To share what my Smear nurse said?

[LellowYedbetter]

On Friday I went for my smear ... after two weeks of dreading it. The embarrassment, the awkwardness, what if I smell? What if the nurse thinks I look weird down there? What if .. what if ... what if ...

Well I got there and sat down. The nurse made small talk about unrelated stuff and then sighed and said “I’ve got 12 smears today, all one after another! I’m going to be smeared out by the time I leave work!”

Ok so apart from the “smeared out” comment making me laugh like a giggling school kid I IMMEDIATELY relaxed. This procedure that is a nightmare for the patient is just one of many jobs on that nurses list. There are at least 11 other women having their smear today with this one nurse. As if this nurse is going to remember the smelly fanny of patient number 3, or the hairy legs of patient number 1, or the fat belly of patient number 8 ... it made me realise that although the procedure is a massive deal for the patient, to the nurse it’s just another 20 minute appointment. It helped me. And I’m posting this hoping it might help others?

I have never understood the fear of the smear. But I've been "poked and prodded" so often and had invasive fertility tests and treatments that I don't see a smear as difficult. I'd rather have a couple of minutes of discomfort than major surgery to remove a tumour and months of chemo … if you're lucky to have it caught in time.

@PlumPorter

I don't think you're the only one here who avoids these for completely uncosmetic reasons. I recently had my first one in 20 years. Luckily all is well but if that particular doctor ever leaves the practice I may never have another.

I was a nurse for 26 years. I trained in cytology at a centre of excellence in the north west.

I have to say, having done hundreds +++ smears, that even I have all the feelings (personally) that the OP cites. I hate getting my bits out for any medical examination. Full stop. However, as a professional, I was just focussed on the ladies in my care. I’d chat if they wanted to, or just be all “let’s get this over with” if that was required. The important thing was emphasising before they left the surgery that it was absolutely the right thing, to attend for the test; that no one likes it but....it COULD potentially be a lifesaver.

Ladies, always attend and encourage others to attend.

"I must I admit I'm genuinely baffled as to why anyone dreads smear tests; they don't bother me at all"

Then you're lucky.

For some of us they are painful and very difficult

For those of us with various gynae conditions (I have endo) they CAN be genuinely painful and cause significant bleeding. I have to request a small speculum each time and explain that it's painful - not just that I'm a wimp who's worried it MIGHT be I KNOW it will be cos I've been having them over a 30 year period and they always have been. I also have to explain I have a wonky cervix that makes it hard to do. Also the bleeding (which I can't help although at least one nurse has seemed to think I did it deliberately!) means sometimes the sample is unusable and I get called back for another!

"When people say it is painful, do you mean that the pain last longer than the actual smear itself?" For me it can go into the next day! Cramps, soreness, I also have big labia and they've often been "nipped" or "caught" by accident which leaves me feeling bruised.

I have a very high pain threshold probably because of the endo and other health issues in addition most pain killers do sod all for me. Even anaesthetics. I've had 2 mc, 3 surgeries, umpteen gynae exams, a 28 hour induced labour with no pain relief ending in an emcs and I HATE going for smears. I go (family history of cervical & related cancers) but I dread it and I hate it. I've tried numerous methods to head off the difficulties to largely no avail.

Biscuitsneeded - still felt scrapey to me! Please don't dismiss others experiences - we get enough of that from certain medics! We're not saying they ARE scraping we're describing how it feels and you don't know how it feels to us. I've also found it makes my bleeding worse.

I also have a friend who is a rape survivor and she finds them very distressing and always takes someone with her and never uses a nurse she doesn't already know and even then she needs to take a Valium first to get through it. I've been the one to go with her a couple times and she gets very distressed, and sobbed throughout. Took hours for her to calm down after - so please lose your "bafflement" and consider not everyone's experience is the same?

I'm glad they aren't for most people, and as an ex nurse the op is spot on in that the nurse won't be at all phased by the look or odour of your vagina and surrounding area (providing you're clean of course). They don't care if you're hairy or not, if you're plump or slim, if you have big labia or not etc so on that agreed women really need not worry at all.

And most women will experience discomfort at most and it's a fairly quick procedure.

I'd advise making it a skirt/dress day if possible and a Bridget Jones pants day too as you MAY need to wear a pad and if only for any excess lube and you may well feel more secure with comfy pants and personally I tend to go slip on shoes on days like this and I won't wear tights (I always find if I have to take tights off then put them on again which has happened when I've forgotten to take a spare pair for things like this or swimming they feel "backwards" or "twisted" when I put them back on.

Punxatawney - PLEASE put in a complaint about that nurse she clearly needs further training

"I don't understand. Who the f gets this scared about a smear!" Jesus READ THE THREAD and maybe just try and develop some empathy & compassion I appreciate you may find this difficult.

I think they should be renamed, Smear is a horrible word, Cervix check or something would be better.

I kept putting my first one off. Then I was in hospital with loads of pain. They were trying to establish the issue. Gynie Doc pulls curtains round, 'when was your last smear?' Eh never!
I'll do one now I wasn't in position to say No.

Poor nurses and GPS having to deal with bodily smells, stinky arses, sweaty bollox, cheesey feet, sweaty fannys, armpits,...all in a days work!

MeadowHay I read your post as that your baby was a few months overdue.

I tutted and awww'd in sympathy and then thought "eh?"

Congrats on the baby.

EdtheBear
I think they should be renamed, Smear is a horrible word, Cervix check or something would be better.

I think they're running a smear campaign

*Finds coat and wanders offstage.......

I think it's called Cervical Screening now.

I wasn't in position to say No.

You should NEVER be in that position with s medical professional. I hope you put a complaint in.

Poor nurses and GPS having to deal with bodily smells, stinky arses, sweaty bollox, cheesey feet, sweaty fannys, armpits,...all in a days work!

I couldn’t do it 😷

Ed, you could have said no. You can always decline medication intervention. What do you mean you ‘weren’t in a position to say no’?

PurpleDaisies, as much as I didn't want it, esp in a hospital ward, with just curtain for privacy. They needed to get to the bottom of where the pain was coming from and rule out what they could, gynie / ovary issues.

So I couldn't say no, nor did I complain.

It eventually turned out to be a burst appendix. Incidentally a friend went it for an appendix op which turned out to be an ovarian cyst giving pain not the appendix.

Did you give your informed consent? Lots of people agree to procedures they’d rather not have because they know they need them. That’s not the say as “not being able to say no”. You could have said no.

Lots of people agree to procedures they’d rather not have because they know they need them. That’s not the say as “not being able to say no”. You could have said no.

Quite. It’s quite an allegation to say “I wasn’t in a position to say no” or “I couldn’t say no”, if what you mean was “I didn’t like the thought of it and would have preferred not to have it but knew they would get useful information from it they could use to help me so I consented”.

To PP who’ve queried smears when overweight or obese: it can be more difficult to carry them out when a patient is overweight as it’s harder to get into the right position, harder to get the right angle if there’s a lot of excess fat (usually the regular consulting room beds are fairly narrow!), and sometimes the walls of the vagina can actually collapse in around the speculum a little while can make it hard to visualise the cervix. One tip nurses I know have mentioned is to cut the end off a condom and place it around the speculum, the latex holds the walls back from collapsing in around the instrument and can make it a bit easier.

Lots of procedures are more challenging with an overweight or obese patient though, not sure what a nurse would have to gain telling a patient there and then that it’d been harder because of their weight when they can’t exactly lose it there and then, unless they were just explaining why the test might have been unsuccessful or need to be repeating (and I guess for some they might not have realised they’re that heavy and it could be a wake up call).

Brilliant!

Had mine today, was a little uncomfortable but over in less than a minute

Fingers crossed don’t need another one for 3 years!

Please go and get your smears lady’s!

No

That’s a no from me too.

I don't have this screening test and it's not because of embarrassment. It's because its not fit for purpose and has a false positive rate of over seventy per cent. This has resulted in thousands of women having unnecessary treatment and believing they had "pre cancer" when they did not.

forwomenseyesonly.com/old-blogcritics-unnecessary-pap-smears-comments/

margaretmccartney.com/2012/04/10/womens-hour-cervical-screening/

margaretmccartney.com/2013/02/05/women-cervical-smears-and-manipulation/

That's very upsetting to hear Ed no woman should ever be forced into a position of not being able to say no! There are such things as rapist and abusive doctors in practice, rushing you into an unnecessary gynae check is an MO of theirs. Never ever should you be put in such as position of not being able to say no and it turned out to be an unnecessary procedure. What on earth did he expect to see by seeing your vulva, vagina and cervix!

A scan maybe, but wtaf?! I hope you were chaperoned and asked for proper consent,otherwise report his arse, to stop him doing this fanny gawping to other women.

Where can one find proper stats on the efficacy or otherwise of smears?

www.bmj.com/content/326/7395/901.full?ijkey=kndK1dePPBERM

Margaret mcartney has lots of info in her book the patient paradox. What I found is that the risk of cervical cancer is actually very low (less than 1 per cent) and the peak mortality age is 85 plus, yet the screening programme ends at 65.

Cervical cancer is not common at all and women are not given the facts to make informed decisions. I suspect financial incentives are partly responsible for pushing this screening.

www.cancerresearchuk.org/health-professional/cancer-statistics/incidence/common-cancers-compared#heading-Two

I'm a nurse ducky and believe me we see that many tuppees and winkys that its just the bloody norm! Everybody's different but that's not a bad thing.

I am bedbound and my nurse came in wearing a head torch and carrying a massive torch 😂. I immediately burst out laughing, the nurse gave me my first smear just after I got married and has done every smear since, she is lovely, friendly and hilarious!

I suppose there is the fear at the back of your mind that a nurse is going to reel back, horrified, and screech, "I've never seen one like that before!"

Actually as a nurse I'd be dreading smelly people. I have a particularly excellent sense of smell (can't see a thing, though!) and if anyone had not had a bath or shower before coming in I'd be gagging.