To think a nap is 30mins?

[WhatNow40]

A grown adult who sleeps 7-8 hours at night shouldn't need to nap in the daytime. DH will nap on every day off he gets.

He doesn't have a manual job and had a full blood test. He's not anaemic.

He'll say he's going up for an hour but sleep for 3hrs. It seriously impacts family time, we haven't done anything together for months. This excessive napping has been for about 9 months.

AIBU? I want him to go back to the drs and be more explicit about his my health concerns.

@WhatNow40

Have his medications been changed, different meds and/or increase of something?

My normal medication had to be doubled after I gave birth and it caused me to need 2 to 3 hour naps in addition to loads of sleep at night. Now that it's neen reduced to normal I don't need the daytime naps anymore.

Has he had his heart checked? My uncle was like this, then they found he had a heart murmer and needed bypass surgery. Worth getting checked out, especially if there is heart disease in the family.

Additionally, you said he gets 7-8 hours sleep but what time does he go to bed, and does he need to clean up his sleep routine?

And does he recognise this is a problem? Have you talked to him about how concerned you are about a) his health and b) the impact it is having on family life?

Maybe he just likes sleep!

I am a healthy person (I think!). I need to have 10 hours sleep a night. Yesterday, I had a 90 min nap. I often nap in the day - would love 3 hours!

I regularly go to bed at 7pm.

Before children I've been known to go for a nap at 3pm and wake up the following morning.

I've always needed a lot of sleep. If I even have one night with less than 8 hours - I really feel it the next day and have to have an early 7pm bedtime that night.

I don't think I'm lazy - I dont stop when Im awake. I just seem to have 2 modes, 100 miles an hour or asleep!

Depends on the person.
My DM can lie down for half an hour, get up and feel.better.
I can't.
If I go and lie down I need around 2-3 hours to feel.better. Takes me around half an hour to feel drowsy and then sleeping for less than a couple of hours I feel terrible for at least a couple of hours afterwards, really sick, can't eat anything, may get headache and very shaky.
Then I'll perk up just before bedtime and not be able to sleep.
Ironically if I sleep properly for a couple of hours I can sleep.

I've been like that for 20 years, since I had glandular fever.
I don't often get to do a daytime nap, partially because I have to be certain that I have long enough.

Try cutting out carbs? I find they make me want to sleep all the time.

Thanks for all your replies. I will calm myself down and ask that he gets in to the dr within a week. He's the sort that will put something off if he can. Appointments are book on the day only, so hard to sort out with work unless he tried to get one for the end of his shift.

He's not drinking again, definitely.

He isn't exercising, he's not motivated to right now but it does help his depression when he does exercise. He takes E-Citalipram.

He feels refreshed after having 'enough' sleep. I have fibromyalgia and another chronic condition with symptoms of fatigue, insomnia and tiredness. He's sleeping more than me. Sleep never leaves me feeling refreshed. I'm confident he's not got something underlying in that respect.

His depression is ongoing but he's actually quite positive, having come through a couple of months of difficulties at work. This new job has helped loads with that.

Sleep apnea - not sure. He snores, very loudly. But always has. I struggle with pain-somnia, I can't sleep because of pain. I don't hear any irregularities with breathing that alarm me. Which is very different to when he used to drink. I used to stay awake because I was scared he would stop breathing, vomit in his sleep or something else terrible would happen. His sleep is definitely better, although I'm no doctor.

I worry about the damage caused by drinking. GP doesn't know they need to consider this aspect when ordering tests or looking at symptoms.

I had very low vitamin D last year and low iron. I was absolutely exhausted. Sleeping at 8pm every night. They gave me high strength vitamin D and an iron supplement and that seemed to perk me up. I've since had low iron again, but was never as tired as with the low vitamin D.

If he drank for so long maybe he finds it difficult to pass the time. I'm totally serious. To go from a massive crutch to nothing at all is difficult.

On a day he doesn't get a nap, he'll go to bed at 8.30 then get up at 7.30am for work.

I'm limited in what I can do around the house due to my chronic conditions, so when he does this, zero housework gets done. He says he'll catch up at the weekend. I work full time, am disabled and I'm picking up the lions share of house work and childcare. All while DH tells himself he's got it tough having a disabled wife and how much more he does around the house than other men. Except he doesn't actually do what he thinks he does around the house. Im happy to ignore chores and go out as a family, but we don't do that anymore. I'm frustrated with him and also really scared this could be serious.

God I love a nap

I'm low on vit D and it does make me feel shattered/achy (and I also love to nap.)

Also some types of light make me feel quite ill/headachey which is best resolved by a nap.

I wouldn't panic about cancer but would prod him back to the GP to get a liver panel done.

Just curious, those who nap - what about days you're working, have kids, out for the day? Presumably you can get through without nodding off so why the need on other days

To put it bluntly, because the bed is there and I can! If I'm out or working out of the house then I can't. It comes down to access!

I do try and resist sleeping in the day time when I'm at home but sometimes I'll go to my room for some reason and the lure of my bed is just too strong. And I'll think well today is a free day, I don't have to be anywhere or do anything so why not nap? If you never feel that way it's probably hard to understand. But I sometimes only manage not to nap in other circumstances because there is no available bed! I can think of many a time when I worked in an office that I was so tired I could have easily lay down for an hour or two but obviously I didn't have that option.

3 hours sounds like a lot. I usually go for an hour and a half, 30 minutes would be way too short though. Maybe he does only intend to go for an hour but ends up sleeping longer. That's happened to me on occasion. However I was low on vitamin D at one time (and think I may be again now) and the doctor prescribed me some super strength tablets and all my energy came back within days! So that could help a lot.

My DH was doing this and it was seriously starting to piss me off. He made a promise to stop and since he has he feels 100 tines better and more active. It was definitely affecting him when he was awake

I nap for about an hour when I can. I need a lot of sleep, though part of that is my chronic condition. Even as a baby it was apparently a struggle to wake me. If I am at work or out for the day then I don’t nap. I could get through the day without one but then I am just counting down the hours till bed and don’t enjoy the evening.

Having said that, 3 hours does seem excessive and must disrupt his sleep at night. I would be getting a blood check done or waking him after an agreed amount of time.

My DP is like this. He has depression and a low thyroid.

Growing up we would never have napped ( country folk) but I know plenty of townies who think nothing of it.

That’s funny citychick I’m a “townie” now living in the country with my farmer DH and him and lots of his friends and family love having a nap? I thought it was some sort of country thing since they get up early and work in the evening, the middle of the day is “down time”? My DH can often be found on the couch any time he’s not working.

I find it infuriating at times OP! To the point where I’ve screeched at him on occasion when he heads towards the couch while I’m running around after the DC like a headless chicken. A short pick me up nap when you haven’t had much sleep at night is one thing, but when it becomes a regular thing that goes on for hours then It’s selfish, entitled, lazy behaviour IMO.

If you feel he is getting enough sleep, then just plan days out with him anyway. What's he going to do when he's out and he can't nap? Maybe he needs to get out & about more.

Some people just NEED MORE SLEEP than others

I am one of those people

Not anaemic, B12 fine. In good health

Just because some people can be fine on their 7 hours sleep a night some of us are not. DH constantly berates me for how much I sleep and it drives me nuts. Leave the poor man alone

@honeylane

Some people just NEED MORE SLEEP than others

I appreciate that but we have been together 15 yrs and this is a change in habit. Not a tempory thing as it's been 9 months, but not just a DH thing either.

@WhatNow40

Sleep never leaves me feeling refreshed. Someone who finally understands this. People say to me, how can you still be tired... I have ME. It's shit..

He's not anaemic but has low folic acid and low vit D

Regardless of holidays, nearly everyone in the UK is Vit D deficient, get him some supplements - I take 3000iu a day via a mouth spray, it really affects my mood if I forget it for a few days.

His GP can get him bigger doses to get him back up to a good level and then he can take supplements to maintain.

If his blood work shows he is low in these then he is, the fact you go on holiday doesn't change that. Get him to go back to the GP now he knows this and they can help sort it out, both these deficiencies would lead to tiredness and low mood.

Someone I knew used to down a pint in one, then fall asleep at the drop of a hat. He got tested and found he had low thyroid and diabetes. Can't remember what prompted the testing.

@VanGoghsDog

Regardless of holidays, nearly everyone in the UK is Vit D deficient, get him some supplements - I take 3000iu a day via a mouth spray

I meant this in terms of he should be at a level where he can maintain his own. He hasn't had issues before but can't remember when he was last tested. It shows he is at 5 nanograms/milliliter which is quiet low. I'd prefer the dr to give the right loading dose and monitor but want to understand why he is low. I'm worried about GI issues (cancer!!) that cause malabsorption, hence deficiency in Vit D and Folic acid.

www.vitamindcouncil.org/i-tested-my-vitamin-d-level-what-do-my-results-mean/#.XGWiG_Z2tPY