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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I need help, I’m in a mess and I can’t extricate myself

198 replies

hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 09:10

I’m in a complete and utter financial mess and have been for a long time. This is despite earning an excellent salary.

I know the usual advice is to contact stepchange etc but they can’t seem to help, I need someone who can.

I have acquired things like parking tickets which I’ve ignored and had a head in the sand approach to, easy as I’ve worked abroad for a while. So haven’t received letters etc.

Every month I am having hundreds taken off me by bailiffs. This isn’t step changes remit, that’s more cc/loan debt. Although I have those too.

My credit file is shocking or else I’d take a loan and sort it that way. Basically I owe a lot of people a lot of money.

I can’t seem to get advice anywhere. I was speaking to one company this morning but he couldn’t help as I earned too much. (So this isn’t a begging thread, I admit this is my fault but if I’m ever going to sort it I need help.)

Anyone legal about at all?

OP posts:
CustardySergeant · 19/02/2019 11:16

My thoughts exactly Hairyporker

Jackshouse · 19/02/2019 11:17

Have you tried ringing step change? Because this DOES sound like their remit.

UnderCaffeinated · 19/02/2019 11:18

Exactly, @justmyview this doesn't make any sense.

If the issue is stuff like council tax debt or parking fines, call up those departments.

Call your local council's council tax department and ask what you owe.

Call your local council, give them your reg and ask what parking tickets you owe, if they've got to debt collection or to court, ask for those details, they store them!

Call your local county council find out if there's anything you owe.

You need to seek out the debt that you're not sure about or don't know about and be proactive in this. You're choosing over and over again to be acted upon rather than face up to your actions.

Use something like noddle or Clearscore to make sure you can see all the debts you may have in terms of credit card debt or similar that may have been passed on to debt collection agencies.

Then give someone like step change a call, you'd have a comprehensive list of what you owe and you can do a thorough budget that accounts for everything. Seek out the agencies and provide them with a copy of the budget and what step change suggest you can reasonable afford to pay and then wait for responses. Take ownership.

Original poster
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 11:19

Ask mumsnet to confirm I haven’t had or sent any private messages.

I read reddit. I know that there are scamming trolls. I am not one of them. Even if someone had asked I wouldn’t have taken.

OP posts:
NorthEndGal · 19/02/2019 11:20

So did you manage to track down your debts?

Original poster
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 11:23

I know what I need to do and I am going to do it. Thank you. I’m sorry I could not Be more forthcoming with information there is a lot i don’t know

OP posts:
trulybadlydeeply · 19/02/2019 11:25

You have posted in AIBU, so it's not the place for advice, rather for people to tell you if you are being unreasonable or not. However I would also urge you not to take advice from any stranger over the Internet, I could post and tell you to do x, y, z, and that I am a debt advisor, but you have no way of knowing. It may be worth reposting in the Money Matters section though, to get the thoughts and experiences of those who have been in a similar situation.

I would also echo those who have said contact CAP. They will support those of all faiths and none, and I have had several clients who have really been helped by them, and found the service excellent.

It's good to hear that you have sorted the immediate issue, but now is the time to seek expert debt guidance, and sort out all the remaining debt. Good luck OP.

nauticant · 19/02/2019 11:26

Is there something that prevents you from not knowing your situation OP? Is it that you can't face going through the paperwork or for some reason you do not have access to it all?

Original poster
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 11:27

Just don’t have access to it all, which is admittedly totally my fault. I am not blaming anybody but me for this.

OP posts:
UnderCaffeinated · 19/02/2019 11:30

But you've been given advice over and over about how to access that information, and you've not really addressed it. There are plenty of lovely people on here who have been through similar things or are qualified to give advice on debt and if you allow them to help you they can.

Original poster
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 11:32

Yes but it isn’t relevant to me. If it was another type of debt kr would totally Ben relevant

OP posts:
Original poster
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 11:35

Thank you

OP posts:
VanGoghsDog · 19/02/2019 11:40

Try here: debtcamel.co.uk/

Hidingtonothing · 19/02/2019 11:41

I would feel completely overwhelmed in your shoes OP and, in my experience at least, the only way to dispel that feeling is to do one thing at a time and keep chipping away at it til you start to feel the weight lift. I spend ages trying to unpick things and find the 'perfect' place to start but all that means is that I simply don't start Blush It honestly doesn't matter, start somewhere, anywhere, every little bit of progress helps and will spur you on to the next, at least then you're moving forward. I totally get that 'paralysed' feeling though, it's bloody hard to do anything when you feel like that so well done for making a start Star

Original poster
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 11:42

Thanks hiding, that really was helpful Flowers

OP posts:
Springisallaround · 19/02/2019 11:42

You also did say you have council tax and credit card debts as well as historic parking fines- those debts will also spiral if you don't tackle them now, and end up in CCJs. I agree with tackling the ones that have already gone to court first...but this isn't incompatible with trying to sort out the rest either.

You can do this, horrible though it is!

Original poster
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 11:43

They don’t end up as CCJs for some reason

OP posts:
slashlover · 19/02/2019 11:44

Yes but it isn’t relevant to me. If it was another type of debt kr would totally Ben relevant

Why is writing to your LA and the bailiffs not relevant when that is who the debt is owed to?

You were asked for a list of your incomes and expenditure because it is easy to forget parts of it and because people can give advice about where to cut corners etc.

Blackbear10 · 19/02/2019 11:44

Oh dear Confused

I don’t know how anyone can help you unless you put in the work and list every debt you have. So start with a spreadsheet and list each company and then the amount.

You say you’ve worked out your expenditure so you know you have £700 in theory.

Tally up how much the debt spreadsheet amount is each month.

Work out who is most important to pay first, call each company and tell them you can pay x amount each month.

Pay x amount each month until debt is paid.

In that time don’t answer the door to bailiffs and don’t get into any more debt.

You sound like you want some one to sort it for you. Nobody is going to do that and you are fully capable of dealing with this yourself.

You need to open all letters, speak to each company and have a written record of exactly what you owe. Only then can anyone help you anyway.

I sincerely hope nobody has pm’ed you money, if they have please don’t take it. You are fully able to sort this situation and it really doesn’t sound that bad, you just need to take some responsibility and be bothered to do something about it.

Original poster
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 11:55

I have sorted it. No one can help but thank you, it is sorted

OP posts:
Original poster
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 11:56

No one has PMd me mumsnet will confirm and if they had I woul not take it

OP posts:
SaveKevin · 19/02/2019 12:00

@eliza9917
The historic debt department is a new government department to chase unpaid court payments, so exactly as the op is talking about, old parking fines and unpaid council tax payments that went to court that you didn’t know about or have ignored.
Mine I didn’t know about and it dated back to a court date in 2005.
It was a fucking nightmare to unpick and too three court appearances. But luckily I’m great with my paperwork and went racked with paperwork to present to the judge and it got thrown out.

I can’t imagine it’s a great way to spend public money given how stretched the courts are at the moment, but I get the premise of reclaiming it too. When I went there was another guy there doing it and he had loads that he hadn’t known about until the bailiffs knocked. I believe his got thrown out too

Original poster
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 12:03

Thanks Kevin really thank you so much

That’s exwctly what I needed

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 19/02/2019 12:04

I know what I need to do and I am going to do it.

Perhaps you would be kind enough to share how you sorted it so that others may benefit from what you have discovered.

There will be other people in debt looking for help and there are always lurkers on mn so if you have found a way to manage all these different debts with varying amounts which CAB or anyone could not help you with, it would be greatly appreciated by lots of people if you could tell them how you did it.

I think after the time and trouble people have taken here to try and help you maybe you could pay it forward? What do you think OP?