Ex-preemie mum and pregnant friend

[Ihavealwaysknown]

I know I’m being unreasonable but just wanted a rant.

DD is a former 33 weeker. Very, very scary end to the pregnancy and a tough start to parenthood. Anyways a friend is currently pregnant and has been asking for advice and tips throughout pregnancy. Today she hit 33+1 and sent me a message saying ‘I’m now more pregnant than you’ve ever been’

🙄 I know this probably wasn’t meant to upset/offend and is a fact, but she knows I’m already (like many other preemie parents) frustrated that my body couldn’t carry dd to term. Should I just take it on the chin, ignore and move on, or point out it was a little insensitive?

Interesting because I find that describing “ex-preemie” and “former 33 weeker” as insensitive. And being unsure of whether they were 33 or 34, weirder still.

Could you elaborate please @Yabbers? I have heard this terminology used by parents in this situation, so would probably use it myself but wouldn't want to cause offence.

Very odd thing to say but unless she has form for being a prick, I’d let it slide. It just sounds like a really stupid throwaway comment something would say and not mean much by.

Make her a medal out of tinfoil with the word BITCH on it and present it to her saying 'congratulations, you clearly win at pregnancy'
Because that's a horrible thing to say.

Yanbu. She would have received a reply from me simply saying “and your point is”.

What’s wrong with preemie ? When referring to their prematurity I still call my dts ex 30 weekers it’s what most parents and paediatric staff do.
I hope you’re ok op, that message was really unkind.

Yanbu. My twins were born at 34 weeks and I would be gobsmacked if a friend sent me a message like that. It’s just really weird. It’s not a “who can gestate the longest” competition ffs!

Actually I've got fairly good grounds for being unsure if DD1 was a 33 or 34 weeker. She was born toward the end of week 33, about 10 minutes after midnight and the clocks had just gone forward the previous day - about as borderline as you can get as if we'd not switched from winter to summertime the previous night she'd have made it into week 34!

I think I'd have had to respond with "I'm happy for you that you are. Having a poorly premature baby is the most stressful thing I have ever been through and I wouldn't wish it on anybody, but I don't particularly need reminding of it either."

That or

"Fuck off Mother superior."

I would just text back saying, thank you for reminding me about such a horrific time in my life, I am pleased to see that my pain and suffering means nothing to you. Please don’t contact me aga8n for at least a month to allow me to recover

@Ivealwayskknown

Probably the same way as I would’t find what your friend said insensitive.

We all have our own journey and for some of us preemie never ends.