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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Mansplaining

349 replies

Grammarist · 23/02/2019 00:53

Just had a discussion with the ever-lovely DH where I mentioned that a female friend of mine (an eminent Professor in her field) was a target of mansplaining via a live TV interview recently.

DH exploded at me. Mansplaining apparently isn't real and I shouldn't think that it is...

Hmmm.... I think he may be doing it to me. Dick Smile

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
MerdedeBrexit · 23/02/2019 12:59

#MeToo, NothingOnTellyAgain Grin

Userplusnumbers · 23/02/2019 13:01

Where do mansplainers get their water?

From a well, actually.

picklemepopcorn · 23/02/2019 13:06

I wrestle with an invitation I send out to retired professionals, their spouses, and the widows and widowers of the professionals. It's a heck of a mouthful, and used to be addressed to 'professionals, wives and widows.'

BartonHollow · 23/02/2019 13:13

I was considering starting a thread on this - how odd

I work with two such possessors of penises who belief this entitled them to drone on at length about whatever interests them whether you care or not, tell you things about your specialty or area of interest that you already know whether you need or want them to or not and will interrupt your stories in casual conversation to tell you THEIR anecdote you've reminded them of which is obviously worth interrupting you and yours for because they have a cock

It's totally a thing OP YANBU

(Posting having not RTFT)

BartonHollow · 23/02/2019 13:14

I wish autocorrect would stop fucking up my posts with bad grammar Hmm

ForalltheSaints · 23/02/2019 13:16

I think it is real but sometimes used as an expression when it does not meet the definition.

JacquesHammer · 23/02/2019 13:17

I wish autocorrect would stop fucking up my posts with bad grammar

I’m firmly of the belief that the autocorrect system is an arch-mansplainer. Always considers they know best and offers unsolicited advice.

BartonHollow · 23/02/2019 13:19
Grin
EwItsAHooman · 23/02/2019 13:24

Interesting article in The Guardian today on subtle (or not so subtle) ways in which the world is skewed in favour of men

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/feb/23/truth-world-built-for-men-car-crashes?fbclid=IwAR1HB8ciWpIRSVhU8x4RoVleUVeA75fDPXRyEQo3rNX5JC_ujJKcPPEiXXQ

NothingOnTellyAgain · 23/02/2019 13:25

Epic double mansplain

At work there was a man who was a bit sexist
We were talking about university degrees
I told him about one of my experiments I did - what it was
He said that's interesting how did it work
I told him I got this piece of equipment and I built that piece of circuitry and I measured the other distance and what-have-you
He listened and when I stopped he went quiet for a few seconds then said
OH! I know what you did! You blah blah blah
And he started explaining it all back to me
And I said, are you explaining my own experiment that I actually did, back to me? And he went quiet

Anyway

Few days later at mum and dads house
My mum said something about "mansplaining" have you heard of that
I said oh a bit
She said has it ever happened?
I said well funnily enough, I was talking to a sexist man at work the other day and this ^^ happened
And after I finished the story, my dad said
Oh no no you've got him all wrong. You misunderstand. What he was actually doing was... blah blah

So I listened and then I said, so you've just explained to me, why I'm wrong about a situation, that I was in and you weren't, about a man that I know and you don't.... That's kind of mansplaining really. And it's a bit gutting that you would instinctively side with and defend a man you have never met rather than your own daughter who is sitting right here in front of you.

A lot going on with that!

The second part was actually quite eye opening.

User6949671 · 23/02/2019 13:34

At work there was a man who was a bit sexist
We were talking about university degrees
I told him about one of my experiments I did - what it was
He said that's interesting how did it work
I told him I got this piece of equipment and I built that piece of circuitry and I measured the other distance and what-have-you
He listened and when I stopped he went quiet for a few seconds then said
OH! I know what you did! You blah blah blah
And he started explaining it all back to me
And I said, are you explaining my own experiment that I actually did, back to me? And he went quiet

Maybe he was making sure he understood, many people talk stuff back to make sure they understand. Some people can only remember things if the do, some find it hard to follow so repeat to ensure understanding.

Bit of a jump to 'mansplaning'

Feelinguilty77 · 23/02/2019 13:35

user please stop misspelling mansplaining. It's making you look even more of an idiot.

User6949671 · 23/02/2019 13:38

Nice to know a conversation dissolves on to be calling when you have nothing constructive to say. Sad really.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 23/02/2019 13:39

"Maybe he was making sure he understood, many people talk stuff back to make sure they understand. Some people can only remember things if the do, some find it hard to follow so repeat to ensure understanding. "

HA!

Epic triple mansplaining!

Man who wasn't there and doesn't know anything about the man involved, thinking that they can explain why the woman who was there and knows the man must be wrong / have read it wrong / got the wrong end of the stick Grin

Thank you user!

A great example of a man thinking he knows better than a woman about something where he has much less knowledge, in this case, the lack of knowing the man, hearing the conversation.

EwItsAHooman · 23/02/2019 13:40

Nice to know a conversation dissolves on to be calling when you have nothing constructive to say. Sad really.

There have been lots of constructive posts, it's just that yours haven't been any of them.

User6949671 · 23/02/2019 13:41

Good lord. The man explained nothing to you ml he literally reitarated what you said. Where the heck is the issues. Knowing the dude or not your story was a poor example of something your trying to defend.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 23/02/2019 13:41

It's a classic dismissal of a woman's evidence (her word, her experience, her telling of something that actually happened to her)

In favour of giving a random man the benefit of the doubt.

As we all know, or most of us anyway, this dubiousness of what women say, and knee-jerk desire to defend other men, causes women immense problems the world over.

This thread is really very very good.

ghostyslovesheets · 23/02/2019 13:47

Brexit is not a thing - end of

did that fix everything? I hope so

JacquesHammer · 23/02/2019 13:48

User my aforementioned example was the tip of the iceberg.

I have been involved in rugby watching, playing and coaching (dual-qualified) for well over 20 years. I have played at a far higher level than any of the guys I coach with. And yet a certain hardcore group of men will always need to speak to the male coach, won’t want to accept what I say (and will by the male coach).

I’ve often had the “oh can I speak to the head coach”, “that’s me”, “no I didn’t mean the assistant” etc.

I’ve had guys whose experience with rugby amounts to sinking 7 pints in the clubhouse on a Saturday ask “are you sure that’s right love”.

Ad infinitum.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 23/02/2019 13:49

Thanks ghosty!

I feel much more relaxed now Grin

User6949671 · 23/02/2019 13:50

I have been involved in rugby watching, playing and coaching (dual-qualified) for well over 20 years. I have played at a far higher level than any of the guys I coach with. And yet a certain hardcore group of men will always need to speak to the male coach, won’t want to accept what I say (and will by the male coach).

I’ve often had the “oh can I speak to the head coach”, “that’s me”, “no I didn’t mean the assistant” etc.

I’ve had guys whose experience with rugby amounts to sinking 7 pints in the clubhouse on a Saturday ask “are you sure that’s right love”.

But that's not the issue. That's just being rude and ignorant of facts!

SmileEachDay · 23/02/2019 13:51

User
Why are you so keen to dismiss the experience of women on this thread?

PregnantSea · 23/02/2019 13:55

I think it's a sexist term and I don't like it. If someone is being patronising then just say so, you don't have to stick "man" in front of a word to make it a different, somehow "worse" sin when a man does it. That's just childish and sexist. Women can be patronising too. It sounds like you're a little bit patronising to be honest OP.

JacquesHammer · 23/02/2019 13:55

But that's not the issue. That's just being rude and ignorant of facts!

It absolutely IS the issue. They don’t ask the male coaches to speak to their superiors. They don’t suggest to the male coaches they might be wrong because watching the Third 15 on a Saturday makes them an expert.

Or are you really arrogant enough to suggest you know better than my 20 plus years of experience.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 23/02/2019 13:57

Oh another good one!

Remember that actor bloke, was it matt damon? on a thing about racism in hollywood/ films
INTERRUPT a black woman who was in the middle of talking to explain why she was wrong and what the real issues were

Grin

What a complete twat.

I'll see if I can find it.