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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Restaurants

66 replies

Housingcraze · 19/02/2019 16:59

DP family go only to restaurant to socialise which is fine,

I can’t eat out due to achalasia, being in tolerate to oil/fat!

So DP expects me to sit their like a clown with his family, eating nothing. Just drinking!!!

For me I feel uncomfortable and just in unsupported!

AIBU to not go?
DP gets upset saying he wants me to be more supportive and come anyway!

OP posts:
girlwithadragontattoo · 19/02/2019 17:01

He wants you to be supportive of what?
Can't you check to see if they have a special menu or suggest someone that caters for you at all?
You could also take your own food and ask them to heat it up for you

Bluntness100 · 19/02/2019 17:03

I don't really know much about achalasia, but is there not a way you can speak to restaurants in advance and ask for a clear soup, or a dry salad or something?

starfishmummy · 19/02/2019 17:03

Well he's not being very supportive is he?

starfishmummy · 19/02/2019 17:07

Hmmmm

Brilliantidiot · 19/02/2019 17:11

Speak to a few restaurants near you and ask if they'd be able to cater for you when you book mine would if we had enough notice to order/prep stuff for you.
And if dp not willing to do that then don't go any more. Agree with pp he's not being very supportive himself is he?

ghostyslovesheets · 19/02/2019 17:11

sit like a clown? or - you know - talk and generally socialise with people?

Surely you can eat something? (forgive my ignorance) or just enjoy their company - you aren't being very supportive yourself - surely it works both ways

Original poster
Housingcraze · 19/02/2019 17:12

Prob is anything I eat goes through within 15/20 mins

They always go during busy periods loo aren’t always available.

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 19/02/2019 17:14

I'm confused

Heratnumber7 · 19/02/2019 17:18

How do you manage generally if anything you eat goes through you in 15 mins? How do you absorb enough "goodness" (as DGM used to say) from any food to stay healthy/alive? And why can't you use tie restaurant toilets?

That sounds unsupportive if me, sorry. But I'm intrigued about this condition I've never heard of.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 19/02/2019 17:18

Would you at all, sit in restaurant drinking coffee?

Had gallbladder removed, and can’t tolerate food! I ordered plain rice once, and I still ended up on loo like 4/5 times, missing conversations, I went spent 15.00 for nothing!

OP posts:
FriarTuck · 19/02/2019 17:21

Would you at all, sit in restaurant drinking coffee?
Yes, when I was in the 6th form I had an eating disorder so whenever my friends went to pizza hut I'd go and just have a drink. Wasn't a problem.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 19/02/2019 17:21

The toilets in restaurant are busy and disabled one always not free, it embarrassing, family are sitting socialise and I’m on toilet feel pointless being there.

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 19/02/2019 17:22

There’s not one single thing you can eat ever??

Original poster
Housingcraze · 19/02/2019 17:23

If it was Pizza Hut, mcds, Burger King, kfc, it ok but it’s always proper restaurant take forever to serve busy periods, anxiety severe, yet doesn’t get why I don’t wish to go, if it during quiet periods it not so bad!

OP posts:
explodingkitten · 19/02/2019 17:23

What do you eat at home?

tiggerkid · 19/02/2019 17:24

Don't know anything about achalasia and apologise in advance if this comes across as unsympathetic but is there really absolutely nothing you can eat in any restaurant at all?

anniehm · 19/02/2019 17:25

What do you normally eat at home? With notice mist independent or decent restaurants would speak to the chef who may love the challenge - or they may suggest you bring your own food (we did this prior to vegan food being available widely)

Original poster
Housingcraze · 19/02/2019 17:26

I don’t eat much, rice, dry toast, roast (but straight through)!

There no pattern! On anti anxiety pills.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 19/02/2019 17:26

Surely “proper” restaurants are better because they will be better placed to cater with advance notice?

Your last post just screams of you looking for excuses not to go tbh

TroysMammy · 19/02/2019 17:26

I thought achalasia was the regurgitation of food not food going through you like a Porsche.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 19/02/2019 17:27

It’s anxiety! I don’t know what to eat as everything goes through! Even coffee water juice alcohol! Protein drinks!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 19/02/2019 17:27

Do you get your food another way ie intravenously?

starfishmummy · 19/02/2019 17:29

I'm confused too, having looked achalasia up in the NHS website.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/achalasia/

weebarra · 19/02/2019 17:29

Me too. Are you on medication?

starfishmummy · 19/02/2019 17:30

Totally agree Troys it doesn't get to the stomach so can't go straight through