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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not care about work?

108 replies

Polarbearflavour · 18/02/2019 13:47

I’ve had quite a few jobs and never found my niche. For the past few years I’ve had a variety of office roles.

My problem is, I just really don’t care about work! I turn up and do my allocated hours, I do what’s expected of me, no overtime. But I’ve never found a job I actually care about. They have always been “just” a job to pay the mortgage. I mostly get on okay at work. I generally get on fine with people, I’m content with getting a “Good” in appraisals.

I clock watch at work and get so bored! I’ve had so many bullshit jobs that don’t contribute anything. See: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/books/2018/may/25/bullshit-jobs-a-theory-by-david-graeber-review

The only work related passion I have in my life is volunteering at a primary school. I really enjoy it, so much so that I’m thinking of becoming a teaching assistant and possibly doing a PGCE next year.

Does anybody feel the same way about working?

OP posts:
SenoraSurf · 18/02/2019 15:07

I'm a secondary science teacher and my job is to pay the bills and fund adventures. I do my job to the best of my ability a but I'm fortunate enough that my mindset does not allow me to become overconsumed by the workload. To me, it's still just a job.
Be careful going in to teaching if you're looking for something to 'care' about. I know lots and lots of very able teachers that have left because they're so devoted to the job that their lives (and lack of home life) has been non existent.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 18/02/2019 15:11

- I can't be in Mi5 because I'm not physically inconspicuous enough

Well you can but perhaps not "in the field".

Birdie6 · 18/02/2019 15:11

I'm retired now - never really loved my jobs. We're fed this story that "you must love your job ....do what you love and it'll never seem like work" etc. But I think that apart from a lucky few, most of us just do what we have to do, to pay the bills and get by. Don't think that you're unusual in this - you're not.

notacooldad · 18/02/2019 15:14

I'm quite content with not giving a shit about work. I'd be embarrassed to be one of the toadies who work themselves to death for no reward
There is some middle ground you know!!
I love my job because the work is interesting and makes a difference to people, pays well, has a good work life balance and a great shift pattern. However, it has to be said there is no reason to work my self to death or indeed be a toadie!!

NameChanger22 · 18/02/2019 15:15

I quite like what I do, I'm not clockwatching, I'm just happy getting on with it.

But I hate the culture of bullying, the office politics, some of the people, the low pay, the lack of pay rises for 16 years, the way people suck up to those higher up the hierarchy and speak like crap to those they see as below them, the way anyone with talent gets ignore and the bullies get promoted. It's not a nice place to be. The work is good though.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 18/02/2019 15:15

I don't care about my job either. I do just enough work to not get sacked.

heavenlypink · 18/02/2019 15:15

Work in mainstream education with SN children. I love the difference I make to the individual children. I love the lightbulb moments they have. I love the fact that I know I make a difference in their lives and on the whole that I am respected and supported by their parents. The downsides ... I'm taken advantage of by my employer, pay isn't exactly brilliant, and a know it all colleague who has her head rammed up the backsides of senior management. Would love to leave but personal circumstances mean working the hours I do and close to home are a huge advantage.

okaasan · 18/02/2019 15:19

There's no such thing as a job you can finish at the end of the day. I'm a fairly senior manager and every promotion I've had, I've enjoyed my job less and less. I'm not using my languages any more, it's not stretching me at all, and to cap off we've had restructure after damaging restructure which has left everyone battered and every department woefully underesourced, to the extent that it's not possible for anyone to ever complete their work or to feel they've done a good job.
I was off with stress for several months last year but it was less to do with the work environment (tbh I don't care - they can stick it) than personal unfulfillment. I felt like a failure, useless.
Over the last couple of years I've been building up my classroom experience and am going to go into secondary teaching. No doubt it's stressful, but for the right reasons. Being stressed because you just don't give a shit about your meaningless mon-fri existence is not compatible with life. And I've loved every minute of it. No starry eyes, I want hard work that stretches me creatively, intellectually and emotionally, and I'm prepared to take hard knocks for the chance of seeing my work make even the slightest bit of difference to someone's day, let alone their life. I am already expected to work evenings and weekends to keep up with my job.
Anyway OP, if teaching turns out to be not what you want you could be a TA and get paid for the good aspects but not the take-home stress. If I lose the love after a few years, I'm going to take my QT status and do something else. And if brexit all goes to shit, as it looks, I can easily head to Singapore with my language, translation and teaching skills :)

loadthetoad · 18/02/2019 15:19

Ok, so OP I would like to be more like you and care less about my job (and I'm not being weird or bragging or anything.)
I loved my job working with children who have SEN which I have been doing for 10 years this year. Cue a new headteacher, too many changes and a years maternity for me and it's all gone wrong.
I might as well be a cactus in the corner as I have learnt I am completely dispensable. I've pretty much signed my careers death warrant by having a baby and I have horrible anxiety getting ready for work each morning.
It's gone from being a place where people cared and supported each other to tracking progress and spreadsheets.
1 year on and I am working on just going in and completeing my job. Getting joy out of working with the children and giving them my time and effort.
Some of the other stuff gets done. Sometimes I just do a half hearted job on some of the paperwork which isn't important but will tick a box (eg. typing a daily lesson plan and having to have a handwritten one too. Stupid rule.)
I still care but would like to care less.

DeadCertain · 18/02/2019 15:20

I love working most of the time bar the odd crap days; I am not a toadie but do it because it makes me feel personally fulfilled. It always has, even jobs I had just for extra cash whilst at school, college, university. They may not have been challenging but it has always felt good to work.

WaywardTraveller · 18/02/2019 15:22

We have busy periods and less busy periods in the place I work currently. The less busy periods encompass most of the year and are very, very quiet. i.e. not a single phone call or email coming in for hours on end, and no other work to be getting on with. I have fallen asleep at my desk before and nobody noticed. Or actually, they did once - but only because I was snoring Blush. I'm looking for something more interesting and better paid because I feel like I'm wasting my life away. In the meantime I know I'm lucky to have a job at all

Polarbearflavour · 18/02/2019 15:22

I would like to do a PGCE but everybody on Mumsnet says it’s really stressful. I could start applying for TA jobs. The pay is low but I don’t think it’s all about money and I’m fortunate that DH has a very good salary and our mortgage is small.

It’s so hard to know what to do. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’ll be very interesting to see how automation changes jobs over the next 10-20 years.

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 18/02/2019 15:31

Do a PGCE then go and do what you are passionate about - Teaching!!

My teacher friends tell me that teaching is pretty shit and hard work, though!!! You'd need to love it to do it! But hey, I work for the NHS and it's hell but I love it!! :)

Vagabond · 18/02/2019 15:33

Hey! I've lived all across the world. When I was young, I was a highly paid event organiser making events happen at Wembley, NEC, Olympia and all kinds of groovy places. I've worked with film and music stars. Exciting and hard work. But! After getting married and having kids, and 20 years of following my spouse around the oilfields and volunteering for everything...and moving to Australia - I was UNEMPLOYABLE. I've applied for SO many jobs. Not even an interview.

Lo and behold, I got a job last week.... after 20 years of freaking volunteering - I could not be happier. I can't even believe I will be paid. Actually paid! We, as a couple, might not need the money, but for me - FOR ME - to actually get paid..... it has changed my life. I cycled to work today and I felt free.

Today, they asked me to come in and do an online health and safety course. They apologised to me for the tedium of the course. I almost fell on my knees and thanked them for the opportunity! BTW, it's a professional job, but part-time. I'm still so happy. BTW, I work as a recreation officer organising university sports. Good luck to you all!

C1rrus · 18/02/2019 15:33

I think that we have far more freedom to do and be what we do than we often think. More now than ever before I reckon. Too many people think that they are defined by their 9-5.

If you want to be a writer, go and write. If you want to be a jockey, go and ride. If you want to be a singer, but can't sing, so what? Go to lessons, record an album, produce the artwork, do open mic...

OP the PGCE is tough, but not everything in life comes easy. Some things are worth a bit of effort. If you enjoy teaching that's what will carry you through the hard bits, because you will find the good bits so rewarding.

Ofthread · 18/02/2019 15:35

The problem with non-bullshit jobs is that there are reams of people and whole organisations dedicated to turning them into bullshit jobs. See teaching.

clairemcnam · 18/02/2019 15:36

I am not well paid but have a job I care about, where people treat me really well and that is great.

notacooldad · 18/02/2019 15:37

There's no such thing as a job you can finish at the end of the day
I don't understand what you mean by this comment!

SinkGirl · 18/02/2019 15:42

I was always someone who had to feel like I was doing the best possible job, even in my crappy minimum wage holiday jobs as a student. I was one of those people that would be hired as a general grunt and then promoted to supervisor within a few weeks because I cared about doing a good job. After graduating I worked hard to get into the kind of job I wanted, but couldn’t get into my dream role and was doing related jobs rather than the jobs I wanted. I still always went above and beyond, I’ve never been able to do a half arsed job.

After multiple moves I ended up in a very prestigious job which sounded really impressive, involved lots of international travel and those parts of my job were absolutely awesome. I worked my arse off and had glowing appraisals etc. Then I started having some health issues and I broke myself trying to maintain my standard of work. All I did was work and sleep, I had no life other than that. Despite my commitment to my job and the fact that my job was still being done to a very high standard I started receiving shitty treatment from colleagues and management. They made my life as difficult as they could.

One day I woke up and looked around and thought why am I doing this, I’m breaking myself so that some rich people get richer, no one is better off because I do my job, there should be more to my identity than my job.

I left 8 years ago and started my own business which made modest money but I was infinitely happier. When my health meant I couldn’t do that any more I started another business I could manage - again, didn’t make much but I felt like a different person.

Then I had twins two years ago and found a job that’s extremely part time and flexible and I can work around them. It actually helps people, my job is about representing the voices of women using my local maternity service and I am actually making a positive difference.

Looking back I wouldn’t put myself in that situation again unless it was my only option financially - life is too short. My twins both have ASD and I’m considering doing a masters in Autism Education once they start school. I don’t want to waste any more of my life on jobs that exist solely to boost people’s egos and wallets!

RomanyQueen1 · 18/02/2019 15:46

I'm not working atm, but to me a job is just to pay the bills, it's not something enjoyable. far better things to do with my time.
Free time, freedom, and choice are more important than defining yourself through a job.
Even people with careers who say they love their job wouldn't continue if they won the lottery.

Dimsumlosesum · 18/02/2019 15:47

Yup ditto. Everyone on here seems to have amazing "careers" that they love/earns them good money. I've never found anything that I've been able to do around family commitments and then later in life child commitments.

Nat6999 · 18/02/2019 15:51

I left school with no idea of what I wanted to do as a career, I drifted in to working for HMRC doing basic clerical work, I only went for a 12 week temporary contract but got taken on permanently & ended up staying for 27 years. I was never interested in climbing the career ladder, I just turned up, did what I had to & went home, I hated the job but the flexible working, annual leave & pay made it bearable, I did get promoted once but after 5 years I reverted back to the lower grade as by then I was only working 18 hours part time & couldn't keep up with training & the latest legislation. I was lucky enough to get early retirement at 45 due to ill health & my pension is almost as much as I got in salary. I don't miss my job one bit & felt a weight lift from my shoulders the day I walked out of the building for the last time.

Lightofday · 18/02/2019 15:52

30 and done half the jobs in this damn city, usually fine apart from if there is a narcissist/general psycho working there they always seem to find me. So I end up job hopping out. Same if its a horrible job. No point hanging around in anything that makes you miserable.

But up until about a year back I was content just working any job I didn't...hate. Going in, doing my thing, going home. Work to live not live to work. ATM tho I think I'm having some sort of pre-mid life crisis. I have taken on some volunteer work and intend to do more in the hope that I might find a route that I care about, then maybe I can find some sort of paid work in that sector or study something related (already have a social sciences degree but fat lot if use that has been lol). If the money holds out. Which it may not. But I hate the thought of having to job hunt again and go back to yet another jail cell job in the mean time.

I don't know why anyone would want to spend their whole life working at anything...maybe if I find something that matters to me... I mean heck I like money, and you know, living, but what the hell is the point if we have to spend out whole lives working the man :/

DarklyDreamingDexter · 18/02/2019 15:55

I don't care about my job either, although I am good at it, because the boss is an absolute arse. The hours are flexible and the money is good, so I put up with it. I can walk away from it at the end of the day and not give it a second thought until I start again next time. Parts of the job are enjoyable when the boss lets me get on without interference, constantly changing his mind or being unreasonable. I could get a job I enjoy more, but the commuting would be longer, the hours longer and the money around the same, so I choose to stick around. The boss owns the company so no chance of him moving on and getting another job unfortunately!

ZebraZigZag · 18/02/2019 15:55

Almost every job has an element of bullshit. And even if you aren't in a full on bullshit job often if you did disappear someone else would come along and take your place no problem.. So ultimately I wouldn't worry about that side. I'd more worry about your happiness. Does this get you down? Do you think it is unsustainable for you? Can you just decide work isn't your passion but you will do it to pay bills? Or do you need something more?

Be really sure about teaching before you switch. As you say, get a job as a TA. I have taught in a few types of schools and they all have one thing in common: the only way to get through the workload and intensity is if you truly enjoy what you're doing but can realise when it is time to say 'enough' or cut corners sensibly. There are many, many bullshit job elements to teaching. Amongst many lovely parts.

Initially you'll be overwhelmed, out of your depth and stressed overthinking lesson plans because a usually painfully picky assessor will come in and rip your lesson apart. Teaching is a full on, fast paced job. Your days fly by and no two days are the same. You are an educator, a performer, a counsellor, a mediator, a data cruncher, a writer, a social worker, a planner, an evaluator and a constant role model. It will grind you down and lift you up at the same time. You can never finish your to do list and the impact is either on a child's future, or your outcomes in some sort of management appraisal system. Many school leaders are under immense pressure and it all gets pushed down through the system. You are given targets, "94% of your children must achieve this grade", "all your X ethnic minority pupils must make 4 points progress at least".
It isn't about going in, chatting with the kids, teaching them to add, marking a few books, telling parents how their darling is doing so well and walking home again. There is SO much more to it and you need to see it and understand what you're getting into.

The holidays are there for a reason. It would be near-impossible to sustain the level of energy required all year around. That and they can't afford to pay teachers the salaries for the equivalent of a usual 4 weeks holiday style job. The salaries are decent, not ground breaking, and they do account for the time teachers get off.

I personally wouldn't swap it for any other job and adore it. If I won the lottery I would still do it. But that is also with memories of the days I drove to and from work in tears due to fear from a bullying headteacher, spending every weeknight and Sunday locked to my 'marking desk' at home and feeling never-ending guilt over children who you don't feel you do enough for. This stage has passed for me - I am hardened by the job and have found an amazing school where workload and staff wellbeing are top priority. But that school is a highly privileged one with parents paying fees. These kids would do incredibly whether I taught them or not. So... back to the bullshit job fear Grin.

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