To think these teachers are unprofessional

[RescueRemedy21]

My friend is a teacher at my son's primary school. She teaches a different class to my son and has never taught my son. They have little to no contact at school.

I told my son's current teacher some information about extra support in place outside of school to help my son academically. It was useful for her to know so that they could share information/support etc.

Today my friend questioned my son about this at lunchtime at school. Therefore my son's teacher has told my friend. My friend has nothing to do with my son at school, there is no reason for this information to have been shared other than idle gossip. I think they have both been unprofessional. I don't know how to handle it though without upsetting the friendship.

My son is mortified as he didn't want anyone knowing about the additional support and my friend questioned him about it in front of his friends.

AIBU to think they are both out of order? Would you raise it? If so how?

Your friend was very wrong to share the information with other pupils.
You have no evidence that your son's teacher has done anything wrong at all. Sharing information about pupils is standard practice and there are plenty of good reasons to do this.

Teachers do talk about children amongst themselves, they are in a shared workplace after all, but they are all (or should be) professional about it and the info shouldnt go further than the walls of the school unless necessary.

What your friend did mentioning it to your son like that was totally unprofessional and quite frankly bizarre, what with her being your friend and knowing it would get back to you.

Teachers sharing info. It happens. Sometimes it's something simple like a teacher mentioning a student is having tutoring and another just adding "oh x is too".

Your friend was totally unprofessional the way she approached your ds. That was not necessary and broke confidentiality imo.

so if you were struggling with your job and had to go on additional training that your colleagues didn't need to go on, you would be absolutely fine with that information being shared with them. It is information that NO ONE in the school needs to know and thus private information. Information doesn't need to be particularly exciting for it to private. His additional tuition is irrelevant to ANYONE at the school - even his actual class teacher doesn't have a right to know or even a need to know, but their input is useful.

Colleagues in an office finding out that you had to have additional training isn't equivalent to teachers discussing a pupil. The equivalent situation would be a teacher needing extra training and support, and the head teacher letting all and sundry know.

I worked in a school a few years ago as a nursery nurse and to be honest I left the profession due to the other teachers and there staff room talks.
I have never imagined a school to be such a bitchy and unfriendly place to work. It was full of gossip and at some points making fun of parents and there children. I even overheard a comment of 'no wonder that childs got special needs, look at the parents!!'
I left the job and moved my children to another school.
Your friend had no right to discuss your son if shes no way involved in his education and if she was a close friend then surely you would of told her yourself about the extra tuition.
I would be most upset about her mentioning it in front of his friends,
very unprofessional and id definately be having words.

I wouldn’t like this either I would take it up with the head teacher keep the friendship aside it isn’t very professional

Some very OTT comments that have been misinformed by limited understanding of data/safeguarding laws. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing...

Of course teachers discuss pupils all the time. I teach in a large secondary school and yet it's likely for me to come into contact with students I don't teach and I'm sure that is even more true in primary schools. I've known far more difficulties arise because information hasn't been passed on than when it has.

Your friend on the other hand showed extremely poor judgement and it's her I'd be speaking to.

• "Your friend had no right to discuss your son if shes no way involved in his education "

But she is. Did you miss that bit?*

She isn't. The friend teaches 6 yos so y1 or y2 and OP's son is y6.

Jesus! I think this has just convinced me never ever to share any information with any teacher again that I would not want all and sundry to know! I am gobsmacked at some of the teachers who commented on this! If I behaved with these standard of professionalism in my work I'd be under performance management and probably out of a job!

A board with pictures and sensitive information on a wall as best practice? seriously? does that mean that the staff room is out of bounds to anybody but teachers at all times? I hope so, but doubt it, it certainly is not at my DC's school I have been in there a number of times and so have my kids.

And to those saying "school is a community" well, quite, that's why privacy is so important! children are members of that community and deserve dignity and privacy, that's why sensitive information should be shared on a need to know basis only.

How upsetting for a child to know that their difficulties are being discussed in whole school meetings with people that have no role in their education? and this may include people who know them from other contexts, friends' parents, maybe even relatives.

One can discuss cases and ask for advice on situations stout divulging names, that's a poor excuse.

As for this: You should hear what they say about children and families in the staffroom. you make it really sound like gossip, and nasty gossip at that! I hope I am misinterpreting!

In my school, information is shared on a “need to know” basis. As an example - if Billy in year 6 has additional needs, I wouldn’t know of them as I work in nursery and year 1. I would perhaps know something about them if for instance I had to cover year 6 and his additional needs would affect the way I teach.

And any school which has a board up with sensitive information on it about children are seriously breaching the new GDRP laws.

My child has a private speech therapist come into school - I am utterly fine with all the staff knowing that this happens - it's usually in the general diary of who is coming and going into school on any given day so anyone in the school knows who to expect to see walking around, and the poor speech therapist often gets accosted by half the staff wanting to pick her brains about various kids on the way out of the building (she's fine with this)!

Likewise there are kids that struggle with playtime that the whole staff body know to focus on and direct appropriately.

School are scrupulous with not sharing information about kids' additional needs with classroom volunteers or governors or anything - mine quite often gets used as a case study in governors' meetings because school know I'm fine with her being used that way (I'm a governor) but there are kids I go in and hear reading that have additional needs that I'm never officially told about - I know about them because their parents have told me themselves chatting on the playground but the class teachers have never ever ever breached that confidentiality... to the extent that I've passed helpful information to them (from the diagnosis my own child has) with a "I know that you have a child in the class with this... you can't confirm or deny that but their mum has told me - is this of any use" type conversation.

Teachers often seek help, advice from their colleagues. I don’t think it was unprofessional to disclose the information, however it wasn’t great for it to be discussed infront of students

It depends on the 'sensitive information' though doesn't it. We have had boards up with certain children's medical needs on, so that anyone who comes across the child is aware they have diabetes, allergies, epilepsy etc. Although there were questions about whether this was a GDPR issue actually.

Obviously you wouldn't have a board up with a child saying 'his child has dyslexia' or 'child protection issue'. But sometimes stuff like that does come up amongst teachers who don't necessarily have direct contact with those children, especially in small primary schools.

This not his

Son has said friend asked how tutoring was going, name of his tutor, what they studied

I can think of a few reasons why your friend might want this information. Does she need a tutor for her own dc? Are you competing for secondary school places? Perhaps she wants to recommend a tutor to someone else? Is she working as a private tutor herself? Very unprofessional of her to ask your son though.

Perhaps she is just being nosey and periodically asks your son's teachers, "How is RescueRemedy's son getting on?" Maybe she saw you coming out of a meeting with your son's teacher and the teacher simply told her when she asked?

However she found out this information, I doubt it's got anything to do with best practice. I have a close friend who teaches in the school both our younger dc attend (we became friends because our children are friends) - we often discuss the other dc in our year group. My friend has probably 'crossed the line' on numerous occasions. Unprofessional, yes.

- a Subject Teacher and Principal

Why contact the safeguradring officer? Because a child has had what he considers to be sensitive information discussed in public, said information being passed by A N Other staff member to a colleague with no teaching connection to the child.

As a Principal are you not at all bothered by the consequences for that child? No matter how innocuous you feel the information the child was embarrassed! That is a matter for safeguarding - sensitivity to the childs needs, mental physoical and emotional!

"Safeguarding and promoting the welfare of children is defined for the purposes of this guidance as:

protecting children from maltreatment;
preventing impairment of children’s health or development;
ensuring that children grow up in circumstances consistent with the provision of safe and effective care;
and taking action to enable all children to have the best outcomes."

In the absence of abuse and maltreatment that also precludes embarrassing them, opening them up to ridicule from their peers?

• ex Subject Leader, Department Head and Safeguarding Link

@Clavinova
However she found out this information, I doubt it's got anything to do with best practice. I have a close friend who teaches in the school both our younger dc attend (we became friends because our children are friends) - we often discuss the other dc in our year group. My friend has probably 'crossed the line' on numerous occasions. Unprofessional, yes.

Ya think????

That's appalling.

I would also assume this was done at a meeting, possibly talking about kids who need extra support.

Your friend probably didn't realise because of that he didn't want people to know, it's not something likely said at a meeting, so she thought she was showing an interest because he's your son.

I think instead of assuming anything malicious, there was maybe good intentions but something went wrong in thr communication.

I would however be more concerned about your sons shame about this, there is nothing to be embarrassed about by getting extra tutoring.

I think your major issue is you have made your son ashamed about needing extra help. Clearly this bothers you too and this has spread to your son.

It sounds like ...
OP told her son's teacher (A) so that A could communicate with the tutor.
A talked to a colleague (B) to get ideas what would be way to collaborate with the tutor. This could even have been in a group meeting to talk about all the kids getting extra support and how to enhance that.

That would be appropriate for A to tell B. It would not be gossip.

The part I don't understand is why OP's friend (B) approached the lad directly. Was it a casual remark in passing, to try to encourage the lad that he could do his best?

Nanny0gg
Ya think????

Perhaps I should add that she hasn't revealed anything that has shocked me - mainly academics and classroom behaviour - even so.

I would however be more concerned about your sons shame about this, there is nothing to be embarrassed about by getting extra tutoring

??
The op's son (aged 10/11) was questioned in front of his friends - now they all know that he is having extra tuition because he is struggling at school.