People who can't accept that you don't love the things they do.

[ChickeningOut]

AIBU to be annoyed when people refuse to accept that something isn't for me?

A friend adores camping and is going on a camping holiday with a small group later in the year. I said how lovely. Have a wonderful time. She says you should come with us. I said you know camping isn't my thing but I'm looking forward to hearing about it. Cue a long rant/speech about the joys of camping and how wonderful it is and that I shouldn't let my first experience put me off.

I had the same when I read a book that a friend recommended which I didn't love but said it was an interesting read. This resulted in another conversation practically demanding that I admit how wrong I was.

Does anyone else know someone like this?

"Camping is awesome though once you’ve got the hang of it...."

No it isn't. It really isn't. Reasons camping doesn't appeal to me:

Tramping across the field in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning to use the loo
Other people being noisy
Being subject to the vagaries of the weather
Being cold at night
Having to share showers/loo/washing facilities (I have IBS and need an en suite bathroom)

Nope. Don't see any appeal there.

But if I ever express my preference for the cold, people just cannot get their heads around it. They accuse me of being "miserable" - usually the same people who spend all of winter whinging that it's too cold... it drives me mad!

So when they start whinging about the cold, turn it round on them and accuse them of being miserable

I don't have a try anything once mentality. I try lots of things, but the trying anything once implies, to me, that a person will be a stupid risk taker. (Probably because I know someone who used to say that. He tried weed and things got worse.)

I also don't like Alan Partridge, but Steve Coogan was good in Stan and Ollie.

I don't like:

Wine
Cheese
Coffee
Tea
Getting drunk

This causes great consternation for many people in many different settings. But generally it's wine/getting drunk that seems to make it some people's mission to change my mind

For me it’s the beach. I hate the beach. I hate swimming in the sea. I hate how the sand gets everywhere and sticks to my sunscreen. I also burn easily so spend most of my time in the shade feeling too warm and miserable. DH and DD love it though so I suck it up on holiday but I’d much rather be beside a pool, with a bar that serves nice cold drinks and plenty of spots to go shade when I feel my skin frying.

• also not a fan of camping but I do love Centre parcs.

Oh god. I seldom properly laugh in here anymore, but ...

[I've got a try anything once mentality so struggle with people being closed minded]

You must try Russian Roulette. Trust me, the feeling of elation when you here the trigger click and you don't die, it's just fantastic. Do let us know how you get on

I've got a try anything once mentality so struggle with people being closed minded

Not closed minded if you know yourself and know what you do and don't like.

Oooh I feel sort of the same about the beach but I keep going because I feel like I'm supposed to enjoy it... I like to look at the sea for a bit... that's the limit of it.... why would I just want to sit there on the sand for ages? I dont get what everyone is doing there?
Better to go in the winter to just have a look... then no one expects you to sit there all day.

I think part of the reason people try to convince others to try something is that when people turn it down they tend to not do it in the nicest of ways and inadvertently come across as judging or insulting someone else's passion. So said person feels the need to convince them as a way of defending it.
Consider the difference between "Camping is awful and I hate it so wont be coming." VS. "Camping isn't really my kind of thing so I'll sit this one out. But enjoy!"

The OP, very clearly did the second but a lot of people tend to say things in the style of the first example.

I feel the same about weak, milky tea. Can't stand it. There's no sodding point. I thought for years that I hated tea, because I was surrounded by people who would insist I just hadn't had the right cup of tea yet, and would present me with some milky weak shit tea and expect me to like it. First time someone made me a proper, strong cuppa with a dash of milk = yep, got it.

SchadenfreudePersonified I like to think of myself as being like the trolls in the Discworld series. Put them in the freezer and they become capable of doing calculus. Warm them up and they can't even form proper sentences. It always annoyed me at school that all the exams were in summer when my brain was sluggish. If I'd been allowed to sit in the walk-in fridge while I wrote, I'm sure I would have got straight As...

I'd love to know what % of introverts vs extroverts like camping. As an introvert, I can't bear the lack of privacy: ironically, considering you're in the middle of a sodding field, it feels incredibly claustrophobic

I’m ‘odd’. I suppose I’m an extrovert who NEEDS a lot of time alone AND I’m FAR less tolerant of others with each passing year! (I think that’s possibly just not being terribly well and having lots of aches & pains).

Different camping for different situations & different phases of my life.

Campsites when travelling. Much cheaper and fab for meeting people, shared experiences etc (Octoberfest type things).

Camping at a campground that had a FANTASTIC site for small kids (natural things like very shallow but wide sandy lake, small trees to climb and rope swings type thing) and for ease of life with small kids (fabulous kitchen with playroom area so by week two you could actually cook something). Close to home (about 1.5 hrs) so a friend and I would go with the kids for weeks on end and the DH’s would come for chunks of the time) etc But had to put up with the fact that some people are just incredibly selfish & irritating. Didn’t really bother me at the time too much but I was younger and less easily irritated!

Middle of the forest but with vehicle access with groups of friends of all ages & stages of life. River, hill climbs, lots of grassy space. Good spots for a group area with a fire. No one else to bother. Fab.

Off road, miles off road, access by proper 4WD, white sandy beach, just us and a couple of friends. Bliss.

Hiking in, just us or just me. Few miles from anything and anyone. Just a river or sandy beach...amazing.

My idea of Camping HELL is a busy campsite with ‘facilities’ - arcades, entertainment etc. No thank you. I want nature, not THAT.

Grace

WhoGivesADamnForAFlakeyBandit

I feel the same about weak, milky tea. Can't stand it. There's no sodding point. I thought for years that I hated tea, because I was surrounded by people who would insist I just hadn't had the right cup of tea yet, and would present me with some milky weak shit tea and expect me to like it. First time someone made me a proper, strong cuppa with a dash of milk = yep, got it

...and that sums up quite nicely WHY people try to convince others to give things a go ‘their’ way. Because they love something and just want to share the joy if it, convinced if people tried it ‘their’ way they’d actually love it too.

Sometimes you just know you wouldn’t but sometimes we just need to be more open to trying things. Or at least understanding WHY people are persistent in explaining the joys of the things they love encouraging you to try them.

Ah the try anything once mentality. Yet it seems those with that mentality have never once tried that thing where they try to understand that some people don’t need to try something (nope not even once) to know it’s not something they will like. See, I don’t have to try eating a turd to know it’s going to taste bad and I don’t have to try letting someone hurt me to know I’m not going to like s&m.

Camping I can tolerate for 3 days on a proper campground with shower/toilet blocks and a shop-cafe. The hardcore off-grid thing out in the wilderness that DH loves with his hunting/fishing family and buddies, no. He gets it so he doesn’t try to persuade me any more than I try to persuade him to do 3 days of concentrated museum and monument sightseeing. We have sufficient crossover and compromise in our likes and dislikes that we rub along nicely.

Some of our friends though seem to think it their mission in life to get me on one of these off-grid trips. One woman got quite upset with me about a trip they were planning when I kept saying no. “You have to try, you have to try.” No I don’t. I already know I won’t like taking a trowel out in the woods to dig a hole I can shit into, or not being able to shower off the fish guts and deer innards, thanks though.

I have to admit I do struggle when people say they don't like reading books. I'm polite but I'm not sure my manners always make it to my face. It's such a fundamental part of my life, it's like someone saying they don't like sleeping or breathing.

I am totally with you, OP.

Camping is hell. Been there as a teen. Hated it. Never, ever again. Under ANY circumstances.

I have no issue with people who are into camping. Up to them. But I do get the rage when they think it's their job to evangelise about how fantastic it is and how I'm missing out.

Some people have very specific ideas about how life should be spent and are baffled by people who feel differently.

I don’t have to try letting someone hurt me to know I’m not going to like s&m.

Just as an aside it really isn't just about "letting someone hurt me".

Like, I've already said I think the issue is the attitude people have. If you don't like something or don't want to try it, just say so in a polite way. But when people make assumptions and insult other people's hobbies then of course they will try and defend it and get you to try. (This isn't aimed at anyone on the thread- just an example to add to the discussion!)

I have a friend who I find so sanctimonious and small-minded. It's like she refuses to accept that some people may have different opinions or enjoy different things and believes her way is the only way. In fact, I am not sure I even like her.

I don’t like couscous.

But what happens if I say “I don’t like couscous” is a friend immediately invites me round to dinner so that they can make me their special couscous dish which I am bound to love.

Just to be clear, I don’t hate couscous, I find it boring. Even with smoked paprika and roasted pepper or other things I like.

And the friend will make me couscous and look at me full of expectant hope and i have to say “well I liked it more than other couscous dishes (a lie) and you’re clearly a good cook but I still don’t really care for it. And then they look sad.

So now I don’t tell people I don’t like it. So they won’t try to fix me.

I did a lot of camping holidays as a child I get nostalgic happy memories from the smell of human sewage. We don’t camp as a family I’ve done it to death

I remember at uni I had a tiny flirtation with backpacking. I hated it. I went to Peru and South Africa. It was horrible. Anyway I made my peace with it but a friend (40 yo male) loved travelling. I mean absolutely loved for it.

He was going on about how much I'd love India. I said no. I'd tried. I had limited funds and Peru was 3rd world enough for me. I didn't cope well with the culture shock in South Africa either. Oh and I am from Ireland and can't cope with heat/humidity.

Also how women were treated. Anyway he just would not get why I had no inclination to go to India. This was over 30 years ago and it still makes me cross. He just kept going on and on about how great it was and how much I'd love it. He couldn't comprehend that our tastes were wildly different and how we were treated were wildly different.

I think the issue OrangeJuiceandArmchairs is you are making an assumption about a country as big, vast and diverse as India based on your one experience of backpacking through one 3rd world country on a different continent. Its not great to be generalising cultures like that. If its the actual act of back packing style of travel then id understand that but to write off a country because you went to one other 3rd world country isnt great. Its like saying you dont like any alcoholic drink because you tried one beer and didnt like it.

I have a friend who hates it if you like something she doesn’t. Even small things like catching a bus (she feels sick on buses), looking something up while riding a bus (reading on transport makes her feel sick), eating something that she isn’t keen on (ugh, how can you eat that, it looks disgusting). It gets dull.

Camping, cycling and allotments seem to breed this type of people. YANBU.