Early weeks of breastfeeding - hellish for everyone?

[Pinkypieohmy]

Breastfeeding Ds2 two weeks old.
And finding it horrific.
He feeds all night, up every 90 minutes sometimes, spends half an hour fussing at the breast before latching on then spends another 90 minutes feeding both sides.
I must be getting about 2-3 hours broken sleep if I am lucky. He sometimes does the same through the day.
I’m Also anaemic after a significant blood loss during cs.
I have never felt tiredness like this!

Ds has been checked for toungue tie, doesn’t have this, latch is fine. No known reason for him to do this.

Plus ds1 is competing for my attention and playing up. He is very jealous of the attention on the new baby. Dh due back at work next week and I am panicking about coping!
Is it like this for everyone? Is breastfeeding supposed to be hell on Earth for a while?

I quit at this point with ds1 and I really want to try and persevere this time..... but if things continue this way I can’t see how!

Every baby is different. My baby never cluster fedand only took 10mins to have a feed every 4 hours.

Slept through the night 7-7 from 4 months.

Puts me off having another as no-way the next baby will feed so well

The hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Ds1 literally would not come off me. I ended up sitting in the living room on the floor so I didn't fall asleep this went on from about 5pm to 10am in the morning non stop, then he would feed every hour. I have never ever been through anything so tough in my life. I don't think it was normal but every single time I asked for help before I had even finished I would get a reply of its normal your just tired. Eventually after 4 days of literally no sleep I collapsed had postnatal physcosis and anemia. Took me another few nights to learn how to sleep again it was the most bizarre thing ever. I'm not bothered how long a baby goes any broken sleep is hell on earth. I wish more than anything it worked but for my own sanity I had to stop. Biggest piece of advice o can give, don't accept mediocre help.

I struggled a lot. At 8 weeks I gave DD formula on the hospitals advice.

That just made my milk supply dip even more.

I ditched the formula and went it alone and from 4 months it became very, very easy. Ended up feeding for nearly 2 years in the end, but I wanted to quit after two weeks!

I’m sure some people have it easy but I didn’t and neither did my friends!

Is he definitely feeding/trying to feed when he is on the breast? Can you hear him swallowing/ after being on both breasts do you feel they have been emptied?
You say he only sometimes does the same through the day, has he maybe not yet sorted his day and night?
I assume midwives are satisfied that he is putting on weight, and that he has plenty of wet nappies?

Ds1 was like this but I soldiered on and figured out he had some sort of digestive issues/ reflux.
Ds2 I knew what to expect so gave him a dummy from day 1 (both comfort suckers), raised his cot up one end,and also expressed some milk before a feed due to having a very forceful let down. Very rigorous burping was also needed after each feed. Ds2 was a dream. Fed for 5mins each side, winded, slept for 3-4hrs (I woke him).
But yes the first couple of weeks are painful.

It was like this for me too. I used nipple shields just once and the improvement in latching / condor was immediate and permanent.

It really is difficult. I struggled badly with my first but persevered until 14 months. My second is 5 weeks old and knowing how easy it suddenly becomes is what's getting me through.
My first has allergies so I don't want to risk formula this time either but honestly I'm too lazy to give up.

I find it exhausting and painful and the cluster feeding with the pulling and crying is so stressful HOWEVER imagine all this plus getting up to make a bottle as frequently as you are awake now. I couldn't think of anything worse then having to wake up enough to concentrate on making a bottle when I can just sit up feed wind and back to sleep.

It really does get easy all of a sudden and the freedom of not carting around bottles and powder and flasks etc is lovely. Also in the later stages it solves everything. Your not alone in this xx

Condor? Comfort!

With my first baby it felt so sore and weird for the first couple of months but I was fine after that.
Then for my second baby it felt so natural, I really loved breastfeeding her.
I'm on my 3rd pregnancy now, and honestly I can not wait to start breast feeding. I LOVE being pregnant, I've missed it for years. I hope our future financial situation allows us to have a 4th baby later.

I’m currently breastfeeding my 4 month old. The first 2 weeks I was in SCBU and expressed every 3 hours for him to be tube fed my breastmilk. I thought that was tough, and then they let us go home. It was absolute hell. We didn’t sleep for about 4 days. He just wouldn’t sleep on his own. In the end we gave up and just let him sleep with us, and things got a lot easier. He feeds through the night still but I just pop a boob in his mouth and go back to sleep. Best thing I ever decided to do. I feed on demand, and he seems to want to feed every 1.5 - 2 hrs, but if we are out he is more interested with what is going on and can often last around 3 hours before he realises he is hungry and has a meltdown. Things definitely get easier, and they become more efficient feeders, not taking so long to feed.

I have a 13 day old EBF baby.

Days 1-4 were absolute torture, I’m surprised I didn’t drown him the amount I cried on him as he fed.

Thankfully in my area the support for BF is fantastic and a breastfeeding support midwife came out day 5 and adjusted my latch and whilst days 5-10 were still relatively hellish as I’d ended up with horribly damaged nipples I now don’t dread every feed.

My nipples are healed and it’s much more comfortable now.

Decent breast pads make a huge difference too. My nipples were sticking to some of the ones I used so we’re getting hurt every time I fed.

Using the cheeky wipes reusable pads though and they never get stuck.

Breastfeeding DD was utter hell for the first 2 weeks, still pretty hellish and constant even after her tongue tie was snipped then until about 6 weeks. Hard work but easier up to about 10 weeks. Then a total dream until we stopped at 20 months. I got through it by trying to get through a day at a time and resolving to never give up at a really bad point. Nights were the worse for me but I’d say to myself ‘get through the night and if you still want to stop in the morning then stop’. I always felt a bit more positive in the mornings. Next thing I knew I’d got to the easy stage. I have no regrets. For me it was absolutely worth persevering.

I don’t think it’s necessarily the norm for it to be hellish (family members all fed with no pain at all, easy from the start) and it can be a sign that something isn’t quite right with latch etc, but it is hard and some of us have a tougher ride than others. With DD i think her tongue tie was the main problem, but even once that was sorted she was just naturally a boob monster who wanted to be held and fed all the time. I think the improvement was just that she got a bit bigger and more efficient.

I persevered because I knew I’d be more upset in the long run at having to stop than I was going through the torture of painful cluster feeding for a few weeks. Everyone is different, do what’s best for you. It really does get easier though. So many people said that to me and I just couldn’t ever see it getting better. Then suddenly, it was. Hope things improve for you soon and enjoy your lovely baby

I had similar OP - you are not alone. Many of my friends were in the same boat. I think some of the literature is a bit misleading about how easy it’s supposed to be! Millions of women have gone through this, we have to be honest and support each other because the medical profession / media etc doesn’t- just piles on the pressure!

No known reason for him to do this.

Newborn cluster feeding maybe? I found the first few weeks awful, we had a terrible time getting established. I wonder in hindsight if it was worth it because it overshadowed my first few weeks with him, everything was focussed on getting him to feed. Do what you feel is right for you and your family. Congratulations by the way

Yes. I remember at 5 weeks I cried because despite not leaving the sofa all day, with a baby feeding constantly I felt exhausted. The first few weeks can be hard but it gets better.

Yes. I nearly gave up at 2 weeks... 3 weeks... 4 weeks... 5 weeks.... really up to 6/7 weeks. After that it did start to get easier and nights got easier from 8-10 weeks. Now he's a year old and BF is like second nature!

Yes. The first twelve weeks had me on my knees. He was up all night feeding and I was nearly insane with exhaustion. Apparently it's entirely normal and the incessant feeding at first is to stimulate milk production (which introducing bottles at an early stage could scupper). Ride out the first awful weeks and it gets easier, I promise.

I was in exactly the same boat a few weeks ago. It is REALLY hard!!! You are doing great and remember you have done really well to get to this point. I started combo feeding as it was really taking it's toll. Happy mommy = happy baby

Besides sore nipples at first it was easy for me and I found it very relaxing and satisfying. I would say it was the easiest part of being pregnant, giving birth and raising children. I hated being pregnant (vomiting) and childbirth was hell on earth for me (2 emergency C Sections after labour/pushing).

With my oldest son (45 yrs old now) I had too much milk , so much it would squirt all over his face and practically choked/drowned him. I would leak all over the bed and wake to dried stiff jammie tops. So as you can imagine the little nippers didn't spend too much time at my breast.

Try eating chocolate. I read a few years ago the cocoa butter helps increase milk supply. Knowing me, I was eating tons of chocolate back then. Also, when you get up to BF, don't make a fuss of the baby, talk to him, change him (unless he's done a poo) and never put a light on. They could think it's fun time when you do that. I was like Nurse Ratchet when I got up in the night to BF - all business.

Good luck.

Sounds like you're doing really amazingly, now is the time to get some good help!!
NCT has a helpline, they've I'll give you evidence based advice.
If not them, the breastfeeding network website has their helpline number too.
See a lactation consultant, I'm sure NCT can help you find one.

Gosh you poor thing, it's a really tough time. I don't think there is enough information pre-baby on how difficult breastfeeding actually is to start with for a huge amount of Mums.
I totally understand your pain - I have an 11week old and have recently been through what you are experiencing and it's so hard. It got alot easier quite quickly for me, so hopefully will for you too. My toddler also played me up horrendously, I cried alot when DH got home from work! She has now adapted to our new routine and is behaving really nicely. As hard as it is for you right now, 2 weeks is still very early on and I think your body, your DS1 and DS2 will soon adjust.
You are doing so well to have bf for two weeks already so if you do switch to formula/combination feeding it's no failure, you have to do what works for you. Big hugs xx

Years ago now but I remember the relentlessness and the toe curling pain when latching on. I was doing everything right and had all the support I wanted from everyone.
I stuggled to 4/5 weeks and enough was enough, I was starting to worry for my mental health at that point.

I felt very let down that prior to the birth not one HCP mentioned BF was going to be anything other than a beautiful bonding experience.

Thank you for posting this OP, and for all the reassuring responses! I have a 4 week old (Although only a couple of days old corrected). I had a very difficult experience breastfeeding my first, things are definitely going better this time round but still so so hard. Cluster feeding all afternoon (the toddler is not happy with that!) then we seem to get one good 3hr stretch at night but then just on off with no chance of getting back to sleep. This thread has been a good reminder that, at some point, things will get better!

OP, I’m on my first DS and early weeks were indeed like this. Seemed to right itself (in terms of latch, fussiness) by week 5 or 6, and duration of feeds has dropped dramatically now by 12 weeks. However, do not give it a second thought if you want to “give up” (speaks volumes that mums describe it that way) bf / ebf at this point. You need to do what works for you!