AIBU or is my FIL a massive CF?!

[Crummyfunnymummy]

Ok, so this happened a while back but I’ve never forgiven him! (Though this is meant to be a bit lighthearted). While I was on maternity leave with DC2 PIL asked if they could stay the night. They live a couple of hours away and were visiting relatives who live another 5 hours drive from us (so a 7 hour journey for them). They wanted to stay the night here to break up the journey. Fine with me. My MIL does loads for us and we get on well. My FIL is fond of food so I bought in croissants and posh jam so I could make them a nice breakfast. I should also add that on Mat leave I survived on sugar! Looking after my 2 DC during the day while my DH was at work and BF my DC2 during the night meant I was exhausted. So I had bought myself a delicious triple chocolate muffin and was saving (and very much looking forward to) it for my breakfast the next day. My PIL were going to stay the night, get up, have brekkie and get on their way. I got up and asked my FIL if he would like me to make him a croissant. Ooh yes, says he. Would you like it warmed?, I ask. Oh yes, lovely thanks. I set about croissant warming. Erm, could I have a piece of toast while I’m waiting?, asks FIL. Of course!! I make him some toast with aforementioned posh jam, then a few minutes later a lovely big warm croissant. Anyway, they get on their way. DH goes to work. I run around tidying up, giving DC their brekkie etc. Finally I sit down at about 10.30 with a cuppa and my lovely delicious triple chocolate muffin (I’ve not eaten yet. Muffin is my breakfast. I know, I know, not the healthiest but hey ho, I’ve been up 2 or 3 times to BF in the night and have a looooong day ahead). I open breadbin. Muffin is not there. I look in the cupboards (has somebody moved it maybe??!) Nope. Not in cupboards either. Am starting to panic now. Where is delicious triple chocolate muffin?!! In desperation I ring my DH. Have you eaten it? Have you hidden it? Er no, my DF ate it, was his reply. WTAF??????? cry I. Why? Why did you say he could have it?! I am distressed. DH knows this muffin is key to the day’s survival. Why has he wantonly given it away? Apparently he didn’t give it away. No. My FIL ate it and then told him afterwards - having obviously gone through my cupboards and breadbin on a food hunt!!! Which actually is (a) rude to do in someone’s house I think and (b) just greedy! I’d already made him a croissant (warmed!) and toast (with posh jam!) and it’s not that they hung around for ages after breakfast and got hungry again. They got on their way not long after breakfast. DH said it wasn’t a big deal. Muffins don’t cost much. It was a big deal to me! As you can probably tell as this was 4 years ago and I’m still not over it!! Lol! I was upset about the muffin but I think it was more the greed and bloody audacity of having been put up for the night and made a nice breakfast he then went scavenging through my kitchen, found a SINGLE muffin (triple chocolate!!!!) and didn’t imagine someone might be saving it but just thought he’d help himself! I wouldn’t have minded if there had been 2 but there was only 1! Tell me he is CF of the highest order and IANBU to be fuming! Still!!!!!

[JustOneShadeOfGrey]

Kathulu these have GOT to be the cheesy crisps from Tandragee. Hanging offence!!

[Myfoolishboatisleaning]

TL;DR: the most boring thread on the whole internet.

[Crummyfunnymummy]

angelikacpickles I had bought two muffins two days before. I had one for breakfast the morning of the day they arrived and saved one. I bought the croissants the day they arrived so they would still be fresh in the morning. They LOVE croissants (it’s their holiday breakfast thing) so I was trying to be nice! Also MIL is always trying to lose weight, whereas I was BFing pig who did not care what I ate! Muffins for me as part of survival kit. Croissants, nice bread and posh jam for them as special holiday breakfast. I didn’t hide the solitary muffin and that is the problem!

MyKingdomForBrie I do think I provided basic hospitality. We also cooked them dinner and provided wine the night before. The muffin (of triple chocolate variety) was in fact left over from before their arrival. And CLEARLY BEING SAVED BY BFING MUM!!! FIL also was given thick slice of buttered toast with lovely jam as well as croissant. I don’t think that’s measly!

StoppinBy what is wrong with people???!!! How dare he find it funny!! But while I might help myself to a bowl of muesli in their house, I absolutely would not take the last bowl of muesli or the last of anything. I do think it rude to go on a food hunt AFTER someone has fed you in their home. If I was desperately hungry I might look about and on finding MORE THAN ONE muffin, I would then ask PIL if ok if I had one of them. If only one left I wouldn’t dream of eating it. Or even asking to eat it! Clearly that is intended for someone.

[Gth1234]

Hey OP

I think you are being unreasonable. It was probably not intended by your FIL. Your OH should tell his dad how it affected you, and your FIL will then send you a box of Krispy Kremes. In fact if he doesn't, your OH should do it for him, and keep the peace that way.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

When I was an operating theatre nurse, back in the late 80s, if we worked through lunch, Theatre Sister would order in sandwiches and, because the surgeons would be out of theatre before the nurses, she used to make sure she put sandwiches aside for the nursing staff, in bags without names on.

One registrar was known for scoffing any food he could find, including the sandwiches put aside for the nurses, so we could find ourselves with nothing to eat, after being scrubbed for hours and then cleaning and tidying theatre, whilst the greedy fucker had eaten our food and was long gone.

It wouldn’t be a problem now, as hospitals all seem to have shops and cafes that are open all the time, but back then, the only places to buy food were the dining room and the cafeteria, and they weren’t always open. If you missed lunch time, you were going to have to go hungry. And the greedy bastard surgeon knew this - and still ate our sandwiches.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Not that I am bitter or holding a grudge.

[ThreeAnkleBiters]

YADNBU a similar thing happened to be with a snickers bar. When family are visiting I'm happy for them to help themselves but I think it goes without saying that one off things aren't to be touched (e.g. grab a couple of biscuits from the tin but don't eat my solitary snickers bar, waiting to be consumed during nap time with a cup of tea). Next time they break up their journey with you plan a delicious home made muffin filled with laxatives in the bread bin (I'm mainly joking with that one).

[DiscoMoo]

Over 20 years ago I had an argument with boyfriend of the time (I can’t remember what it was about) and he upset me. To make amends, he bought me a chocolate Easter egg in the shape of a little duckling. I appreciated the gesture and put the chocolate in the fridge to be enjoyed at a later time.

However when I went to retrieve the chocolate 90% of it had been eaten - the only thing left were the duckling’s feet. Said boyfriend had helped himself because ‘he didn’t think I wanted it’. He didn’t last much longer and I’m still not over it. He didn’t even save me the head!!

[alfagirl73]

YANBU!

I have images of an anonymous card being sent each year on the anniversary of the theft, simply saying "I know what you did..."

[lisasimpsonssaxophone]

if you visited your parents house wouldn't you feel comfortable eating from their cupboards or fridge?

Yes, I would help myself to teabags and milk, or bread/butter/jam to make myself some toast as long as there was plenty of everything left. I might help myself to a biscuit if there were some lying around, although I’d ask before opening an unopened packet in case they were being saved for something.

I’d never in a million years go hunting in their cupboards and eat a single, solitary muffin that I found, without even asking if it was OK!

[DishingOutDone]

Turn it round this way. One of your DCs saw a single cup cake in the fridge and without asking simply stuck it straight in their gob. I bet MN would be out in force saying that the child was greedy and needed to be punished. But I bet I am not the only one that has noticed that ILs can often do no wrong on here!

[ViolaD77]

I just dunno what it is about relatives, they see their visit as an opportunity to be fed and act like greedy pigs like they haven't been fed for a year. They must be like my relatives, they know you give them the good stuff (posh jam etc) so they make the most of it and scavenge and because they're amongst family they think you will ignore the embarrassing greedy behaviour 😟 hate it. When my dad's side of the family visit I refuse to let me husband attend because its embarassing!