To wonder how I’m going to help DH lose weight!

[Helpmepleasenow48]

I’ve not posted in the diet forums yet...
My DH needs to lose at least 3 stone.
He’s 48 and also smokes, though he’s just got a vape thingy.
Basically he eats too much, we don’t have much junk food and our indulgence is a weekly take away. The rest of the time we mostly cook from scratch.
For example yesterday at breakfast he had four slices of toast.
He’s asked me to cook some no carb stuff as he wants to try Michael Moseley’s blood group/fast diet which starts off at 800 calories a day for a few weeks.
I don’t need to lose weight. I’m 5ft 8 and weigh just under 10 stone - I do loads of exercise but not to lose weight, so I need my carbs.
My husband did start a diet but after a week gave up.
He looks very bloated and not healthy - it breaks my heart.

You arent a nutritionalist, neither is he. Tell him to get to the GP , who will give him a 12 week referral to Slimming World. There are male dominated groups, mine is one.

Ah thank you didn’t know that

You can do the BSD recipes but just add carbs for you. Ideally he needs to be exercising as well once he's done the initial 8 weeks.

Could you cook no-carb stuff and add a portion of carbs for yourself?

For example, spaghetti bolognese but you have spaghetti and he has spiralised courgettes or similar? Beef stroganoff but he has more stroganoff and veg and you have rice?

If he goes no carb he actually needs to be no carb for it to work. Not just cook some no carb things.

I'm low carbing while the rest of the family doesn't. It's easy really. They just have potatoes and Yorkshires with their roast while I don't. If you want him to succeed, maybe try it.

Can you swap wholemeal for white. Try to include food that takes longer to digest. Add more veg. Use skimmed milk. Don’t have sweets, crisps & biscuits in the house. Do jacket potatoes rather than roasties.

Can you get him out walking more?

You don’t need a GP referral for slimmin world.

Have a quick google for 12 weeks free and the link to your local area should come up. Takes about 5 mins to fill in the form and then you get a voucher thru the post.

Otherwise I’d recommend the 5:2 so similar to the 800 one but fasting for 2 days only.

I’ve dropped 15lb in 4 weeks on that one.

Why is it up to you to cook more healthily or change what you cook for him? Why can't he do it? You can obviously manage your own weight.

The Fast 800 Michael Mosley book is brilliant. Im like you and don't need to lose weight, neither do our DC.. But DH is doing the Fast 800 to the letter and we're a enjoying the med diet.. DC and I are eating carbs along with it and DH is carb free. He has lost 2 stone in 6 weeks and he's quite enjoying it! Great knowing the DC and I are actually eating better too! It's been great!

*all enjoying the med diet (Mediterranean)

you cannot help him until he is ready to help himself

He needs to take ownership of this himself. He needs to work out the meal plans and do the shopping at the wekends, there’s no excuse for him not doing that, even if you cook all the meals.

As PP have said, you can just add in some carbs for yourself.

Do NOT be in charge of this for him. I speak from hard experience here.

My Dh is also very overweight and I’m not. I spent years of my life cooking 2 meals, one for me and the kids and one for him. Then he’d go out to the corner shop and buy 2-3 mars bars / twix and scoff them. I’d make healthy packed lunches and he keep his his desk drawer stocked with chocolate and crisps.

Your husband will not lose weight because he needs to. He will only lose it when HE wants to. Ditto the smoking.

He doesn’t need to go to the Gp or need be a nutritionist to lose weight and 3 stone to lose is hardy a vast amount.

He also started a diet and gave up after a week? He needs to find some willpower then doesn’t he, the weight is not going to come off without some effort for him, not from you from him.

He is an adult, he is also overweight. If he wants to do this 800 calories diet, order the book from amazon and he can read up on the diet.

Google is also your friend for finding good recipes And then you can either eat the same but have a bigger portion or add carbs to yours

Also he needs to find an exercise and get moving. Take up running, cycling or even walking more

Dietings all well and good but he also needs to obviously have a really good exercise plan to compliment a new way of eating. Dieting only lasts so long unless he realises this is now his forever way of eating day to day.

Why is this your responsibility!?

My DH also needs to lose weight. I've lost a lot (don't own scales so don't know how much bt I've gone down two sizes) in the last few months but he hasn't lost any despite me dramatically changing what I cook. I think his issues are portion size, lack of awareness/prioritising healthiness, and an inability to leave anything unfinished. I want to help but it needs to be led by him I think - what has worked for me is deciding where I can happily make changes and what I don't want to compromise on, so for instance I still have butter on bread and cook with normal oil instead of frylight but I've cut down dramatically on pasta, cheese, biscuits etc.

Fwiw he doesn't need a book, there's a MM thread on here in Weightloss.

Dietings all well and good but he also needs to obviously have a really good exercise plan to compliment a new way of eating. Dieting only lasts so long unless he realises this is now his forever way of eating day to day.

I'm afraid that's well-meaning but incorrect advice. Losing weight is 90% nutrition, 10% exercise. If he is having a hard time with the nutrition, introducing additional changes might be the thing that makes him think "This is too much." Baby steps. Food first.

Lower carb and high protein always works well for me, but 800 calories a day sounds extremely low, especially to just jump straight into.
I'd say first thing to do is get him tracking exactly what he's eating at present for a week or so, and see where it's really adding up calories for little benefit.

What will work best for him will very much depend on his personality and tastes, and what he does for exercise etc.

Also, while there's a point at which you really can just weigh too much, things like measurements and how clothes fit are probably a better metric to work to - if he's getting slimmer and fitter but the scales aren't moving much, that's absolutely fine.

He’s the one who needs to change, he needs to take responsibility for what he puts in his mouth and shopping and cooking to make sure he’s got the right options available.

My mum needed to shift some weight pre surgery and had massive success with the BSD. It was very impressive.

If you take on the cooking so he can try it he’s not owning it and you both risk him blaming you for him not sticking to it if he’s not mad about the meals or ends up snacking around it.

Why on earth is he asking you to cook for him and not doing it himself?!

My DH is helping me loose weight. It is tough when he doesn't need to (super fit runner)
So what we do is
No carbs with dinner for me. We have bean chilli, he has more, we both have a bit of cheese (because i can't do without cheese) and he has rice. I have extra veg on every plate so I dont feel so hungry. So his plate is normal, mine is 60%veg and 40% protein.

The problem is more when I'm not eating at home!

Another than seconds Slimming World! My Dh (and I) had both put on weight when I had my DS, all the rubbish food when I was on maternity leave!! We both joined slimming world and have now lost over 4stone each and it's nice to do something together, even if it is just SW!

Can you get him out walking more? 😂😂 she’s not married to a dog

He's pushing it back on you again. Here's his Plan:
(1) get her to cook me some stuff to make me lose weight
(2) get her to buy me a book
(3) eat an apple while I flick through the book
(4) better wait till Monday because I'm going out on Thursday night anyway
(5) use the book as a table mat