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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How can I make life with toddler more enjoyable?

72 replies

ReverseSmileyFace · 15/02/2019 18:27

I'm really not enjoying this phase of DD's life. The tantrums, clingyness and mess is really making life seem so miserable.

Going out is starting to become stressful as she likes to dash off around the shops and I end up chasing her. I can't even do my bloody shopping.

Does anyone have a routine that they recommend to make life with a child at this age easier to deal with?

I don't even know where I'm going wrong Confused

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/02/2019 18:28

Does she still nap? Honestly my LO is only 18 months, not even in the thrall of toddlerhood yet and that 2hrs in the day where she sleeps keeps me sane,

Jackshouse · 15/02/2019 18:31

Online shopping. Don’t try and do anything with them if you are in a hurry and can’t stop to examine the ground, answer inane questions or what for them to finish the tantrum.

Original poster
ReverseSmileyFace · 15/02/2019 18:32

Got rid of the nap otherwise she won't sleep at bedtime. It only takes her 10 minutes to go down so I always avoid the nap.

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 15/02/2019 18:32

Mine are 7 and 9 and we are having the time of our lives. Rewind to toddler years, not so much. You just need to find your things. Toddler groups for us were a godsend. Soft play good. Parks sometimes good sometimes soul destroying. Hope you get your thing. Take any good moments you can get. I berate myself sometimes for not loving every minute but at the time it was flipping hard! Flowers

LL83 · 15/02/2019 18:33

My youngest is 3 and I can now take him to shops, get him to help and trust him to stay near me. Was completely different 6 months ago.
It's a hard stage but it will get easier. Sorry no real advice. In the meantime softplay and online shopping.

Original poster
ReverseSmileyFace · 15/02/2019 18:34

Exhausted every park and soft play in our area. Try to travel, but even that can be a nightmare. She always wants her own seat on the Tube and like to swap seats whilst the train is moving.

OP posts:
7salmonswimming · 15/02/2019 18:35

Online shopping (for everything).

Share the load: get her to play with other children and be around other adults as much as possible. Obviously stay with her, don't just walk away Grin

Take a long time doing the boring stuff: preparing meals and clearing up, getting dressed and out the door, walk to places or take the long route on the bus.

Make a weekly schedule, so she learns to look forward to things and also just suck up the fact that on Thursday mornings you will be going to sainsbury's for extra milk and she will sit quietly in the trolley.

Talk to her a lot. Stops her from talking to you.

Remember that "why?" is just an invitation to converse from someone who doesn't know how to converse. Just chatter and explain and use words. Just use half your brain, it doesn't need to be anything serious.

MeredithShepherdssister · 15/02/2019 18:35

See if a family member wants them for 2 years til he phase passes?

Sorry. Not very helpful. In the midst of toidker plus newborn fun and games!

Original poster
ReverseSmileyFace · 15/02/2019 18:35

@LL83

Is he almost 4? DD turned 3 last month and was an angel at 2.

OP posts:
Original poster
ReverseSmileyFace · 15/02/2019 18:38

Schedule is a great idea. If only I could make one.

Yes to "why?"- her favourite word. Non stop every hour

OP posts:
Original poster
ReverseSmileyFace · 15/02/2019 18:39

Meredith

I'm lucky that DD has a sleepover at her nan's every 2 weeks. Don't think I could hand her over. I love our cuddles.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/02/2019 18:40

Might get easier as the nicer weather kicks in, lots of park trips etc

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/02/2019 18:40

Also CBeebies helps sometimes!!!

Exhaustedmummy1811 · 15/02/2019 18:40

I really feel for you op, I have a 3 year old dd just like this. I can't take her shopping on my own as she lays on the floor, usually clinging to shelves/railings/anything and I can't get her to move or she is running off and I can't catch her (slightly more difficult at the moment as I'm 8 months pregnant) at home nothing much entertains her, we regularly get out puzzles, play dough, baking, colouring, board games but she sits for 5 minutes then wants something else! She loves touching things she shouldn't and hiding things like the keys, tin opener or ds school books. She answers no or I don't want to or cos I can to everything. She truly is exhausting! I hope she grows out of it soon

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 15/02/2019 18:41

If she's turned 3 then she's probably ready to be in nursery - at that age other children are what entertains them most.

SilviaSalmon · 15/02/2019 18:41

We used reigns or backpack with wrist strap. Stopped the stress in shops and helped to teach him to stay near me.

I was a bit Hmm at reigns untilI we lost toddler at an airport as he wriggled free of MIL’s hand. I bought some there and then and they proved a lifesaver.

Original poster
ReverseSmileyFace · 15/02/2019 18:44

Peppa Pig keeps her occupied. Got it on right now whilst I relax on MN

Exhaustedmummy

Your post had me bursting out with laughter. DD does everything your DD does. She can be a cheeky madam.

OP posts:
Settlersofcatan · 15/02/2019 18:44

We have a very active 2 year old and - to be honest, the only way we have found through it is to keep things pretty child focussed. We don't try to do much other than playgrounds, play groups, toys at home. Certainly don't try to do any real shopping (that's all online)

norbert23 · 15/02/2019 18:45

Not a huge help but I definitely enjoyed our Morrison's trip once I discovered they had those trolleys with cats on the front - she would happily sit in there "driving" while I pottered round for half an hour.

Original poster
ReverseSmileyFace · 15/02/2019 18:45

DD gets 15 hours and I work during those times. Can't wait to get 30 hours. That's next term though.

OP posts:
norbert23 · 15/02/2019 18:47

Cars not cats! Sorry!

Original poster
ReverseSmileyFace · 15/02/2019 18:50

The car trolley. They used to have that at Tesco, no Morrisons around here. I wouldn't trust her to stay in it, I know what she's like.

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 15/02/2019 18:53

I have twin 2 year old boys and I really struggle but they both have autism, are non verbal, no sense of danger. There’s literally no way I could take them on the tube or anything - I get palpitations just thinking about it!

I’ve got quite good at devising games indoors - just silly things like hiding raisins under stacking cups and shuffling them around. I’m really hoping things get better through this year as we are working so hard - I’d love to be able to do crafts, baking etc with them.

LL83 · 15/02/2019 18:57

He's 3.5 years so maybe you don't have long til your DD turns a corner too. I think listening to teachers and routine at nursery helped.

NameChange30 · 15/02/2019 18:59

I work part time (3 days a week) so that helps Grin

We have to go out at least once a day or we both go mad. On weekday mornings I take him to groups and things where he can run around and interact with other children. Home for lunch and nap. Afternoons we go out to feed ducks, playground etc. With cold/wet weather and short days it's harder, but that's starting to improve now thankfully.

At home he loves helping with similar tasks like emptying the dishwasher (putting cutlery in the right place) and doing laundry. I don't always enjoy playing with him as such but i find you get what you put in, if I make an effort it is usually rewarded and we have fun.

It is tough though and I don't know what I'd do if he didn't nap!! I use that time to rest when I can. I suppose if he didn't nap then we would need to watch tv or something for a bit of a rest (we do sometimes watch a bit of tv but not everyday).

At the weekend DH and I each take a bit of time to ourselves (I do yoga, DH runs) and it's a small thing but it goes a lot way towards helping us stay sane! We also hang out with friends with kids when we can - the kids often entertain each other and we can get some adult conversation. And we see family too as they lavish DS with attention which gives us a bit of a breather.