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AIBU?

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Original poster

Could a 33 year old man really fancy me?

74 replies

Boomboom7 · 18/02/2019 14:11

Or is it a figment of my imagination? I am 44 years of age , years older than him! We are good friends but there seems to be a spark lately so I’m wondering if I’m deluded ? Big age gap for attraction is it not? I’m really not much to look at . Just average

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 18/02/2019 14:59

I’m 37 and I have a 27 year old who constantly messages me (we have slept together once), I find it hard to believe that he fancies me, I don’t want a relationship with him but I do feel flattered. I also had a crush on a 52 year old a couple years ago.

I think it depends what you are looking for, if it’s just a bit of fun or if you want a serious relationship. For me I’m not sure if I could be in a serious relationship with someone 10+ years younger as I would always feel I wasn’t good enough compared to women his age or younger.

theharlotletter · 18/02/2019 15:01

I had a fling with a 22 year old when I was 33, and he honestly couldn't keep his hands off me Smile

WorraLiberty · 18/02/2019 15:01

My best friend is 15yrs older than her DP and they've been together for years.

Mind you, she was done having kids and he never wanted them, otherwise that might've made a difference.

Mushroomsarehorrible · 18/02/2019 15:01

I'm 44 too, OP, and yes of course it's possible. Not one to blow my own trumpet but I get my fair share of attention from younger guys. I'm happily married but if I wasn't..... Grin

Mushroomsarehorrible · 18/02/2019 15:04

Lovemusic33

For me I’m not sure if I could be in a serious relationship with someone 10+ years younger as I would always feel I wasn’t good enough compared to women his age or younger

I find that very sad. As I mentioned previously, I'm 44, same age as my DH... his long term girlfriend before me was 28. Doesn't bother me one bit and why should it.

cjt110 · 18/02/2019 15:06

Im 32. My husband is 47.

GinisLife · 18/02/2019 15:07

One of my close friends is 58, he is 38. They've been together at least 15 years. She is short and very round, he is tall and very skinny. Chalk and cheese but it must work. Only problem there's been is that he does look really really young for his age and people used to think he was her son and give them strange looks if they were holding hands.

couchplato · 18/02/2019 15:10

My mother is ten years older than my father. They have just celebrated their 48th wedding anniversary and are devoted to each other.

Go for it!

NottonightJosepheen · 18/02/2019 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 18/02/2019 15:11

What Paquita said. It is different when the woman's older if she's approaching the end of her fertility or at it and he wants kids. Seen this happen to several friends. Another one had a really good thing going with a man 12 years younger but she broke it off because she knew he wanted kids and she was too old to have them and felt it was selfish for him not to experience that (she had an adult daughter already).

lilydilly · 18/02/2019 15:12

Bloody hell woman!!! 44 is frikking young (ish!) I was hot as fuck at 44, and looked more like late 30's. (Mid 50's now and got a bit fatter and look my age more,) but I certainly was a regulation hottie at 44. If you had said the man was 21, I would be a bit dubious, but 33? Why not?!

Good luck Smile

Lifecraft · 18/02/2019 15:13

Who would want a Yamaha when they could have a Stradivarius?

apintofharpandapacketofdates · 18/02/2019 15:14

ooo OP!

I feel a lit like you in that i don't know how to read signals. What is the difference between being nice and fancying someone?

I dipped my toe a little after i separated but have stopped because i fundamentally don't believe i am remotely good enough. My DQ (dating quotient haha) is just too low.

So, whilst i am of this frame of mind, i am staying well away from men because i don't trust my judgement.

Sad really.

leigh39 · 18/02/2019 15:17

I'm 43 nearly 44 and my ex is 38 didn't split because of age gap .... most women go for someone older so why shouldn't us women be with who makes us happy regardless of age ... 10 years is nothing they say half your age plus 7 is acceptable but unsure where that's come from I use to google it as I was paranoid of age gap .. yet my first fella was 7 years older than me .. it's society that makes us think twice .. it seems he is flirting with you.. I would jump on it ( not literally ) lol ;)

Have a bit of fun

downcasteyes · 18/02/2019 15:18

apintof - Stop self-sabotaging! I am sure you are absolutely gorgeous! And I guarantee that you are already more than good enough. (And 'good enough' has nothing to do with experience or the number of people you have dated).

Same goes for you boomboom. He sounds like he's being as interested as possible within the bounds of appropriacy that currently exist - why not ask him if he would like to grab a drink one evening?

Adversecamber22 · 18/02/2019 15:18

On a night out when separated from DH a 28 year old gave me his number. I was flattered and I was 50, when people say they look younger I do but I still look about 40. Of course this was just a naughty offer. I didnt take him up on it. Ten years is fine. When I was 39 a retired General came to give a guest lecture at my workplace, he was close to 80. He is still the most handsome and magnetic male I have ever met in my life.

ShatnersWig · 18/02/2019 15:19

My ex was 11 years older than me when we met. I was 26, she was 37. We were together just over 10 years but frankly should have ended it after 5. Was amicable when we split but we'd long since become friends and nothing more as both wanted different things, mainly due to the age difference.

TeaForDad · 18/02/2019 15:19

Ask him out!

Tistheseason17 · 18/02/2019 15:20

Ooh, I hope this has a happy ending!

Highway · 18/02/2019 15:28

My Nan is 20 years older than her wife! Go for it OP, and keep us posted

carrotflinger · 18/02/2019 15:28

My ex was 10 years younger than me. He is an ex because of other issues, not the age. His family refused to accept the relationship however and this caused no end of upset and he had no idea what he wanted and had a drink problem.

Younger men can and do fancy older women. Just this week I was asked out by a man who is 15 years younger (said no) and another who is 12 years younger also showed a lot of interest. I am not ready for a relationship with anyone at the moment but would consider a younger man again. I haven't been put off by the problems with my ex.

Just a word of warning - if he does not know what he wants and starts changing his mind every five minutes, this can become tiresome. Also, he may see it as a bit of a fun and a fling, while you may be looking for something more serious (or vice versa)!

So proceed with some caution and see what happens. No reason at all why he wouldn't fancy you.

TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu · 18/02/2019 15:30

I'm 44 and I'm hot as fuck.

spinabifidamom · 18/02/2019 15:41

Age is only a number. My partner is 11 years older than me. In other words I fell in love with a older man.
There’s nothing terrible about that. Why don’t you see what happens next? Don’t hesitate or worry about it. We started dating after we realised we had feelings for one another.

SauvignonMum · 18/02/2019 15:45

DH and I are both mid & late 30s, and (strange as it sounds) know that the other's preference/fantasy would be older man & woman, probably up to late 50s

NameChanger22 · 18/02/2019 15:47

I always attracted younger men. It never worked out though. Most of them were users.

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