Mansplaining

[Grammarist]

Just had a discussion with the ever-lovely DH where I mentioned that a female friend of mine (an eminent Professor in her field) was a target of mansplaining via a live TV interview recently.

DH exploded at me. Mansplaining apparently isn't real and I shouldn't think that it is...

Hmmm.... I think he may be doing it to me. Dick

User6949671, what about EwItsAHooman's c-section example there? Do you see why a man correcting two women who'd had sections, about a procedure he clearly knew nothing about and did not have the anatomy to ever experience first-hand, is being used as a (hilarious btw) example of what we're talking about?

No I don't. Women do this all the time.
"I watched one born every minute blah blah blah"
It is not exclusive to men, it isn't man splaning.

I wouldn't say that it's only because we think we matter the most as men.

I believe that we as men are much more hierarchicly thinking and are used to dominate each other. Women on the other hand are not included. They can be safely dominated without the fear of repercussion. If they react, it's often dismissed as being oversensetive or irrational.

The other thing is that being competent is a trait we men believe is essential for finding a partner. That's why men tend to lie more then women or appear overconfident.

Maybe I'm wrong, but this is how I see it

“I believe that we as men are much more hierarchicly thinking and are used to dominate each other. Women on the other hand are not included. They can be safely dominated without the fear of repercussion. If they react, it's often dismissed as being oversensetive or irrational.”

In my workplace I see a lot of middle aged women dominating and belittling younger women and when they react it’s spun as them being over sensitive, millennial, immature etc.

Women do this all the time.
This was two women discussing their experience with a third. The third would then be in the minority having not had that experience. In contrast to a man, this third woman will have the benefit of having a uterus, experience of menstruating and may have also procreated.

It is extremely unlikely that a woman in this situation would have the audacity to challenge the other two. She would see herself to be in the minority and bow to superior knowledge. At the very least she wouldn’t challenge the women seeing herself to be at a disadvantage in a way the man clearly did not.

Verdict : mansplaining.

I often think I know best, and recommend solutions to people's (Male and female) situations. When they say they already know, I accept it. I don't keep trying to prove the benefits of my idea.

I am enjoying the examples, thank you

Streetwise
There I will agree with you. However societally it’s elders before betters with man at the top of the pyramid.

It is extremely unlikely that a woman in this situation would have the audacity to challenge the other two. She would see herself to be in the minority and bow to superior knowledge. At the very least she wouldn’t challenge the women seeing herself to be at a disadvantage in a way the man clearly did not.

Erm no. I have come across and been in the situation in more than one occasion and I can catagoricaly say it did not end like this.
Men can do the research and come to a conclusion just as a woman can.
Men can know more about the subject of 'womans things'
Just because you have had an experience it dose not make you correct.
I do not expect that as man splaning. Maybe annoying but nothing a good eye roll won't cure.

Just because you have had an experience it dose not make you correct

Well quite. Irony much?

User
Situations like what. Are you female?

Erm no. I have come across and been in the situation in more than one occasion and I can catagoricaly say it did not end like this.

You have more than once been in a situation where a woman who hadn't had a c-section told you that you are wrong about c-sections because they only involve one external cut and don't cut into the uterus?

Men can do the research and come to a conclusion just as a woman can.

Something tells me this particular man had not, in fact, done the research.

even the woman that coined the phrase says that woman do it to. meaning that the phrase itself is inaccurate

I actually think it’s very accurate to describe a particular situation.

Women of course can be patronising too. The two behaviours aren’t mutually exclusive.

I saw a good example of mansplaining on LinkedIn recently.

Female lawyer posted about a newspaper headline saying "don't act like you are on a stag do top QCs told" ( story was about a female barrister who'd posted advice on twitter) saying that the headline was unhelpful as it showed a subconcious bias that all top QCs were men.

A man (not a lawyer) replied saying something like "actually you are wrong, that's the words the barrister used".

Original poster replied pointing out the man was wrong and that the Twitter barrister had not even mentioned QCs, she'd just posted to men generally and had only said "don't act like you are on a stag do" and the newspaper put the QCs in - using QCs to = men when in fact there are lots of QC women. Newspaper perpetuating the bias that all senior successful barristers were men.

Man responds again - of course not acknowledging he got it totatlly wrong - but complaining that the female lawyer's tone suggests she wasn't interested in friendly debate.

This to me is the real essence of mansplaining - a man being patronising to a woman (particularly on subjects that the woman in question is likely to know more about) and then when their error is pointed out rather than admit it or face up to the fact that (shock horror!) a woman is right and they are wrong - start attacking the woman for her tone or other peripheral demeaning irrelevancies.

I'll have to see if I can find a link to it but I'm not sure if you can viewed Linkedin posts unless you are a member.

@lizzie48 that’s a really interesting observation - do you recall any examples?

Its a very real and specific thing.

But the term does seem to get overused, or used by someone who doesn't actually realise what it is.

You have more than once been in a situation where a woman who hadn't had a c-section told you that you are wrong about c-sections because they only involve one external cut and don't cut into the uterus?
Yep. And with woman who have and have not had the procedure. And about many other aspects of childcare, birth and hospital experience.
Woman can be nasty not just talk down.

I hate the term “end of” and must also point out that people, who use “end of” as a means to justify an argument lack critical thinking skills and the ability of in depth analysis. I advanced searched you and see it’s likely you are a woman and look genuine. So I figure we are going to have to agree to disagree User.

I advanced searched you and see it’s likely you are a woman and look genuine.

Why would my argument not be genuine as a man?
Agreeing to disagree works for me :)

Yep. And with woman who have and have not had the procedure.

Seriously, you have met more than one woman who thinks that caesareans don't involve cutting into the uterus? Who told you that you were wrong for saying caesareans involved that? And these were women who'd had caesareans?

"nothing a good eye roll won't cure"

The biggest and in fact only weapon women and girls have against dickheads
Roll our eyes at each other behind their backs
You can't do it to their face obv because many would get vv angry!

Anyway we've been using this weapon really hard for millennia and nothing seems to be "cured"? There are still dickheads everywhere.

User
I didn’t mean genuine because you are a woman. Genuine because you seem genuine. I think my words were a bit harsh to you it’s something my mother says to me and she’s horrid to me. But I’m glad you didn’t take it to heart. 😊

Nothingontelly agreed
Love the username. Very apt as they now have tv as a platform to reach the masses and massage their fragile ego!!

@saccade

Well, one example is references to elders' or pastors' wives. That presupposes that elders and pastors must by definition be male. (Sadly it's still true in a lot of circles.)

One church I've I attended refused to use the new edition of the bible translation they had always used because the new edition employed inclusive language.

I had an epic double-mansplain once if anyone wants to hear about it?

I do!