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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not care about work?

108 replies

Polarbearflavour · 18/02/2019 13:47

I’ve had quite a few jobs and never found my niche. For the past few years I’ve had a variety of office roles.

My problem is, I just really don’t care about work! I turn up and do my allocated hours, I do what’s expected of me, no overtime. But I’ve never found a job I actually care about. They have always been “just” a job to pay the mortgage. I mostly get on okay at work. I generally get on fine with people, I’m content with getting a “Good” in appraisals.

I clock watch at work and get so bored! I’ve had so many bullshit jobs that don’t contribute anything. See: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/books/2018/may/25/bullshit-jobs-a-theory-by-david-graeber-review

The only work related passion I have in my life is volunteering at a primary school. I really enjoy it, so much so that I’m thinking of becoming a teaching assistant and possibly doing a PGCE next year.

Does anybody feel the same way about working?

OP posts:
morningconstitutional2017 · 18/02/2019 14:34

Yes, there most definitely is that dangerous lie 'you can be anything you want to be' which is complete nonsense for many of us - it only works for the highly educated and confident - and not always then. I worked with lots of graduates who left university and ended up with an office job as glorified 'envelope stuffers' who were sold this lie.

The world of work is tilted in the favour of those who want to 'live their work' but this only works for the few and is a miserable balance.

At annual appraisals you were made to feel that you were peculiar if you said that you didn't have an ambition to go up to the next level - 'happy as I am' (or more honestly putting up with it) was seen as failing. We can't all be brain surgeons - someone has to empty the bins.

Eliza9917 · 18/02/2019 14:38

I think some people have their priorities wrong. Especially on MN. Work to live, not live to work. Work isn't the be-all and end-all that it's pushed as on here. Family & friends are far more important and I think society is being pushed further & further from those values and maybe that is why we are getting such problems with anxiety etc. Look how many posts there are on here about people that can't talk to a cashier/bus driver/etc.

I hate working. If I won the lottery I would give up tomorrow. I would much rather be doing my own thing than working. And I wouldn't get bored either.

CurbsideProphet · 18/02/2019 14:38

My job isn't bad and it helps people, however, I go to work to have my own home and do things that I'm passionate about outside of work. I'm not interested to get involved in work politics and I don't want to progress upwards to management.

PBo83 · 18/02/2019 14:38

@ImportantWater

*I can't be in Mi5 because I'm not physically inconspicuous enough

I am intrigued!*

I'm an inch too short, sorry to disappoint with such a dull answer :(

Beachvibes · 18/02/2019 14:41

I can't be a dancer (because I literally have no rhythm)

Think there was a woman who had no tune what so ever and trained herself to sing. Reminded me of that, from the Freakonomics Podcast.

I thinking people try and if they're in the right frame of mind, they can excel in some activities. When it comes to jobs, I think you need connections and luck on your side.

GinDoll · 18/02/2019 14:41

I don't like my job. I do what I have to do, put up with appraisals twice a year and endless discussions about how I can stretch myself. I manage not to tell my fairly nice boss where he can stick his personal expansion nonsense and get on wihh doing what I have to do. I don't want to do any extra thanks. I'll do overtime if I get paid for it, but why would I want to volunteer to take on extra work and responsibility???? Honestly it's ridiculous. I am one of about twenty similarly qualified people in my team. Chances of promotion are slim and I wouldn't want it anyway as it would mean... More work I don't care about.

Cruddles · 18/02/2019 14:41

I stopped caring a while ago: made it to middle management in charge of a good team who don't need my input. Boss thinks I'm doing a good job and get a decent appraisal. Not amazing like when I did give a shit, but solid enough. I struggle to find enough internet to surf to pass the day.

I could get more money elsewhere but the money I get now is more than enough for a comfortable life. The hours suit my young family. And people leave me alone.

I'd like to have that passion again, maybe it will come back, maybe not.

sugarbum · 18/02/2019 14:41

I don't care about my job. I've never really known what I wanted to 'do', and I'm naturally lazy, so I ended up doing what I do, because I can do it, rather than because I enjoy it, or am particularly good at it. I don't hate it. I'd rather be home making bags (my hobby) but I can't make money that way.
We have two kids, and a massive mortgage, so I stay in my job, because its easy, and flexible, and pays a decent amount. And I sew whenever I get the chance. And that's fine.

cardibach · 18/02/2019 14:42

Just to address your idea of more fulfilling employment, OP - I’d search the many threads asking about teaching as a career. It’s hard work, not as family friendly as you think and often frustrating rather than fulfilling. Teachers are leaving in droves. A non-challenging job you can do and feel you have finished every day sounds like heaven in many ways to me (teacher off work with stress).

greybluegeometry · 18/02/2019 14:44

I don't really understand your title or post being as you end up by clearly saying you have found your vocation and passion, and have a plan to achieve it......

RiverTam · 18/02/2019 14:44

I have always worked in an industry that I love. I can't imagine 'just doing any old job'. I'm not career oriented at all, though.

badlydrawnperson · 18/02/2019 14:50

I'm passionate about my career

Urgghhhh I have to work with a lot of people who say this sort of stuff.

No harm to anyone but I really can't grasp it.

My dream career would be arguing with random anonymous strangers on the internet - it's pretty hard to monetise though.

Justtickingboxes · 18/02/2019 14:52

It's funny, but I usually tend to "stretch" my job - to make it interesting by adding responsibilities or trying to suggest or work out new ways of doing things. I wouldn't be able to bear a micro-manager or controlling environment, but if I'm given space, I really enjoy the opportunity to solve problems or get things organised.

Oddsocksandmeatballs · 18/02/2019 14:52

Everyone told my son (who has Asperger's syndrome) he couldn't be a falconer...he has worked as falconer since he was 19 and has just been offered his own centre to run at the age of 26. He was single minded and determined in his career. Mind you, this is the same son that failed his RE exams because his teacher told him he couldn't do much more than write his name and date so that is exactly what he did on the exam paper.

JasperKarat · 18/02/2019 14:53

@badlydrawnperson I just couldn't tolerate forty hours a week doing something I hate. My job is interesting, high pressure and involves very challenging and dangerous people, it makes a huge difference to people's lives. It's not the kind of job people do for the money

PBo83 · 18/02/2019 14:55

My dream career would be arguing with random anonymous strangers on the internet - it's pretty hard to monetise though.

Nah, get yourself a YouTube channel and start making commentary videos :)

Wedgiecar58 · 18/02/2019 14:55

I don't give a shit about my job either, despite it sounding quite exciting. It's boring and I don't care because the performance of my company doesn't have any affect on my life.

I enjoy it more when I have some projects, but when its just the same old daily stuff, its incredibly hard to be motivated purely because, it just doesnt matter.

LoafEater · 18/02/2019 14:58

I have had some nice jobs with nice people over the years, but ultimately if you work in the private sector, you are working to make money for someone else. Corporations don't give a shit about anyone who works for them and everyone is expendable, so I've never seen the point in being too interested or invested. I turn up, work hard within my remit and go home.

In my youth I got very keen, unpaid overtime and all that shizzle, but now I'm coat on and out the door on the dot. I was no better thought of in the past than I am now.

Littlepond · 18/02/2019 15:00

There’s a job I’ve always wanted to do since I was about 14. I followed the path, worked hard but ultimately failed to get onto the post grad course. I’ve applied 3 times. I can work hard but I’m not bright enough for my “dream job”. I can’t do it without the qualification and I can’t get on the course, so that’s it.
I can’t be anything I want to be.

Chewbecca · 18/02/2019 15:02

I kind of wish I didn’t care so much about my job, what I do is essentially bollocks, stuff the company has to do but no one really wants to and it is invisible to customers and most of the company. But I do care, I can’t help myself. It isn’t really the job itself, it isn’t ‘worthy’ or especially fulfilling in any way, I think I must be naturally inclined to take things seriously I think, and to want to do a really good job.

I work with people who care less than I do. It is very common. There is space for both types at work, it wouldn’t work if we were all trying to clamber to the top, we need all sorts. We need ‘doers’. I just try to make sure those people are very clear what’s expected and that they deliver that - we’re all happy then! If people express more ambition, they are given more encouragement to go over and above, more opportunity and exposure.

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 18/02/2019 15:05

It's a means to an end. Work to live.

Of course you can be whatever you want to be....!?

There's no such thing as a 6ft tall jockey or a 20st ballerina or a blind bus driver.

There are many jobs one can't do due to a multitude of limitations.

Lovemusic33 · 18/02/2019 15:05

I have had a few different careers but never feel that happy in any job. I do enjoy the job I do now but it can be stressful as well as rewarding, I still moan about it and it’s not my dream job. Sometimes I wish I had a office job or retail job where I could go home at the end of the day and forget about it but I would probably find it really boring.

TortoiseLettuce · 18/02/2019 15:06

I’m qualified in a very specific field. But there are very few jobs available and it’s very competitive. I never had any chance of getting one of those rare coveted jobs and it was awful of adults to lie and say “you can be whatever you want” because you can’t. I believed it all the way through school and uni, and when I failed to get my chosen job I blamed myself and was suicidal because I felt like a failure.

My friend works in Topshop despite being a professionally qualified dancer with over 20 years training. She couldn’t get work because she was too tall. She was severely depressed and suicidal when years of work resulted in nothing. Why do we tell our kids these lies, waste their time and break their hearts?

Alexandra2018 · 18/02/2019 15:06

I don't like or enjoy my job the hours and pay are ok but it's pretty miserable. There nothing I actually want to do?

Original poster
Polarbearflavour · 18/02/2019 15:07

A friend of mine works at EY. Her husband is a banker and they must earn around £150k between them. She has a really good job which part of me wishes I could have. But then I’m prone to laziness!

Just need a lottery win Smile

OP posts: