To not understand why they think I’ve got depression

[User50000]

I’ve recently gone on sick leave. I used the idiom “I’ve hit a bit of wall” to describe why I was off. Without going into detail. A colleague has now messaged me saying she has also had depression and is here if I want to talk. I’m unsure why the phrase I used lead them to believe I was depressed? It wouldn’t be my first thought if someone had said this to me.

What did you mean by it?

Sorry you’re having a hard time. I think your colleague has been very kind and supportive.

Well most people would take that to mean stress / depression / anxiety I think. It’s very vague, and implies it’s not something physical.

I think your colleague was just being kind.

If you are going to use euphemisms, people may get the wrong idea.

Unless you literally hit a wall and are in traction, the phrase you’ve used is quite evocative of depression/stress/a breakdown.

Your colleague is trying to be supportive.

To “hit the wall” hard enough to be signed off work then presumably your GP also thinks there is something depression type going on?

Why are you off?

Your description would suggest a mental health condition.

Well yes, unless you’ve had a car crash into a literal wall- it sounds as though you’re not coping with life. Depression would be the obvious assumption.

Why does it matter?

I’d assume the same from that description.

I would have thought you were saying depression/ anxiety too. Your friend sounds lovely.

I'd have assumed the same in your friend's shoes. She sounds very supportive.

I would assume that you weren’t coping, and so you had taken time off to sort out your mental health.

I'd assume the same thing, unless you've literally hit a wall

Your colleague is reaching out to you

If you don't want to be misconstrued, don't be vague or use euphemisms. I think you're reading you much into it OP. I'd read 'hit a wall' to be stress / anxiety / depression / exhaustion and I'm not sure what else it could mean to be honest

I would assume someone who said that was depressed too.

I’d assume depression too. What do you think it means? Especially in terms of having to take time off work

Yes, that phrasing implies a mental health issue.

What could it mean other than that your mental health wasn’t great?

I guess maybe I’d think stress over depression if I had to pick one based on that description, but it’s marginal.

I would have thought you were suffering from burnout due to unresolvable difficulties at work. It would be a moot point for me whether this would go under the more general term of 'depression'.

Did you not like the use of the word and feel she was missing the mark?

Because you made it sound like you have depression.

I would also assume a mental health condition xx

It wouldn’t be my first thought if someone had said this to me.

So what would be your first thought if someone said that to you? Depression would certainly have been my first thought.

I would also think you meant mental health difficulties, be it stress or depression. If it’s not that and, as previous posters have said you didn’t literally crash into a wall, I’m intrigued as to what you meant?

Your colleague is being kind, thoughtful and supportive. They are obviously showing genuine concern for you, so take them up on it.

What did you want to say then, OP? Not coping is a sign of depression, your colleague seems lovely to contact you and tell you that about herself.

Meant to add that I hope you feel better soon .

I can sort of see that, if you are reacting in a normal human way to an abnormal amount of stress, it might feel frustrating to be called 'depressed' as if your response to intolerable conditions is somehow aberrant rather than understandable.

So,...you meant you have actually physically hit a wall?
WTF did you expect them to think. It's a daft thing to say as a reason for being off sick.