Work problem - AIBU to cry due to work situation?

[HollaHolla]

I’m having a bit of a time where I’d appreciate the thoughts of others in finding some sort of a solution.
I work in a team of about 30, with 3 of us as managers.

I was off all of December, and half of January, as my father died. My colleague, A was off for about 4 weeks, as she landed up in hospital for a serious injury. She is back on a phased return of about 30 hours a week. The third colleague, B, had been off since October, until last week, with stress. They have also come hack on a phased return - of 1 hour a day.
We have a serious manager problem, as they’re pretty useless, and doesn't actually manage us.

We’re really struggling. The main problem is around the colleague B, and that A and I are still doing their work. I’m stressed from the bereavement, and A will be off for surgery in 4 weeks (for 2 months). We won’t have any backfill, and B will be on 2, 3, 4 hours a day. No-one knows what they’re doing, so it’s creating work. I get they’ve been ill, but - 1 hour a day? It’s making things really unfair on A and I, as we’re doing so much other work, we’re not managing our own. It’s not B’s fault, but it was actually easier when they were off.

As I say, we fully accept we have a manager problem, but does anyone have any suggestions? WIBU to push for some temp, or acting up, cover. We are pretty senior, doing specialised work, so it’s not just a case of getting a temp in. We’ve also just been through a round of redundancy, so there really is no money. When we say we can’t get everything done, and are prioritising, we’re told to just manage to get it all done.

I’m not sure which of A if I will be off with stress first. I’m ready to cry when I arrive at work every morning.
AIBU to ask for your advice.

I would ask for extra help and say in the email that if you can't have extra cover then deadlines won't be met. If they say no, you did what you could and accept that deadlines won't be met. It's not your fault at all, they aren't helping you with it.

I've had a similar issue recently, and my other work has just basically been put on hold because they won't give me the time to do it and expect me to do both jobs at once. Which I've refused to do and so it sits not getting done and backlogging. But that's my managers decision, and he can take the fall for it.

Sadly, when doing that, we’re told to do it all anyway. None of us are willing to work loads of unpaid overtime (and A used to work about 50 hours - her choice) so it’s all backing up. Our CEO is going nuts that stuff isn’t being done.
I think it’s absolutely clear that we have as serious manager problem.

Go to hr about it and tell them you are struggling. It's not your fault your manager sucks.

Talk to the other two? They must have felt the same with your extended time off. Maybe all approach HR together.

Sorry but it sounds to me like you think a bereavement and physical Illness are more valid that stress. If you believe B is genuinely Ill then this it is for management to sort and you and A shouldn't be plugging the gaps. If you believe B is milking it then collate your evidence and head to HR.

It's not your fault but not is it A or B's fault that management are incompetent

Email back & say it is not possible for two of you to do the work of 3, so either they prioritise the work, or you will have to.

JOB hunt. Hard.

I’m sorry about your Dad 💐 I would have told them where to shove it in the few —years— months after my Dad died, I had NO patience for any of that kind of shit.

Your company sound ungrateful ... the more you do, the more they will pile on ... all you can do is your job as per your job description and anything additional within reason.
Do you like your job?
Would you consider looking elsewhere?

Thank you all.
I’m sorry if it seems that it’s come across that any illness ‘trumps’ another. It’s absolutely not that. We do actually all get on well, and are genuinely wishing to support one another.

I think my bereavement is skewing my tolerance - and I’m doubting myself because of this. I do really actually usually like my job, and my immediate colleagues (A&B) have been really supportive over the last 18 months whilst my dad has been very ill (covering things for me - including a lot of travel, as we are required to work overseas for 6-8 weeks a year each. A did all of this travel to cover for me, on top of her own share.)

I am concerned that B isn’t here much - and whether they are actually well enough to be at work at all. I suspect that when A goes off for this surgery, that I’ll be left with all of the slack to pick up. Our boss is really super useless, but is best friends with the CEO (for about 20 years). I am doubting my decision-making after dad’s death, and whether it would be career suicide to really kick off about this with HR. I think I have to do something - for my own sanity, if nothing else. I’m sure A&B will also thank me for this.
Thanks all.

It's not upto you to compensate for how crap your manager is. They need to understand and manage the problem and they will ultimately be responsible if they don't do something on an interim basis to support the issues.

That said, as a senior manager be part of the solution and help them to understand it in terms of what can be done in the right timeframes or where things can't be done/will have to wait. Establish with them the priorities and what's a must do, and a reporting structure so that they can monitor progress - i.e. "I didn't know, you didn't tell me". Follow up your conversations with emails summarising the plan of action.

Identify someone in your team who might be able to take on some additional responsibility in the interim on a short term basis, to cover the priorities. Work out the cost of this and show the benefit, as opposed to the cost of it not being done

Thanks @woopdewoop. I had wondered about the ‘acting up’ route. I think I’m just doubting myself, as all the solutions we offer are simply shut down. ‘Just manage to do it all. I don’t really care how’, is the answer to all the solutions we offer. I’ve been keeping a list of deadlines, with priorities, etc., which I email to my manager weekly. I think I may start including HR in this, given the complaints from the top.

I do appreciate all the help offered.