Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to have a big celebration for our 10th anniversary?

120 replies

PoppingBubbles · 20/02/2019 13:21

It's a non point right now, as we have a couple of years to go yet. However, am interested if it's the 'done thing'?

I've seen quite a few threads saying it's not OK to do it, and no one cares as it's not seen as a 'special' one.

I think it is though, and love a good celebration. We don't get enough of them in this lifetime I think Grin

WIBU to do something special? Party / meal / something else. Has anyone else done something nice to celebrate? Or attended one they enjoyed?

OP posts:
FudgeBrownie2019 · 20/02/2019 16:16

Friends of ours renewed their vows on their 10th wedding anniversary and had a huge party. It was lovely and a great celebration.

I have a rule that I only go to the weddings and parties of people I truly love, so it's always fun and I'm always happy celebrating with them, though, so perhaps only invite people you think are going to join in your celebration and not sit in a corner with a mouth like a hens arse judging you.

Drum2018 · 20/02/2019 16:19

I wouldn't go. My attitude would be why do they think anyone should give a fuck about their anniversary. It would seem like another excuse to get presents for a non event. Anniversaries are for celebrating between the couple. Nobody else cares. I'm over 20 year married. It wouldn't occur to me to have a celebration and invite people. We go away ourselves.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 20/02/2019 16:20

I would celebrate the anniversary as a couple and find another pretext for a big party to host (e.g. new years party). Anniversary parties feel like you're asking everyone to make you the centre of attention - I think people (other than very close friends or family) don't have the energy to make each couple the centre of attention as often as every ten years.

Topseyt · 20/02/2019 16:33

If it floats your boat then do it.

We are not party animals here. The only wedding anniversary we have ever celebrated was our 25th last summer, when DH and I went on holiday together, our first holiday with just the two of us in over twenty years. Most of the other anniversaries we have simply forgotten about.

My parents have only ever celebrated their 25th, 50th and 60th anniversaries. Just with close family really. They too forgot all others.

SilverySurfer · 20/02/2019 16:36

The last anniversary party I attended was for my Uncle and Aunt's 70th wedding anniversary, in the year before they both died. I'm not sure I could get excited about a party for a 10th anniversary.

FuzzyShadowChatter · 20/02/2019 17:24

We did a big celebration for our tenth - well, big, it was less than 20 people, but big by our standards. The only present was an engraved photo frame one relative gave us which she was going to send anyways before she found out we were planning a party.

We had a lovely meal out, had a good time dressing up and getting the kids in adorable outfits, and got to see some people we rarely see together and talked for ages. I'm not sure if anyone else was excited about it, but I'm really glad we did it. We've lost quite a bit of our family since so having those memories and photos of them happy and all together has been nice and a real help during the hard times.

Meralia · 20/02/2019 17:31

We just had a takeaway and watched a film, we did have a 4 month old though, so were knackered!!

If you want to, why not? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate.

areyoureallysaying · 20/02/2019 17:33

*I have a lovely photo from the night of DM, DG, DD and me. It was the last time we were all together because, very sadly, my DM died suddenly a couple of weeks later, then my DG followed her just months later.

I'm so glad we had that lovely evening all together.*

This, you just never know what is round the next corner in life take the opportunity to celebrate and spend time with those you love

MiniEggAddiction · 20/02/2019 17:33

It really depends how you go about it. If you just plan a meal out or similar with close friends and family - people you know would be delighted to get together and don't make it all about you and your ten whole years of marriage then why not?

If you want a big event with loads of mention of your marriage (which won't be all that interesting to anyone but very very very close family). I think unless you had a disastrous wedding or eloped or something then you need to wait until at least the 20th. People like an excuse for a party (if it doesn't cost them too much time and money to attend) but they're not that interested in other people's marriages. I think in a lifetime you get to have a wedding and one or at the very most two public celebrations of that wedding.

FancyPantsMcGhee · 20/02/2019 17:40

I've always wondered why anniversaries are not celebrated more than, for example birthdays. I had very little to do at my own birth, and my survival for another year, whilst I'm pleased about it, involved no special effort on my part. I'm not sure the same can be said of another year of marriage with its ups and downs and its giving of myself to another person.

ID81241 · 20/02/2019 17:48

I would go if I liked the couple and knew they threw good parties! Why not? The sort of people judging on here wouldn't likely go anyway and you wouldn't want them there bringing down the mood so I say go for it.

Original poster
PoppingBubbles · 20/02/2019 18:28

Some pretty strong views of reasons not to do it.

We wouldn't start a slideshow presentation of our 10years together, whilst every sat in hushed silence.Grin

Just a simple get together, because it's fun. Quite like the BBQ idea actually, as it's a summer anniversary.

OP posts:
Original poster
PoppingBubbles · 20/02/2019 18:29

everyone

OP posts:
DaphneBlake101 · 20/02/2019 18:34

I worried when my husband said he wanted a party for our first anniversary but my mum said I should celebrate every year because it was an achievement. We make a fuss every year but then I'm from a family that loves any excuse to have a party!

Lllot5 · 20/02/2019 18:37

Yeah why not? Any excuse for a party. If you’re worried about gifts tell people not to buy you anything just turn up.

elliejjtiny · 20/02/2019 18:39

We didn't have a party for our 10th but it felt like a big deal and dh got me a nice necklace with the date on one side and our dc's initials on the other.

HelenaJustina · 20/02/2019 18:45

We had our first night away post DC for our 10th anniversary. But didn’t expect anyone else to join in the celebrations.

We might make a bigger deal at 20yrs as I’ll turn 40 within 3 weeks of that happening. But it’ll still just be us, maybe a week away.

Think the done thing is 25yrs plus to have a larger celebration.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 20/02/2019 18:53

DH bought an eternity ring and booked a night at the very expensive hotel where we spent our wedding night. It's our 20th this year and he's got something in mind but not a party. We'll have a party for our 25th I think. I've been to a couple of parties for 20th anniversaries though.

Rainsunwindhail · 20/02/2019 19:34

I throw parties at the drop of a hat but other than a 50th birthday, the occasion is usually quite tenuous and just an excuse. I’d throw the party and when you do an informal toast to everyone you mention you’ve been wed 10 years. Enjoy the party and the laughs but a 10 year anniversary is only a big deal to the couple themselves.

timeisnotaline · 20/02/2019 19:41

I really see it as a couple milestone, it’s not about anyone else. Dh & I are going away for a childfree weekend for ours.

Alfiesmom74 · 20/02/2019 19:46

For our 10th wedding anniversary we went on holiday for a week just the 2 of us. It was absolutely perfect and lots better than a big celebration. Sun, sea, sand and lots of ssssssangria!!!

Roussette · 20/02/2019 19:55

We've held lots of parties here, big ones with lots of ppl, but never for an anniversary because it's between the two of us and anyone I know would find it seriously weird to come to a party here for our anniversary

And we've been married over 30 years. Big birthdays, yes. Wedding anniversaries, no no no.

Skincaresos · 20/02/2019 19:56

Sorry op but it's just...cringe. 10 years is not a big milestone, it's not a long time to be married imo. Anything under 25 years and I'd assume either the couple had had some serious rough patches, or were attention seeking (barring serious illness etc). Otherwise 10 years is just a normal anniversary to me.

thecatsthecats · 20/02/2019 20:47

Thing is, if you have a party for everything, it sort of becomes never ending. If all of the weddings I had been to in the last five years had 10th anniversary parties, it would be one every few months for another five years. Half of those people have children and we get invited to first birthdays, christenings etc. Our 10th will coincide with many people's 40ths.

It's just too many fixed date/focus celebrations for my liking. I prefer seeing friends more casually. Last year was all our wedding events, and I'm done for that now!

CountFosco · 20/02/2019 20:48

I think it's a shame we don't do more of these celebrations. We didn't do anything for our 10th because we had 2 under 3 at that point so planning a party when I was still not STTN seemed a task too far. I don't think my family would travel for that. Didn't have naming celebrations for the kids either for the same reason.

I think having a big formal event is unnecessary but a more relaxed affair with family and close friends? Why not.