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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To share what my Smear nurse said?

302 replies

LellowYedbetter · 20/02/2019 12:53

On Friday I went for my smear ... after two weeks of dreading it. The embarrassment, the awkwardness, what if I smell? What if the nurse thinks I look weird down there? What if .. what if ... what if ...

Well I got there and sat down. The nurse made small talk about unrelated stuff and then sighed and said “I’ve got 12 smears today, all one after another! I’m going to be smeared out by the time I leave work!”

Ok so apart from the “smeared out” comment making me laugh like a giggling school kid I IMMEDIATELY relaxed. This procedure that is a nightmare for the patient is just one of many jobs on that nurses list. There are at least 11 other women having their smear today with this one nurse. As if this nurse is going to remember the smelly fanny of patient number 3, or the hairy legs of patient number 1, or the fat belly of patient number 8 ... it made me realise that although the procedure is a massive deal for the patient, to the nurse it’s just another 20 minute appointment. It helped me. And I’m posting this hoping it might help others?

OP posts:
ineedsomeinspiration · 22/02/2019 12:33

Last smear I had was the first one I've had when not on contraception. Before I've always found them uncomfortable, bleed (nurse has commented how much) and get a period like ache afterwards but this last time i didn't even know the nurse had done it and none of the other bits either.
Not suggesting anyone should stop contraception and it may have been a fluke but I was suprised at the difference.
On a lighter note I once somehow manged to shoot the speculum back out at the nurse!

sprouts21 · 22/02/2019 12:59

www.stylist.co.uk/life/cervical-cancer-scandal-ireland-england-explained/207077

Another scandal. This time women were not told they had cancer.

impossible · 22/02/2019 13:04

Thanks for this - it's helped me. Putting off my smear for ages but will make an appointment.

Smotheroffive · 22/02/2019 18:46

I was going to day I'll stop bothering having smears based on non of it being cancer anyway and risk so small but I just checked the cancer research site who say (I direct conflict with pp here) that CIN 3 is also referred to as CIS. As you know ALL ABOUT everything cancer you should know what that is (it means carcinoma in situ - just in case you didn't!)

So when you told another poster she never had cancer, wind your neck in

Smotheroffive · 22/02/2019 18:51

Oh and BTW, the test (according to cancer research, but who are they to know anyway), also tests for GCIN, which I'm sure you will know is adenocarcinoma, not as common, but cancer nonetheless and very dangerous left undetetected and untreated.

It doesn't seem to be true according to CR that cell changes are no longer tested for but only the HPV virus.

2terrified · 22/02/2019 19:21

I always remind myself that a smear test is better than a visit to the dentist

Blimey, some people obviously have a very different experience of either the dentist or smear tests than I do! I'd rather go to the dentist 100 times over than have one smear test (yes, even if it only lasts a couple of minutes.).

Even if you have to have something potentially painful done at the dentist (eg a tooth extracted) they numb the area (or at least they have done for me and I never asked for any special pain relief so assumed that was standard). Whereas with
smear tests it's the most excruciating pain you could imagine and there's no numbing or pain relief offered. I take painkillers before I go but it doesn't seem to make any difference.

2terrified · 22/02/2019 19:30

It doesn't seem to be true according to CR that cell changes are no longer tested for but only the HPV virus

The letter I was sent after my recent smear test said that my sample had tested negative for HPV so they didn't need to carry out any further tests on my sample.

Smotheroffive · 22/02/2019 19:30

It's a bit of a theme isn't it, if men go through the process too there always pain relief on offer, but anything female related, nope, scream all yer like we'll just tell you to pipe down or you'll be upsetting the other patients unnecessarily!

DobbyTheHouseElk · 22/02/2019 19:39

2terrified that’s what mine said too. But maybe the pp on here know better than the NHS.

Smotheroffive · 22/02/2019 19:43

Check it with CR, that what they say (as I said before, it conflicts with what pp saying)

Upsy1981 · 22/02/2019 19:47

I was once told I had a lovely looking cervix, which weirdly made my day! Its worth going just for a compliment 😄

Smotheroffive · 22/02/2019 20:13

The unremarkable is equivalent to 'normal' and a positive not a negative!

You wouldn't want a remarkable cervix!

Pp asked about cervix, and whether you can tell if youve had a baby, you can tell if youve had a vaginal miscarry or birth by the cervix being less conical and more like a donut Grin

PurpleDaisies · 22/02/2019 23:10

It doesn't seem to be true according to CR that cell changes are no longer tested for but only the HPV virus.

Can you link to this?

Primary HPV screening means just that. First look for presence of HPV. If present, look at smear for cell changes. The nhs site I linked to above clearly describes it.

PurpleDaisies · 22/02/2019 23:12

From the cancer research website...

What screening is carried out in the UK?
Cervical screening usually involves a smear test, which takes a sample of cells from the surface of the cervix and looks for changes that could develop into cancer using a microscope.

But because virtually all cases of cervical cancer are caused by HPV, the more sensitive approach of testing for the infection first is being brought in by the NHS. The new programme will first test samples for HPV, and then follow up by looking at the cells which test positive for HPV using a microscope to see if they look abnormal.

The switch to HPV primary testing was made in Wales in September 2018, with England due to follow by the end of 2019 and Scotland in January 2020. No decision has been made about cervical screening in Northern Ireland.

Rabbitmad89 · 22/02/2019 23:15

I had my first ever smear on Thursday and it was quite painful but over quickly thank god! Now I’m just more anxious about the wait for the results.

ShesABelter · 23/02/2019 00:11

I cancelled mine today as my aunt's new partner called to say he was the gp carrying it out and it could be rearranged with someone else if I weren't comfortable so I have it changed to Monday with a different GP. I already dread them due to a horrific previous experience when I haemmoraeged after a cone biopsy. The doctor checking me before my op used the metal speculum and was so rough it. I already have issues due to sexual abuse at 7. So that made things even worse. I feel a bit violated sometimes.

So the thought of it being done by someone I see every couple of weeks and is my aunt's boyfriend really made me uncomfortable.

Stormy76 · 23/02/2019 00:13

God imagine having to do 12 smears.....that’s 12 vaginas that you have to get eyeballs on to ! Way to many vaginas

Dohee · 23/02/2019 00:28

I'll try to find the last letter I got, but the letter stated 'high risk HPV'. This was after my last smear (I'm guessing mid last year sometime). I then had a colposcopy and a biopsy as the doctor doing the colposcopy wasn't happy. I then got a letter about 2 weeks later saying that all was good and I don't need another smear for 3 years. Confused
That was last year, in England, so they certainly have rolled it out here now.

Smotheroffive · 23/02/2019 01:18

high-risk strains of HPV lingers in the body, it can cause abnormal cells to develop in the cervix. These precancerous changes do not mean that you have cervical cancer. But over time, the abnormal cells may give way to cancer cells WebMD think there's such a thing as precancerous cells
CIN3 is also referred to as CANCER IN SITU by CR.

I will go find the link I referred to earlier as this is really confusing that cancer cells are not even being looked for now, as adenocarcinoma is very dangerous, not as common...will go look...

Smotheroffive · 23/02/2019 01:20

Cervical glandular intraepithelial neoplasia (CGIN)
Your biopsy results may show CGIN. This means there are changes to the glandular cells that line the inside of the cervix. Without treatment these cells could develop into a type of cervical cancer called adenocarcinoma.

CGIN is less common than CIN, but is treated in a similar way.

Surfingtheweb · 23/02/2019 01:26

I don't know if I'm weird but I've never worried about a smear test? I had my 1st one at 18 as they did them when you had your 6 week check after having a baby. I don't smell, I shave my legs, I'm all clean & tidy & go in & get checked out to make sure I'm healthy. I'm really surprised that anyone worries about having them done? The only bit that bothers me is the tummy ache for the day after it's done. Surely once you've had kids you don't care what medical person has a look down there 😂 or maybe I'm just weird 😂

Smotheroffive · 23/02/2019 01:35

You're not weird no, but once you've had a baby it does change things very often quite significantly in terms of modesty pre-birth.

Equally though no-one else is weird for hating them, or not wanting to go as they haven't had a baby yet, or feel pain....etc...its all on the thread. Also, its completely not normal to open your legs for complete strangers, yeah, there is that.

PlumPorter · 23/02/2019 03:17

I don't smell, I shave my legs, I'm all clean & tidy & go in & get checked out to make sure I'm healthy. I'm really surprised that anyone worries about having them done? ... Surely once you've had kids you don't care what medical person has a look down there

FFS. Are some people being deliberately obtuse or what?

If you don't understand why people don't like getting them done, then read the fucking thread!

The only bit that bothers me is the tummy ache for the day after it's done.

So you accept that it's not a pleasant experience? And you're not lacking in imagination?

So read the thread and apply your knowledge of a bit of a tummy ache for a few days to other people's descriptions of pain and discomfort and then you might begin to understand.

I feel I've said my bit enough now but I don't care who sees my fanny. It's very pretty fanny. I have it on good authority that it is a 'pretty fanny'. It smells nice - as a fanny should. I keep myself 'neat' but I don't wax. I shave my legs. I have absolutely no shame or embarrassment in how I look, smell, whatever 'down there'.

I am still not having a smear!

Smotheroffive · 23/02/2019 03:23

Different lives, isn't it, completely.

Seems bizarre though that others can't accept its different for them.

PurpleDaisies · 23/02/2019 06:58

I will go find the link I referred to earlier as this is really confusing that cancer cells are not even being looked for now, as adenocarcinoma is very dangerous, not as common...will go look...

It seems counterintuitive but this way of doing it saves more lives than looking at cells first. Adenocarcinoma is very very rare and not worth screening for on a population level.