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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Could a 33 year old man really fancy me?

74 replies

Boomboom7 · 18/02/2019 14:11

Or is it a figment of my imagination? I am 44 years of age , years older than him! We are good friends but there seems to be a spark lately so I’m wondering if I’m deluded ? Big age gap for attraction is it not? I’m really not much to look at . Just average

OP posts:
JacquettaW · 18/02/2019 14:15

Why not? I'm a 33 year old female currently trying to catch the eye of a single 50 year old male colleague, why would it not be possible the other way around?

thebabessavedme · 18/02/2019 14:16

my dh was 23 when we started seeing each other, i was 33. still fancy each other 25 years later.

OfficeSlave · 18/02/2019 14:22

Entirely possible! Age is much more of a non issue at both of your ages. Smile

Original poster
Boomboom7 · 18/02/2019 14:32

I just feel so much older! I’ve kids and am bang in the middle of everything with them at the moment . He is fit and into the gym and handsome and I’m a little grumpy and nothing exciting but he seems to be hanging around a little bit more, bit touchy, complimentary , arranging coffee/ lunches etc , maybe it’s my imagination.. or wishful thinking!

OP posts:
RedBerryTea · 18/02/2019 14:35

My mother is 11 years older than her husband. They've been married 30+ years. He looks older than her now!

StarlightLady · 18/02/2019 14:37

There are much larger age gaps about in strong relationships. Just go ahead and enjoy!

NottonightJosepheen · 18/02/2019 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Genderwitched · 18/02/2019 14:40

I'm eleven years older than my DH. He claims to still fancy me Smile

AryaStarkWolf · 18/02/2019 14:48

11 years isn't that massive an age gap really, especially when you get to your 30's

Original poster
Boomboom7 · 18/02/2019 14:48

So how do I know if it is attraction and not just that he likes me as a person ? I can’t get my head around that he might fancy me .

OP posts:
Springwalk · 18/02/2019 14:49

Don’t be hard on yourself! Clearly there is something he likes. Enjoy it!

Fizzorgin · 18/02/2019 14:50

I've been with my DP nearly a year he was 33 when we got together and I'm early 40's Smile

Notasunnybunny · 18/02/2019 14:50

After my friend’s husband walked out on her and their two kids as part of some mid life crisis she her took a keen interest in her gardener from a distance. She got up the courage to ask him out despite him being single, childless and over ten years younger. I can’t remember how long they have been married now but they are still solid and the family has grown.

princessTiasmum · 18/02/2019 14:50

Yes of course,and its not all about looks,you have got to know eah others personality, which makes a difference i think

Bananasarenottheonlyfruit · 18/02/2019 14:52

Given that on average women live longer, it would actually make far more sense for women to have relationships with younger men, rather than the ‘traditional’ older man/younger woman set up. Which I am pretty sure only comes from a patriarchal, women are only for breeding type of society.

LightTripper · 18/02/2019 14:53

My Dad is 10 years older than my Mum. Together happily 45 years and counting. Why not? You're both well into adulthood and know what works for you and neither of you is likely to be taken advantage of. See what happens!

Swizzlefizzlefoo · 18/02/2019 14:53

Me and my partner of 12 years difference (I'm 41 he is 29)) seem have no problems in that regard , go for it!

LightTripper · 18/02/2019 14:53

Sorry, I mean the other way round - my Mum is 10 years older than my Dad!

Bananasarenottheonlyfruit · 18/02/2019 14:54

Meant to add that no one one would ever question it the other way round once people are adults.

Swizzlefizzlefoo · 18/02/2019 14:54

And yes stop being hard on yourself! I bet you are stunning!!

Tighnabruaich · 18/02/2019 14:54

If you like him and fancy him, why not give it a go? It may not work out for the long-term, but there's no guarantees on that anyway, no matter how old he is. You could have fun, and company, and a nice time. I wouldn't worry about it.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 18/02/2019 14:54

Deffo ! Mrs Robinson Grin

Swizzlefizzlefoo · 18/02/2019 14:56

Well ime you have to set you boundaries down from the start. Ie you are interested in meeting someone for a relationship but no interest in FBs, fwbs etc. Then take it slowly, date for a while and see if you like him enough to sleep with him.

Swizzlefizzlefoo · 18/02/2019 14:57

Btw if you think he fancies you he most probably does Smile you are picking up the signals. Enjoy!!

PaquitaVariation · 18/02/2019 14:58

It’s fine so long as you want the same things from the relationship. My friend was in a long term relationship from his mid-20s with an older woman, similar age gap to what you’re talking about. All was fine until he was approaching 40 and decided he wanted children. It didn’t end well. Just for dating? Go for it.