Mansplaining

[Grammarist]

Just had a discussion with the ever-lovely DH where I mentioned that a female friend of mine (an eminent Professor in her field) was a target of mansplaining via a live TV interview recently.

DH exploded at me. Mansplaining apparently isn't real and I shouldn't think that it is...

Hmmm.... I think he may be doing it to me. Dick

I just disagree with you about something. Can’t you take it?

No. No, I can't take disagreement. It makes me collapse into a fainting pile of pink hormones and girlish gasps.

It’s sex. Not gender. Please, please stop calling it gender

I prefer gender. I'll say gender. You can say sex, if you prefer. Please don't police other people's use of language.

Can't you take it?

And there it is, attempting to shut down the discussion by implying we can't handle it.

Smile did you see that Twitter bloke the other day who was going to write an article for Vice about how paying for sex enhanced his own feminism, and then got all narky and "well SOME of us actually RESPECT sex workers!!!" when feminists objected?

“I have no problem with men on Mumsnet in theory, but God some of you are not great ambassadors for your 'protected characteristic' in practice.”

What’s this “we”? Did you make that up? I clearly directed the comment to an individual.

I don’t like the term “mansplaining” and I said so. The response had been rudeness and hostility from some individuals. So I asked one that question.

What on earth could your problem be with that?

IME the worst examples of mansplaining aren’t during a mutual debate/conversation. They’re when a man feels the need to impart his wisdom, completely unsolicited, because he’s a man and must know best.

This is exactly it. I have never used the word mansplaining after a debate or discussion, only when rolling my eyes and laughing with other females in the office after they witness a male with no training whatsoever in my area of expertise sharing their usually completely irrelevant ‘advice’ with me. Funnily enough, it never seem to happen to the much less qualified and experienced male colleague who works for me.

What on earth could your problem be with that?

I told you. It's my hormones. I'm just not capable of the same kind of logical, rational analysis that you are.

But I agree with you about that. So what are you talking about?

Well you didn’t really, did you? I was your post of 9.14 and Smileeachdays response to it.

a) you said most bepenised people are male. Wrong. Some are transwomen. All are anatomically male.

b) you said you’re not really interested in it.

c) you get huffy about your “protected characteristics” as a male.

And from those 3 comments I am to deduce you agree??

Furthermore we are supposed to respect you being a man but you don’t wish to extend the same courtesy.

Again that comes back to whether it was solicited though.

I agree, your example was a private conversation that just happened to be in a public area. Even if he agreed with you it would have been rude, unless you had been involving him in previous discussions, in which case it's a little greyer.

It's just most examples that Ive seen tend to be on public Internet forums, which by their nature I believe are there for everyone to come in and give their input, it seems that if it doesn't back up the OP it's often thrown out rather than like (I think you, but may not have been) said, the two parties seeing the other side and "thrash it out" - Perhaps years of dealing with genuine, blantent mansplaining has led to a frustration to get involved in the debate side, but I fear its equally becoming that "Nazi" moment, as soon as its mentioned the arguments lots.

Quite often I've stopped myself commenting on a few things, I wasn't going to attempt to tell anyone they were wrong, or should change their view, but just express how and why people could be viewing what they said in a particular way, but thought I couldn't be bothered with the back lash that I was "trying to preach" or was another "mansplainer" just went off to sit on the sofa with my legs spread as wide as possible

“I told you. It's my hormones. I'm just not capable of the same kind of logical, rational analysis that you are.”

You play to the sexist tropes if you wish. I’ll leave you to your tantrum.

I prefer gender. I'll say gender. You can say sex, if you prefer. Please don't police other people's use of language

It’s not policing. They just mean different things, it’s not about preference.

53rd yes I did 😂😂 He’s a peach, isn’t he? learning so much from paying to put his cock in women.

You leave me to my hysterical girlish tantrums, and I'll leave you to your daydreaming about just how furious you'll be the day that an adult woman accuses your 6-year-old of mansplaining, as clearly all women are just itching to do.

Meanwhile, back at the actual conversation...

You play to the sexist tropes if you wish. I’ll leave you to your tantrum.

I believe it was sarcasm with a side of cynicism rather than a tantrum.

yeah, I liked it when someone asked him what he is precisely paying these women he's 'seeing' to do, and he got all coy and said he didn't want to talk about his private life

“Well you didn’t really, did you? I was your post of 9.14 and Smileeachdays response to it. ”

I do agree with you. I have little interest in trans issues and my prevailing view overall is that it’s a complicated thing for a very tiny minority and given far too much prominence in societal debate.

Do I think people with penises are Male? Yes I do. Does trans status confer female status onto men? Anatomically no, they are male. Beyond the physical can they truly be female minded? I dunno, but I have no reason to disbelieve them.

So I am willing to concede that trans people have an element of the gender they transition to within them, hence my use of the word “mostly”.

But I can’t say it keeps me awake at night or even lung enough to read much about it.

I also liked his attempts to insist that the women interacting with him were SWERFS despite the eleventy million posts saying that it was HIM being excluded from feminism 😂😂

Streetwise

That STIlL isn’t why sex and gender are different.

“I believe it was sarcasm with a side of cynicism rather than a tantrum.”
Potayto, potahto.

“That STIlL isn’t why sex and gender are different.

I couldn’t give a flying feck.

Potayto, potahto.

Well actually, it's spelled P-O-T-A-T-O...

Whoosh.

I believe the correct US English spelling is POTATOE.

Whoosh

No, no, I understood what you were saying with your potaytol/potahto thing.

The response has been rudeness and hostility from some individuals

You came onto a forum frequented predominantly by women and told us how society actually is and that we women saying otherwise are wrong. You only have the experience of being a man and cannot possibly know how it is from out perspective yet chose to impose your POV. If you actually wanted to learn something you would listen to us. Can you really not see why you’ve been getting the responses?

And what exactly is your motive for posting on this thread?? Because apart from your response to my last post I cannot see that you want to add anything positive. However as an aside I’m glad to see you albeit disappointed that rather like my husband you cannot see the implications for your daughter.

SH

It wasn’t over her head.

You don’t do nuance or subtlety, do you? Or linguistics, actually.