To put a card through FWB's door?

[Flairhead]

So. I kinda have an FWB thing going on. It's very casual, it's just something that happens after a few drinks sometimes, we don't make actual plans for it.

I don't live too far away from him and I know he's round at a friend's just now. So I popped to the shop and bought a card. Nothing soppy, just a card saying "be -mine- naked. I wasn't going to sign it or even put his name on it, I thought him and his flatmate could just be left wondering who it was for. The flatmate is also out at the moment so I could easily put the card through the door and be away.

But now I'm not sure it's a good idea! I'm scared he'll work out it was me (they both know I live nearby, about 15 mins walk) and think I want more than I do. I'm not long divorced so not after a relationship, but to be honest I'd like the sex more often. His flatmate is a bit of a player so it's not completely unlikely that someone would send him one.

I've not done anything with the card yet and don't have too long because I don't know when they'll be home! I need MN wisdom!

There’s no harm if you don’t mind him knowing it’s you but if the thought of that horrifies you, don’t do it!

Honestly op, the man has seen ya fanjo - just post the bloody card!!

I don't think I'm brave enough, I'm sat in the car in the next street fretting!

But you strip off?? Woman up ffs!!

I think I'm just scared if he does work out it's me he'll knock the possibility of us having sex again on the head and I don't want that! Even though I don't want an actual relationship I still fancy him!

Oh dear. Are you in the habit of sending Valentine cards to your friends, if no, then hell no! He’s either a friend you sleep with or he’s a potential partner, which is it?

The problem with FWB relationships is that for many the construction is as a stepping stone to a partnership

just do it!

No it feels a bit desperate to be honest.

Isn't the whole point of FWB that it's not emotionally geared? And isn't the point of Valentine's Day that it is?

If I were you, and happy with it involving no emotion, I'd not do it. It could be read as wanting more.

Mind you, this advice is probably far too late.

No, don't do it

I don't think you quite understand what FWB means

Don't give a Vale tine's card to a fuck buddy!

No way would I do that OP.

I think you’ll regret it if you do
Understand why you want to

But you will def regret it

Nope wouldn’t do that.

I got as far as the front door. Bottled it. Going home to have a shower and eat a whole chocolate orange.

Good girl, wise decision.

You might want to rethink the whole situation

Friends with benefits should be just that. Nothing emotional - you did right

Just tell him you want sex more often. Don't bother with the card. It's rare that this strategy fails, at least with FWBs.

I mean it quite often gets complicated after that, but it doesn't often fail in the initial aim.

I married my fwb.
Divorced now but were together 4 years.

Don't catch feelings for fuck boys.

If he hasn't sent you one, don't send him one.

Good call, unless you actually wanted to suggest hidden depths of emotion to your fuckbuddy!

i thought fwb was fuck wit boyfriend?...no?

It seemed like such a good idea when I was choosing the card, then as soon as I walked out of the shop doubt set in. I do feel relieved I didn't do it!

I get why some of you are thinking maybe I should reconsider whatever it is we've got going on, but I know it's not going to be any more than it is and I'm genuinely OK with that. I want to be single for a while anyway but I also don't want to be celibate!