What do you wish your parents had taught you as a child?

[NayYay]

There's a few things I wish my parents had taught me as a child. Some of it is really basic stuff but has had a massive impact on my life. I don't want my kids to have to go through the same.

Financial - how to budget, loans, mortgages etc
Oral hygiene- my DM had a phobia of the dentist and as a result I only ever went to the dentist twice as a child. She wouldn't let me go.
How to cook

What did you wish your parents told you about.

That a degree in arts gets you nowhere these days.

Learn a new language, because the world is constantly evolving.

How to be treated right by the opposite sex

Oh the list goes on...

That I don’t have to please everyone.

My mum always told me I could change the world but at the same time she taught me that there was no harm in being a rebel. I rebelled thinking I could change the world. Had she pushed me to work hard, I could’ve put my skills to good use rather than concentrating on pool and downing pints!

I wish she’d taught me to talk about feelings and to trust people more. My mum is very glass half full, cynical and finds fault in everyone.

How to sleep.

My mother could sleep on a pinhead and my father doesn't sleep. We were all just left too it at night.

I now don't sleep well at all but am trying to teach my lo good positive sleep habits. It's a valuable skill that can be life changing if you get a good nights rest.

What a healthy relationship should be like, and how to protect yourself against being used, abused, hurt, humiliated. To be fair and realistic, I don’t think my mum had a hope of teaching me that because she didn’t know herself, but she didn’t even try. Just told me that she didn’t want to know about my boyfriends. So I had to work it all out for myself with nothing but my parents’ disastrous marriage as an example, and I worked it out by making every mistake possible at least twice. Nobody told me no relationship is better than a terrible one. Nobody told me that I deserved better than anyone who’d pay me attention. It sounds ridiculous and obvious, but if you’re a teenager desperate to be cool and accepted and not like your family, you need to hear that stuff.

How to swim.

Although I nearly drowned aged 7 in a swimming pool, my df used to wind me up when we’d go swimming, instead of encouraging me, he’d tease me and then get angry

To be more confident and not always feel I have to back down to those older than me. Even at nearly 30, I feel like a child around anyone older than me, and like I have no right to a different opinion. I know their intention was for me to be respectful, but consequently I have no sense of self worth or self confidence.

I also wish they had taught me that as long as I did my best, that’s all I needed to do. Instead, even when I tried really hard and got an A in an exam (for example), the response was always “well what could you have done to get an A*?” Again, I know this was well meaning but I now am extremely self critical and hold myself to very unrealistic standards, which I would not expect of anyone else.

I was brought up with good manners, good behaviour, speak correctly, never to argue, never to raise my voice and definitely never raise my hands.
In my life, I have found that all those good upbringing attitudes are not always appreciated. There have been times when going against my upbringing would be more effective.
Not everyone had the same upbringing as me and there are people who just push their luck no matter what their upbringing.
I think I needed more insight into all types of lives.

How to ride a bike! They only tried to t ahh me a couple of times, and then gave up when I didn't get it.

I also wish they'd let me quit extra curriculars I didn't enjoy. I am SUCH a quitter as an adult because I was never allowed to give anything up as a child.

Good thread. Much to be learned here with the proviso that hindsight is a wonderful thing and that many of us with older parents should cut them some slack for the times and mores they were brought up in.

How to assert myself and that my needs were important too.

That girls / women are just as valid as men, and do not have to base their lives around serving men. That we are people in our own right.

That school and learning was important. That I was important and loved. She did love me, but didn't show it, too many of us kids.

You can let people help you
You don't have to do everything yourself all the time
You don't have to be strong for everyone all the time

My DM died 2 years ago and I don't think I'll ever believe those 3 above sentences

Reading this thread, it's clear that parents can win.

To take one example, someone wanted to be told not to quit hobbies ; someone else wanted to be allowed to quit.

Parents can't teach everything. There is a bit of an attitude here of blaming one's parents for one's own deficiencies.

Great thread!

That having any random degree won't automatically lead to a great career.

Oh Jesus. Where's my ring binder 😝

1. How to be assertive and stand up for myself.
2. Not to worry constantly about what others think of me.
3. How to cook.
4. That mediocre can be very fulfilling. You don't need to set the world on fire to have a good life.
5. Budgeting and debt
6. To keep my dignity with guys and not be too keen.
7. Academic achievement doesn't guarantee you success.
8. Independence.

Just a few. I'm sure there are others.

Agree Pierre can't win and it's depending on child too.

To be tidy

Self control - though to be fair they did try,and I’m not sure if they could have done more or not!

Totally agree Pierre. Part of life’s journey is our own learning experience and finding things out for ourselves. And learning how to apply make up and walk in heels - really? Surely these are things you learn and share with friends, not parents.

That I wasn't a disappointment

How to keep to a routine. How to set boundaries. How to respect myself.

I wish someone, my parents or any older wiser person, had taught me not to measure my self worth by how attractive I was to men. It has taken me so long to work out what my other more important strengths are and it has been a long and unhappy journey in many ways. I wish my Mum had taught me to retain some dignity with men too as I was very lacking in self worth and there are many situations I found myself in that I didn’t really want to be in. I also chose a completely unsuitable person to settle down with in the end. Not my parent’s fault but if they could have helped me to realise I deserved better relationships, I might have made better choices.

That I didnt have to say yes to everything in order to not appear to be ill mannered.