To think a nap is 30mins?

[WhatNow40]

A grown adult who sleeps 7-8 hours at night shouldn't need to nap in the daytime. DH will nap on every day off he gets.

He doesn't have a manual job and had a full blood test. He's not anaemic.

He'll say he's going up for an hour but sleep for 3hrs. It seriously impacts family time, we haven't done anything together for months. This excessive napping has been for about 9 months.

AIBU? I want him to go back to the drs and be more explicit about his my health concerns.

I love a nap but agree three hours is excessive, especially when it’s impacting on your family life. I would expect a teenager to nap for three hours but not a fully grown man, especially not when he’s had a full nights sleep.

I would suggest a trip to the doctors. There’s either a medical reason or he’s avoiding you and his responsibilities.

WhenTheSkyFalls naps should be LESS than 45 mins precisely because after 45 mins we enter slow wave sleep. Waking from this deeper sleep leaves us groggy and disorientated. 10-20 is considered the perfect power nap according to sleep researchers. If you need a longer nap then it should be 90-120mins. 45-60 mins is the worst amount of time.

Thanks for all your replies. I suspect he's avoiding responsibilities which is why I'm frustrated. DS has been with me this evening, DH in the same room. Eyes closed and snoozing.

In bed at 8.30pm up at 7.30 am that is 11 hours in bed then adding a three hour nap. Something is wrong.

My family can nap anytime anywhere. I'm rarely actually tired to the point where I want a nap, but I could probably sleep for most of the day if I tried. My dad and grandma are both exactly the same.

Your answer is the Vitamin D deficiency. Read the link posted above by Melroses. I had this combined with shingles when I turned 50 and I lost the first three months of 2016. I couldn't unstack the dishwasher without needing to go back to sleep for an hour.

My GP gave me a really high dose Vitamin D in a solution. The first dose didn't seem to help; the second made me feel marginally better, and I was boogying round the kitchen after the third, as I could feel my energy returning. I now take the highest dose I can get from Holland and Barrett daily. We need supplements, especially in parts of Europe and the UK, where the sun doesn't always shine. I'm in Belgium, and they take Vit D deficiency very seriously here.

I had it following an op - I never quite recovered all summer, and lost my desire to do anything and in the autumn my levels were underneath borderline. You seem to need your vitamin D to get over health blips.

I take it all year round now or my hips and neck hurt a lot.

I was about to jump in to say definitely get vitamin D levels checked. Mine were 9 and I could easily sleep for 3-4 hours extra in the day and still sleep all night.

After a week on 32,000 a day I started to feel human again. My level are at 40, and although still on the low side I have so much energy.

I see he's come back as very low, this could very well be the cause. Encourage him to go back to the GP as they will prescribe and monitor his levels until they are normal.

I take 3 hour naps. But only of I'm not busy. I suffer from bad migraines though and my neurologist advised that if I feel very sleepy I should try and nap if possible as it's the body's way of saying it needs a break in some cases. I've found that my migraines decreased in frequency and intensity when I started doing this.
So maybe it is an underlying health issue, in which case he needs to see a GP or specialist.
Or maybe he is just lazy or loves sleep.

pernickity

Yes, that's true, up early and bed late depending on season. It's a lifestyle not just a job, I know.

Maybe my family just had that attitude. If you are seen to be sitting down during the day, you are idle.

Now my parents are older and mostly retired, my DF loves a nap. Mum on the other hand never naps.

My townie friends have always loved a midday snooze. My family could never understand it.

I suspect he's avoiding responsibilities

Depression often you tired, Escitalopram can make you tired and Vitamin D deficiency definitely makes you tired. There's your answer. I doubt he's shirking anything.

My husband says I'm half woman / half mattress.
I sleep better during an afternoon nap than I do at night.

Before my underactive thyroid was diagnosed, I could sleep for 3 or 4 hours each day, and all night. I also had v low Vit D, and a load of other symptoms.

If this is a change in his behaviour, then I think it's probably worth going back to the doctor for more tests. There could be an underlying medical reason for this. Maybe have a frank discussion first to check if he is just trying to get out of family time, but it sounds odd that it's just the last 9 months, as if something has changed.

When I had folic acid anaemia I would constantly fall asleep it was only by chance that my low folic acid was picked up. I had to take folic acid for 3 months and that sorted the problem out for me. Get your DH to go to the GP to get medication for his low folic acid and vitamin D that will be cause of his tiredness.

Some people just need a lot of sleep! I LOVE to sleep, if I nap for less than an hour it will utterly destroy me so it's not worth trying if I know I won't get at least an hour. 2 hours is best, 3 is also possible and I am quite fit and healthy so may not even be a health issue.

That said... if it's impacting on your home/family life it is not okay. You guys need to have an agreement in place. He gets to take his nap on perhaps one of the weekend days but not the other? Or he gets to lie in to 9.30 instead of a nap. So.. you're not being unreasonable in wanting family time to be prioritised, You are being unreasonable to think everyone is the same in regards to sleep requirements.

Thanks for all the replies. I think I've been too dismissive of the low vit D. I also have this and take a 60,000 ui dose weekly. When I've been unmedicated, (because my prick of a GP decided I was no longer deficient so didn't need it anymore) I felt rough but didn't impact me in the way it seems to with DH. I suppose with all my chronic conditions I can't differentiate symptoms so easily or feel the impact of one due to the rest of it.

Back to the dr I think!

Anaemia isn’t the only thing that could cause this - thyroid, vitamin D and b12 could (off the top of my head, there’s many more possibilities)

I sleep for about 8hours a night realistically (early night and up at 6:30am). I have a toddler that probably wakes me twice in the night too. I’m knackered. On my days off, if I’m around the house, my energy levels drop dramatically around 2pm. I will happily sleep for 2hours if I can. However, it would definitely impact my sleep at night. I would have to go to bed later! If I had a manual job though I think I would probably need the extra sleep!

His vit D is 5?! No wonder he’s exhausted

I have a friend who has actual rickets and she can sleep for up to 18 hours a day. She was told she had the lowest count in a white person the nurse had ever seen!

I slept normally 9 hours a night and if I have a day off or so I will take a nap on a rare occasion. These naps can last for 2-3 hours, everyone is different and it doesn't always mean illness

You say he isn't anaemic, but what about haemachromitosis? That's where you have too much iron in your blood, also causes fatigue, is very common but not regularly diagnosed. There was an article about it on the BBC website recently. My DH has it and his fatigue totally cleared up after he was diagnosed and they removed enough blood.

I currently have 2-3 hour naps at least 4 days a week. But I am pregnant so I'm allowed... before I got pregnant I would only have napped like this if i was very ill or jet lagged.

Your husband needs to get to the doctor. He's obviously not getting proper quality sleep for whatever reason.

Vit D that low is extremely detrimental to health and well being

he needs a superdosing schedule set by his doctor as a matter of urgency

Mine was 12 and I felt awful. It's not even actually a vitamin, it's an essential hormone. Please get him to the doctor (or back to a different one if he hasn't been put on a superdose course

He will need to take vitamin k2 and magnesium also to help it all absorb and get where it needs to go

Mine was 19.9 and I feel like I’m dying, although I suspect other issues involved too, still trying to work it all out.

Even if you’re in America and using the other units, that’s still lower than mine.