To ask this woman what her problem with me is?

[SuzzieWithEthics]

A receptionist at the council owned leisure center seems to be playing some petty power game with me.

I hand my card to her, she then goes out of her way to avoid my hand and put it down on the surface and making it fiddly to pickup. She's treating me differently as see her hand it back to other people normally.

Watched her hand it back to three people in front of me normally yesterday. So for a change (I usually treat her how she treats me) I handed it to her and she still ignored handing it back to me.

I don't think it's to do with age or gender. I think it could be because I'm on benefits and save 20% on membership.

It's minor but aibu to just ask her why?

I honestly can't understand why you care.

I seriously don’t think I’d register this.

This would bother me as well but in this kind of situation I have to say to myself that by allowing her actions to get into my head I am giving her a great deal of power without her having to make any effort at all. In future I would smile very brightly, perhaps comment on the weather or how busy the centre is and then if she still acts rudely it's on her and not you.

Just be friendly and polite to her. It's her issue, don't go down to her level if this is what she is doing. Hold your head up high. Nothing to feel bad about.

Possible reasons for this.

1. You have history - perhaps you went out with her ex/bullied her at school/grabbed the last sherbet dip at the sweet shop 3 months ago.
2. It’s not actually happening.
3. She’s a deeply unpleasant Daily Mail reading receptionist who hates anyone who gats any benefits.

The solution to any of these scenarios is the same. Be polite and ignore.

Do you mean that you have your hand open, waiting, and she ignores this and places it on the counter? Could you explain that you find it difficult to slide the card from the counter, and would she mind placing in your hand?

Next time, demand to speak to Mr Brittas.

Just continue to put the card down on the counter when you give it to her. Don't give her another thought.

Thanks I thought I shouldn't let it affect me, I mean it doesn't but it does make me wonder. But that is probably her aim.

Should I treat her the same way she treats me?

Do you mean that you have your hand open, waiting, and she ignores this and places it on the counter?

Yes. And she hands it back to other people. It's the treating me differently that makes me wonder

She'd never tell you even if you asked. She's clearly made a judgement about you and that is now fixed in her head. There's no reasoning with people like this. Saying that though I might find a way to get back at her if she really was pissing me off.

She’s a deeply unpleasant Daily Mail reading receptionist who hates anyone who gats any benefits.

That's the view I'm coming to, I know I should just ignore it.

What are your nails like? Do you have long acrylics that she may find creepy? Or do you bite them really short?

Very normal and clean nails not long or short. I use my hands for work.

Should I treat her the same way she treats me? No, rise above it and show her how it should be done.

It would bother me too OP. But I wouldn’t mention anything as it’s not worth your time or effort. Just treat her the same, put the card down on the table with a big grin x

Actually no I’ve changed my mind, I would hand it to her, as that’s what she doesn’t want x

I have a compulsion to ‘crack’ unfriendly people. I’m relentlessly cheerful toward them. Eventually it generally works.

I do this for no other reason than curiosity, and the fact that I’m northern .

Any problem here is hers. Just be your normal polite self and don't give it another thought.

I would say

Excuse me but I can’t help noticing that when others hand you their card - you return the card to their hands. When you return my card you always without fail place it on the counter regardless of how I have handed the card you you. This makes retreaving the card more difficult for me and I am enquiring whether there is a reason you don’t hand me back my card?

One of the cashiers in the local Tesco does this, I have no idea if she does it to everybody and I don't really care - I only remembered when I read this thread. Just ignore it, it's her problem not yours.

Shockers - I do this! I’ve been working on the postman at work for 6 months now (only part time so not every day). He still won’t crack. I’m still trying although I have concluded he is a miserable bugger. The DPD man is always cheerful back though. Small victories.

Honestly, if you have your hand open waiting it’s probably that, she might think you’re being impatient.

Just ignore and kill her with kindness.

Btw, how do you know she reads the Daily Mail and hates anyone on benefits?

Actually you know what, I'd ask her directly next time I went why she was doing it, and if it didn't stop I'd write an email to the centre management, I really would. I can't stand this kind of pathetic behaviour.