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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is my FIL a massive CF?!

112 replies

Crummyfunnymummy · 19/02/2019 20:43

Ok, so this happened a while back but I’ve never forgiven him! (Though this is meant to be a bit lighthearted). While I was on maternity leave with DC2 PIL asked if they could stay the night. They live a couple of hours away and were visiting relatives who live another 5 hours drive from us (so a 7 hour journey for them). They wanted to stay the night here to break up the journey. Fine with me. My MIL does loads for us and we get on well. My FIL is fond of food so I bought in croissants and posh jam so I could make them a nice breakfast. I should also add that on Mat leave I survived on sugar! Looking after my 2 DC during the day while my DH was at work and BF my DC2 during the night meant I was exhausted. So I had bought myself a delicious triple chocolate muffin and was saving (and very much looking forward to) it for my breakfast the next day. My PIL were going to stay the night, get up, have brekkie and get on their way. I got up and asked my FIL if he would like me to make him a croissant. Ooh yes, says he. Would you like it warmed?, I ask. Oh yes, lovely thanks. I set about croissant warming. Erm, could I have a piece of toast while I’m waiting?, asks FIL. Of course!! I make him some toast with aforementioned posh jam, then a few minutes later a lovely big warm croissant. Anyway, they get on their way. DH goes to work. I run around tidying up, giving DC their brekkie etc. Finally I sit down at about 10.30 with a cuppa and my lovely delicious triple chocolate muffin (I’ve not eaten yet. Muffin is my breakfast. I know, I know, not the healthiest but hey ho, I’ve been up 2 or 3 times to BF in the night and have a looooong day ahead). I open breadbin. Muffin is not there. I look in the cupboards (has somebody moved it maybe??!) Nope. Not in cupboards either. Am starting to panic now. Where is delicious triple chocolate muffin?!! In desperation I ring my DH. Have you eaten it? Have you hidden it? Er no, my DF ate it, was his reply. WTAF??????? cry I. Why? Why did you say he could have it?! I am distressed. DH knows this muffin is key to the day’s survival. Why has he wantonly given it away? Apparently he didn’t give it away. No. My FIL ate it and then told him afterwards - having obviously gone through my cupboards and breadbin on a food hunt!!! Which actually is (a) rude to do in someone’s house I think and (b) just greedy! I’d already made him a croissant (warmed!) and toast (with posh jam!) and it’s not that they hung around for ages after breakfast and got hungry again. They got on their way not long after breakfast. DH said it wasn’t a big deal. Muffins don’t cost much. It was a big deal to me! As you can probably tell as this was 4 years ago and I’m still not over it!! Lol! I was upset about the muffin but I think it was more the greed and bloody audacity of having been put up for the night and made a nice breakfast he then went scavenging through my kitchen, found a SINGLE muffin (triple chocolate!!!!) and didn’t imagine someone might be saving it but just thought he’d help himself! I wouldn’t have minded if there had been 2 but there was only 1! Tell me he is CF of the highest order and IANBU to be fuming! Still!!!!! Angry

OP posts:
lisasimpsonssaxophone · 19/02/2019 21:38

Also, I see your four-year grudge over a muffin and raise you the family legend of the relative who took an entire (raw) beef roasting joint out of the fridge and took it home with them. It wasn’t discovered until another relative went to prepare Sunday lunch the next day...

Original poster
Crummyfunnymummy · 19/02/2019 21:39

Noooooooo!!!!! Oh my. I don’t think my FIL would do this. Please say relative was beaten to death for this outrageous act!!!!

OP posts:
SecretLimonadeDrinker · 19/02/2019 21:40

Thanks @Crummyfunnymummy it's been longer then 4 years and I'm still not over it!

I hope your DH bought you a lots of muffins when he got home!

SecretLimonadeDrinker · 19/02/2019 21:41

WTAF @lisasimpsonssaxophone what a CF!

I think we're going to need more info!

IDoN0tCare · 19/02/2019 21:42

I will never ever forgive my Dsil and dn, for eating my chocolate sweets, that I had made MYSELF, from my fridge, during a family party. I had provided hundreds of pounds worth of food and alcohol, so all the 60 guests had to do was turn up! They were looking for milk and spotted them, THEN TOLD ME WHAT THEY DID!

The6 are the most amazing, supportive Dsil and dn that you could hope for, and I adore them.

BUT THEY ATE MY CHOCOLATE!

Never ever forgive them, OP! Always carry that tiny resentment in your heart, so you can add it to all other teeny tiny things that they will do, over the years. You can then draw on the power for an explosive argument, when it all builds up. lies down for rest, weeping over lost chocolate

Original poster
Crummyfunnymummy · 19/02/2019 21:42

Also, just to add, FIL thinks it highly appropriate to go on about how much MIL doesn’t like to be cheated on portion sizes! Which is true, but he is cunning sneaky scavenger and MIL would never do this (nor would I in their house)

OP posts:
Playmytune · 19/02/2019 21:42

Yanbu, he was a rude and greedy CF, with no right to help himself to what he wanted in your kitchen. I hope if they have come to visit since, that you have insisted he stay in a hotel.

@Kathulu I would find this much harder to forgive, stealing CHEESE XLs Angry then saying he didn’t enjoy them!!! (Mind you my English friends didn’t like them either, what is wrong with these people?). I think this crime should be grounds for divorce. No other crisp comes anywhere near to the deliciousness of these!
OMG, I need a packet and non left! Sad
I need to go and buy a box of Cheese XLs tomorrow!!

Everytimeref · 19/02/2019 21:45

I feel your pain. My DF stole my last chip. The crunchy one you leave to the end. It was over 30 years ago. I am not over it yet!!

DrPimplePopper · 19/02/2019 21:46

Next time he visits he must live in a box as punishment, like Chandler and Joey on Friends. Muffin stealing is as bad as girlfriend stealing.

Also I may have watched too much Friends today.

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 19/02/2019 21:48

I think once we had all got over the confusion about where it could possibly have gone (followed by a LOT of swearing) we all found it so bizarre that it became hilarious and we all just fell about laughing for the rest of the afternoon. It almost seemed worth it for the endless amusement it generated and I’m not actually sure if anyone ever properly confronted the beef thief about it (there seemed to have been some rather creative misinterpretation of ‘help yourself to anything in the fridge...!) We still talk about it today and it was years ago now!

Kathulu · 19/02/2019 21:48

@Playmytune - I have to buy some every time I go home - I get some very funny looks from the security staff on the ferry who open the boot to see one suitcase and 3 boxes of crisps. My youngest loves them too so they're rationed .

Original poster
Crummyfunnymummy · 19/02/2019 21:50

Hmmm DrPimplePopper am liking the box idea.....

OP posts:
greathat · 19/02/2019 21:52

Did you intend to just give someone one line croissant as a meal though? Surely not enough (this could be why I'm so fat)

Original poster
Crummyfunnymummy · 19/02/2019 21:55

Clearly there are a lot of CFs out there who think nothing of taking the last one of delicious food stuff obviously saved by its owner. And these seem to often be DHs or FILs! Worrying trend!

OP posts:
Aaaahfuck · 19/02/2019 21:57

I'm not surprised you haven't let it go! I'd be devastated!!!

Original poster
Crummyfunnymummy · 19/02/2019 22:00

Well greathat breakfast is not usually a big affair in our house. I thought coffee (nice plungy stuff obvs!) with fairly sizeable croissant and posh jam enough. But FIL could not wait 6 or 7 mins for croissant to warm up in the oven so had thick slice of granary toast with jam as prelude as well. Apparently with (delicious triple chocolate) muffin as breakfast dessert! ( not sure if I mentioned it’s delicious triple chocolateyness?!!) Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Crummyfunnymummy · 19/02/2019 22:02

Just had to eat a chocolate brownie as small recompense for lost muffin.

OP posts:
firawla · 19/02/2019 22:04

My dad does similar and eats any treats left in the house, and then he’d be like “oh I just tidied up and cleaned out the cupboard for you by finishing off that last muffin!”

Mrs9C · 19/02/2019 22:09

LOL!!! No way, how does one forgive a muffin snatch, too far FIL, toooo far!

fairgroundsnack · 19/02/2019 22:12

My FIL would definitely do this given half a chance. YANBU!

Missingstreetlife · 19/02/2019 22:19

Shoulda bought more muffins😎

SaturdayNext · 19/02/2019 22:30

Next time they visit, feed FiL nothing but stale bread and water, and tell him it's recompense for his chocolate muffin theft.

Iflyaway · 19/02/2019 22:31
  1. Don't be a maid to selfish people. (They make their own breakfast).
  1. Take muffins to your bedroom while hosting scroungers.

Unless you want to run yourself ragged. Don't be a people pleaser!

Iflyaway · 19/02/2019 22:33

Shoulda bought more muffins😎

Of course! Because that's the woman's job, right?! FFS

ReanimatedSGB · 19/02/2019 22:35

It does seem to be mainly a man thing, doesn't it? Cheerfully eating other people's food without asking, even when it's something that has been tucked away out of sight, or when it';s been divided into portions that are obviously intended to be eaten by more than one greedy fucker.