:45

I think the OP's making a rather binary mindset over this. Being told you're a bit overweight doesn't automatically mean extreme eating disorders take hold. It just means making a few proactive changes ....I do think people take this binary view because they don't want to sensibly engage with the problem and think and plan out and DO a few of the small practical changes that are needed - like low sugar cereals, more fruit, more walking, rice instead of chips, pizza low fat once a week, frozen yoghurt instead of ice cream, no fizzy drinks etc etc....they are small changes.

ShadyLady53 · 26/02/2019 17:46

My entire family have medical training and I’m sat here with two of them now. You wouldn’t find a medical practitioner alive who would classify a bmi of 22 as overweight.

You’re clearly just a troll that gets your kicks out of calling children fatties. Pathetic.

Laiste · 26/02/2019 17:46

pollyname If they are measuring childrens weight and sending feedback on it I would want it with a doctors opinion too

How much do you think it would cost to have a doctor look at all the kids who weighed under or over the average?

If you get a letter and want a GPs opinion take your child to the GP!

resipsa · 26/02/2019 17:47

We had this when DD had the first primary check, age 5. She is exceptionally tall (beyond the WHO charts) and by BMI was classed as overweight for a 5 year old but not a 7 year old of the same height/weight (according to NHS website). I didn't really understand how age played s role in the calculation so ignored it but it remains in my radar as a 'thing to watch'. I was a fat teenager and would do a hell of a lot to avoid that state for both of mine. Don't get angry, just acknowledge it and bear it in mind...

PurpleDaisies · 26/02/2019 17:49

If they are measuring childrens weight and sending feedback on it I would want it with a doctors opinion too

What do you think the doctor will do differently? They will weigh the child (which anyone can do), calculate the BMI (which a computer can do) and tell the patient they’re very overweight (if they’re the op’s daughter).

The op can see her gp for advice on healthy diet/activity levels if she wants.

TrickyKid · 26/02/2019 17:50

She is overweight for her height. Going through puberty is irrelevant, why would you think that makes her heavier?
Rather than being furious with school find a way to deal with your daughters health.

Kennehora · 26/02/2019 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

calsovip · 26/02/2019 17:53

People carry weight in all different areas. So no I don't think you can say an 8 stone 3 child is necessarily overweight just based on these 2 things.

Yes, that doesn't necessarily mean that the child is overweight, but barring exceptions, it probably does. Excess weight is excess weight though - and wouldn't you agree it's perhaps better to encourage a healthier lifestyle now that she's at the higher end of the scale instead of worrying if she's technically overweight or not?

dadshere · 26/02/2019 17:54

52kg at 10 years old seems to be very much past normal weight. Maybe you need to take a fresh look

Houseonahill · 26/02/2019 17:54

Can someone explain why she is apparently overweight? Because the exact same measurements for an 18 year old give a BMI of 22.5

PurpleDaisies · 26/02/2019 17:56

Can someone explain why she is apparently overweight?

Because children’s bodies are different to adults. Do you think the NHS is wrong in using special charts for children? Confused

Sirzy · 26/02/2019 17:57

I am amazed how many people think a 10 year old should even be close to adult weight. No wonder we have such a problem with obesity if people can’t see the differences!

ShadyLady53 · 26/02/2019 17:57

@Kennehora yes and thanks, I have seen a doctor (well many to be honest). They told me to try increasing my meat and dairy intake and put on a few pounds. I did and my periods came back. I compete in a sport at national level so have a big muscle to fat ratio. At that weight I looked ill and was rumoured to have an eating disorder which was infuriating Hmm.

Point is we are all different. Maybe the op is actually right that her daughter isn’t visibly chubby.

calsovip · 26/02/2019 17:58

Can someone explain why she is apparently overweight? Because the exact same measurements for an 18 year old give a BMI of 22.5

The amount of fat children carry on their bodies changes as they grow older. That's why children's BMI is calculated with height, weight, and age instead of the adult version which consists of just height and weight.

Houseonahill · 26/02/2019 18:00

purpledaisies No it was a genuine question because I'm not a weight expert? I presumed proportions were proportions. No need to be snarky.

Original poster
noseywhatsit · 26/02/2019 18:00

She really isn't visibly chubby at all. Like I said, she's very slim. If it weren't for her chest, she'd have a front like a bloody ironing board. I'm not just being ignorant, at least I'm acknowledging that she's bound to put weight on during puberty. It'd be pretty weird if your chest developed and you stayed the same weight...

OP posts:
Houseonahill · 26/02/2019 18:01

Thank you calvosip that makes more sense to me now

bellie710 · 26/02/2019 18:01

My DD (10) is 5ft and weighs 5 stone 12, so that does sound like a bit on the big side?

Original poster
noseywhatsit · 26/02/2019 18:02

You look at her and look at the rest of the kids in her class and there's a huge difference. All apart from maybe 3 of them are all shorter than her, and those who are similar heights carry more weight than she does.

OP posts: