Mansplaining

[Grammarist]

Just had a discussion with the ever-lovely DH where I mentioned that a female friend of mine (an eminent Professor in her field) was a target of mansplaining via a live TV interview recently.

DH exploded at me. Mansplaining apparently isn't real and I shouldn't think that it is...

Hmmm.... I think he may be doing it to me. Dick

[Thegoodthere]

Oh my god. Way to miss the point, @SH

[Thegoodthere]

What does that even mean?

[TheActualAlexa]

Just an opinion- and observation that people who don’t like the term often employ it. However, I’m not going to fall into the trap of attempting to myself mansplain some kind of mechanism for it!

[ALargeGinPlease]

Perhaps Streetwise would like to "explain" why sex and gender are the same thing (tomahto/tomayto).

[53rdWay]

Oh yes SmileEachDay, I love those ones. “As a man who has spent about fourteen minutes thinking about this issue, let me explain to you so-called feminists how your carefully constructed theories of structural oppression are wrong. What? I AM TOO a feminist, how very dare you tell me otherwise, you bitches.”

[Thegoodthere]

Ha, perfect!

[StreetwiseHercules]

“It’s not. They mean different things.”

You are correct, but I’m not really interested. I think if you have a penis you are most likely a man and if you have a vagina, a woman.

The debate where people tie themselves in knots over it doesn’t interest me. That’s not me being glib, just honest.

[Thegoodthere]

I'm shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you.

[StreetwiseHercules]

“Perhaps Streetwise would like to "explain" why sex and gender are the same thing (tomahto/tomayto).”

They aren’t.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

You didn’t address my point because it didn’t resonate with you. Fine. That’s because you’re a man, who has no idea of my reality. It didn’t resonate with you because you’re not the one having your toilets and changing rooms invaded by men, who say their penises are female and have female bodies. Some of these men are dangerous. Need I say it?? You are mainsplaining.

Just one example of what’s happening out there. Got this off Twitter. It’s in Bangor.

[JacquesHammer]

You are correct, but I’m not really interested

Mansplaining perfectly encapsulated in one short sentence.

[StreetwiseHercules]

“That’s because you’re a man, who has no idea of my reality. It didn’t resonate with you because you’re not the one having your toilets and changing rooms invaded by men, who say their penises are female and have female bodies. Some of these men are dangerous. Need I say it?? You are mainsplaining. ”

But I agree with you about that. So what are you talking about?

[SmileEachDay]

Indeed 53rd - often accompanied by a list of Ways You Must Feminist Better that usually include centering men.

[StreetwiseHercules]

“Mansplaining perfectly encapsulated in one short sentence.”

Yes, no woman could ever take such a view. 😐

[SmileEachDay]

*“It’s not. They mean different things.”

You are correct, but I’m not really interested. I think if you have a penis you are most likely a man and if you have a vagina, a woman

The debate where people tie themselves in knots over it doesn’t interest me. That’s not me being glib, just honest

Yeah, that’s not why sex/gender are different pumpkin.

I ❤️ “You are correct but I’m not really interested”. There’s a lot going on in that sentence.

[echt]

I think we're feeding someone here.

The faux-naive approach, bordering on the thick as mince is quite common.

[JacquesHammer]

Yes, no woman could ever take such a view

Feel free to start your own thread thereon.

Rather than trying to use a segue because you’re struggling to mansplain why mansplaining isn’t a thing.

[SaturdayNext]

Surely you have brought him up to be able to stand on his own 2 feet?

He is 6 years old.

Surely you plan to bring him up to be able to stand on his own two feet?

[CheerioHunter]

IME the worst examples of mansplaining aren’t during a mutual debate/conversation. They’re when a man feels the need to impart his wisdom, completely unsolicited, because he’s a man and must know best.

Fair point, it just seems to be a "catch word" at the moment (from the outside anyway, since I've not actually had it aimed at me [yet!], just seen it mentioned lots, and a few times didn't think it really fitted the argument) that gets rolled out in what seems like irrelevent moments.
Or even where a guy is just genuinely explaining how something looks from his perspective, not to try and say its right, or change the other person's view but just to add how it comes across etc?

Like a lazy retort. I'd sooner be on the "losing" end of an indepth debate where both people realise its just too different perspectives, where I'll probably learn something and maybe even the other party does a little too rather than just hit a "mansplaining" wall.

But I guess like you say, if it was that sort of debate where you'd be learning something, the people should notice the difference in intent anyway.

[53rdWay]

It's the faux-naivete plus the smugness coming off in waves from the "I will use their own terminology of 'gaslighting' and 'protected characteristics' against them, that'll surely lead them to short-circuit in their own confused logic while I sit back smugly with my hands folded behind my head and congratulate myself for yet another morning on Mumsnet correcting the ladies!" that tipped it off for me.

I have no problem with men on Mumsnet in theory, but God some of you are not great ambassadors for your 'protected characteristic' in practice.

[ethelfleda]

God I love the women of mumsnet. When I go grow up I want to be like you!

[JacquesHammer]

Or even where a guy is just genuinely explaining how something looks from his perspective, not to try and say its right, or change the other person's view but just to add how it comes across etc?

Again that comes back to whether it was solicited though.

My very first experience of mansplaining happened when I was 14. I was watching the rugby with my dad. A decision was made, I was discussing with dad as to why I thought (correctly) it was incorrect. Guy behind me leaned through and said “don’t worry love, offside can be tricky”.

THAT is mansplaining. The overreaching view that penis = knowledge that far outstrips any knowledge a woman might have. Especially prevalent in traditionally “male” pursuits.

[StreetwiseHercules]

“'s the faux-naivete plus the smugness coming off in waves from the "I will use their own terminology of 'gaslighting'”

You don’t own the term “gaslighting”. I’ve been gaslighted by a man to the point he ended up with criminal convictions.

[JacquesHammer]

Oooops missed a bit. Dick then went on to try and explain the intricacies of offside to me.

[StreetwiseHercules]

“I have no problem with men on Mumsnet in theory, but God some of you are not great ambassadors for your 'protected characteristic' in practice.”

In theory. Lol.

I’m not here to be an ambassador for anything. I don’t belong to a tribe. I just disagree with you about something. Can’t you take it?