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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand why they think I’ve got depression

99 replies

User50000 · 26/02/2019 13:50

I’ve recently gone on sick leave. I used the idiom “I’ve hit a bit of wall” to describe why I was off. Without going into detail. A colleague has now messaged me saying she has also had depression and is here if I want to talk. I’m unsure why the phrase I used lead them to believe I was depressed? It wouldn’t be my first thought if someone had said this to me.

OP posts:
RiddleyW · 26/02/2019 14:23

I am intrigued as to what your first thought would have been? I would have certainly assumed a MH problem.

STOPSCRATCHINGTHECRADLECAP · 26/02/2019 14:24

Your colleagues were looking out for you and trying to sympathise.

Whether you have depression or drove into a wall.

You're lucky to work with such nice people.
Why question it?

CheeseWheel · 26/02/2019 14:24

I would also assume you meant depression/anxiety or similar related mental health condition. Usually accompanied by feeling burnt out and exhausted.

SoyDora · 26/02/2019 14:25

I would have assumed the same to be honest. I’ve never heard that expression used to describe a physical health condition?

BlueJeansNiceTop · 26/02/2019 14:26

"hit the wall" implies burnout / stress / breakdown, so yes I think your colleague was reasonable in her message.

What did YOU mean by it?

PurpleDaisies · 26/02/2019 14:28

I’d assume depression as well. Why are you off?

Hubblebubbletripletrouble · 26/02/2019 14:28

Your colleague made a perfectly reasonable assumption. What’s the problem?

SausageSimon · 26/02/2019 14:30

I would assume you've been under extreme stress and pressure and that somethings had to give. So you're off work

JumpOrBePushed · 26/02/2019 14:31

I’d assume some sort of mental health crisis from that phrase.

I suppose you might have got injured literally driving into a real physical wall, but that guess would come below mental health crisis.

Margot33 · 26/02/2019 14:35

I would have thought the same thing too. It was nice of her to disclose that to you.

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 26/02/2019 14:36

Did you actually hit an actual wall and injure yourself?

If not, what did you think people would think?

I'm not being smart, I'm just genuinely interested. Sometimes I honestly think people can't do right for doing wrong!

rosinavera · 26/02/2019 14:38

I would think the same too.

notangelinajolie · 26/02/2019 14:38

So what did you mean OP?

woollyheart · 26/02/2019 14:39

Looks like most people would assume that you have some sort of mental health issue.

If that is wrong, you need to go back and clarify.

SurgeHopper · 26/02/2019 14:39

As above...

WinnieFosterTether · 26/02/2019 14:40

I'd assume you were burned out. I think most people would. What would you think if someone told you they had hit a bit of a wall?
But try not to focus on the wording. Look instead at the kindness they have shown. I hope you feel better soon (whatever your reasons for being off). Flowers

AryaStarkWolf · 26/02/2019 14:41

Yes sorry op I would also think it was something to do with MH issues

WinnieFosterTether · 26/02/2019 14:45

I've been trying to think when I wouldn't assume it meant burnout eg if I knew someone had a long-term medical condition for which they had been seeking treatment then I might think 'I've hit a bit of a wall' meant they had finished one treatment and were seeking another. But that's the only time I'd reach a different conclusion about what the statement meant.

recklessgran · 26/02/2019 14:45

Gosh, you're lucky that someone in your work place cares enough to contact you..

Ftumch · 26/02/2019 14:47

That definitely sounds as like a euphemism for stress or depression.

Ghanagirl · 26/02/2019 14:48

OP’s obviously ran into another wall...

Dimsumlosesum · 26/02/2019 14:49

You've gone on SICK leave. Because apparently that is when people are off because they are SICK - this is either in mind, or body. If you've literally hit a wall, that's body. If you've taken sick leave for other reasons, of course people will assume you've got depression.

SherlockSays · 26/02/2019 14:50

Well you don't just get signed off work by a GP because you're just a bit fed up of work do you? They sign you off with stress/depression/anxiety so it's a perfectly normal assumption to make.

Lizzie48 · 26/02/2019 14:51

I would assume depression as well. If you're not physically ill (which I assume is the case unless you've hit a literal wall), your colleagues will think it's depression. That particular colleague was trying to be supportive.

MadAboutWands · 26/02/2019 14:52

Burnout isn’t the same as being depressed though.....