To think his friend is BU by even asking this!!

[UserUser123]

DD (11) fell the other night and broke her wrist. She had to have a procedure done on it yesterday morning as she broke both her wrist joints and it knocked the wrist out of place so it had to be reset. She had to be taken to Theatre and have this done under general anaesthetic. Her BP was high all day yesterday plus they were giving her morphine for the pain so we didn’t get out of hospital until late last night. DD didn’t sleep well last night due to pain and I slept in with her so I’m pretty done in myself (I also stayed in hospital with her so have hardly slept for 2 days) I’m also 34 weeks pregnant.

DP has just said to me that his friend is on at him to go out on the piss tonight! He said he’ll need to tell him something to palm him off so he doesn’t need to go! Said friend is now getting pissy with DP because he won’t go out.

Eh, what?!! I said tell him your daughter is ill and you need to be at home.

Who is being unreasonable here?

Why does he need to tell him something to palm him off? Can he not just put his big boy pants on and tell him no he doesn't want to? Is his daughter not being in pain and having been in hospital a good enough reason? Sounds like a shit friend and your husband needs to be more assertive when saying no

Eh, what?!! I said tell him your daughter is ill my wife needs to rest and you need to be at home. - this (with the extra bit I've added).

Why does your DH even need prompting to say this???

He wants to go out and wants you to say it's alright.

Mm is it the friend or your dh who is pushing to go out?

Why does he even need an excuse other than my wife is pregnant & daughter is ill🤷🏻‍♀️ Family first!

He wants to go out and wants you to say it's alright.

I reckon this is close to the truth.

Lol. It's your DH that wants to go out. He's hoping you'll say it's OK if he comes up with a story, such as he's being pressured by his mate.

@Mokepon is spot on.

Exactly what @Mokepon says.

What Mokepon said, he's wanting you to give him a 'pass'. Have had to train DH not to do this, hate feeling manipulated/guilted and would much rather he just asked a straight question. It would be a no under your circumstances though, pretty selfish to even want to go when DD is injured and you're exhausted.

In your shoes I would suggest he stocked you up on take away and chocolate and went out. And stayed at his mates.
You get the bed to yourself and a quiet night.
Otherwise you will have a poorly dc and a stroppy man child spoiling for a row.
And make a mental note he owes you one.

Yeah your OH wants to go otherwise he wouldn't have even mentioned it. He'd have done exactly what you said, told him he needs to look after his family. It's not a friend problem, it's a OH problem.

What do you want your dh to do tonight?
Not goady.

God he sounds utterly pathetic!

Friend not being unreasonable. He's not the boss of your dp. Easy to say no, especially under the circumstances.

So, I agree with others - it's your dp who is being unreasonable.

I hate this. More worried about upsetting their friends than anyone else.

No is a compete sentence.

I think it’s DP who wants to go out too and he was testing the water by saying to me! I don’t mind if he goes but doesn’t drink, just in case DD needs to go back to the hospital - they did say if the hand swells or she has pins and needles to take her back. Im Probably being over cautious, but you never know!

If he goes out but doesn't drink surely it'll be pointless?

I would go with Aprilshowers suggestion as well. Have a quiet night enjoying what you want on the tv. Daughter will probably start feeling better. You will both get a good sleep and he can have a hangover at his mates in the morning

He's not going to go out and stay sober. He sounds like a selfish shit tbh. Sorry. Hope you get a good night's sleep.

hard hat firmly on, but you are pregnant like millions of other women and dd has a broken wrist which she needs strong pain relief and lots of tlc for.
apart from sorting you and dd out some dinner, cosy takeaway for you and dd to share, why do you need dh at home ? unless there are problems you've not told us i don't get it. does dh go out regularly or is this a one off ?
his so called mate sounds a bit of a twat for getting arsey though.

Clearly your Dp is angling to out.
Is it a problem if he does. If so tell him.
Does he need to be there? I'd imagine both you and DD need your sleep and be in bed early.

Its annoying when they say it's their mates that are pushing to do something. It's the equivalent of a kid say " but everyone is allowed!"

Tell him it’s life and sometimes he just can’t go out and he needs to be a grown up as his family needs him

he's not the boss of dp but then neither is op, she's his wife, getting her permission is like asking your mum. he should make his own choice one way or the other - on his own.

Sometmes in life, you have to step up and shoulder your responsibilities.
today/tonight is your DH's turn to do that.

How he can't see that for himself, I don't know, really he should.
Maybe if you put it to him like this,

Wife 34 weeks pregnant has not slept for 2 consecutive nights, dd had operation and is now at home, in pain and SOMEBODY needs to be there and be stone cold sober in case of complications which need immediate medical attention.