to refuse to use their bathroom?

[gkdivr]

I don't live with my DP/BF whatever you want to refer to him as. He has a job which involves me working away most weeks, he is only at his home about 2-3 weekends in a month, plus a couple of extra days, the rest of the time he is in accommodation near his workplace.

I go to stay with him normally one of those weekends. His home is just a base for him, it's rented and v basic. There is no shower nor ability to have one (we tried getting one of those that attach to the taps but the taps are a really odd size and it wouldn't fit at all). You can have a bath however the bathroom is freezing and the water pressure really poor so it takes a good 20 mins to get the bath half full.

My partner normally visits a relative who lives about a mile away and showers there. I'm not comfortable with this so when i stay there have to make do with a small bath or strip wash for the 2 days.

I know my partner finds my objection to going to relatives home for a shower a bit odd especially as I'm not happy about the bath/ wash situation at his place. But for me I'm just not comfortable with getting dressed going in the car to his relatives, having a chat with them, then getting in the shower, getting dressed, going home etc.

Is this just me or would you also not feel happy doing this?

[KatharinaRosalie]

It's not difficult to change the taps with ones that have a shower attachment. Even if remted and basic, I could not live in a place without shower.

[NotTheFordType]

Get an extension cord and an electric space heater. Start running the bath and switch on the heater at the same time. Switch OFF the heater before you get in the bath.

Tie your hair up and use dry shampoo for 2 days until you get home.

No fucking way would I be showering at anyone else's house unless we were a) related or b) having sex.

[TheresTheFlyingFuckIDontGive]

We have one of those oil-filled radiators for one of our bathrooms that's pretty cold. Aldi and Lidl have them for less than £50. You can set your maximum temperature on it, and it will heat up to that then cut off, then heat up again.

[IDoN0tCare]

Cut a bit off the top of a balloon, put the end that you blow up over the bit of the shower hose that you normally attach to the tap (remove the fitting that is on that end of the hose first as you only want the hose bit) Put the other cut end over the tap, wrap with a strong tape, such as gorilla tape. Make sure you attach the tape top the tap, all over the balloon and hose.

There are special adapters you can buy on amazon.

[ItStartedWithAKiss241]

I’d use the bath and get an extension cable and electric heater for the cold x

[gkdivr]

He wouldn't allow an electric heater in the bahtroom I did ask about this. There is no central heating so every room is cold.

The bath is set in a tiled surround so you can't get to the taps without basically ripping it all out. He did ask the LL about putting in a shower but apparently hes rented the property for years and no one else has asked about it, and because it's not a simple matter of popping the bath panel off he wasn't keen.

I do see partner at mine but he also likes me to visit his home once a month. This isn't permanent he is planning to move in 6-12 months but that is another 6-12 stays there for me!

[MrsTerryPratcett]

He wouldn't allow an electric heater in the bahtroom I did ask about this.

Why not? You could switch it off once the room was warm if he's worried about it.

[user1457017537]

I think this is beyond grim if I’m honest. Adequate bathroom and shower facilites are the very minimum you should expect. Cleanliness is next to godliness and all that.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Might be an odd way of looking at this but

Why does your Dp even rent this place as he is hardly there.

Is the rent is sub £100 per month?

Given how little he uses the place couldn’t he just rent an Airbnb for the odd weekend. Probably could use Airbnb for a months worth of visits for much less than he is paying for the flat.

Not only would he have a proper bathroom and central heating but would also not have the rent, rates, water rates insurance and heating bill associated with renting a flat.

[ForalltheSaints]

I wouldn't be going there in the first place.

[ravenmum]

Is he actually making a fuss about you not driving over to his relative's bathroom, as well as not allowing you to heat his bathroom?

[gkdivr]

He rents because he needs a permanent address for various reasons plus also a place to keep his belongingz, it is only temporary (hes been there for about 6 months now) but at the time there wasn't much other accommodation in the price range he was looking in. It does help me to remember he will move at some point!

[Purpleartichoke]

I would either have him come to your place or heat up the bath by adding a pot of boiling water.

[gkdivr]

Hes not making a fuss he just seems to find it odd I'm not prepared to consider it when the bathroom at his place isnt great to use.

[ravenmum]

I'd find it odder to have sex with my partner and then go over to his aunty's house to wash off the evidence before giving her a cheerful wave and driving away.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

What do you mean there is no central heating? Legally the landlord has to offer a reliable source of heat and hot water to each occupied room. That can for example be electric heaters. I would have thought the bathroom would be classed as an occupied room.

How is the house heated?

[whasoaw1]

Sorry if my comment is stupid in advance. Have you had a look how far turned open the stopcock is? Sometimes houses with low water pressure have a stopcock that's been closed too much. This can make taps dribble more than FLUSH. Some people close them more to been environmentally friendly. If this fails, does he have a boiler?

YANBU about bathing at their house! That would make me feel awful too. "Hi, how has your day been? Oh me? Well I'm alright but I'm about ready for a nice bath, where are the clean towels?"

[RippleEffects]

Someone mentioned this already but camping showers are under £5 delivered and work really well. eBay link

You can get pressure fit shower rails for a few pounds too. A value shower curtain is next to nothing, so for your own comfort if it's important enough you could rig something up.

[gkdivr]

Sorry yes there are electric/ fan heaters in the bedroom and lounge but that's it, i don't think of them as central heating as they're just heaters, not centrally controlled etc.

I don't think there is a boiler just an immersion heater?

[whasoaw1]

Ah I see. You might be able to put the thermostat up on that. They're all different though so I'm not sure. Try this stopcock thing. Just turn the tap until it won't open any more then test the pressure. Saying that though, I'm sure if any of this were possible your other half would have done it all by now.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Couldn’t he rent a P.O. box, declutter and sell his stuff and either find a friend or rent a storage space for the rest of his stuff and just rent a place nightly.
The way it is atm is dreadful. No heating and no place to wash is just awful.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Or just have his mail redirected to a friends house.

If he is only going to this place once or twice a month surely he isn’t too worried about his post.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

He could complain to his ll about the water pressure. They can send someone out. Odds on its low pressure in the area.

[Vicky1990]

What is his objection to putting an electric heater in there?.

[SaucyJack]

Don’t bother trying to fit shower taps if there’s only an immersion heater, and it’s on the same level.

The water pressure will be too low to work it. You’d need a proper electric powered shower wired in.

Can you just do it old school by topping it up with a few kettles full of hot water if it’s not going to be long-term?